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Three Wolves T-Shirt for Super Affiliates

October 12th, 2009 by Barman Leave a reply »

If you haven’t heard of this shit, you’ve been living under a rock. Get your head out of your ass and listen – this is the most powerful secret to the monies online ever. And no one else will tell you.

All the guru nut-hugger circle-jerkers don’t want me to drop this knowledge on you. The power is not in split-testing, creative ad copy, long hours, or caffeine-binging benders – no – it’s in the fucking shirt.

A shirt so powerful it makes the ladies glisten and the haters hate on your some more.


I used to be in debt. Serious debt. You should know this because it’s all I talk about. Then I hit the jackpot with affiliate marketing. Since my PPC success happened, I bought a “I <3 Affiliate Marketing" t-shirt. I thought it would make me cooler, but still, no one liked me because I wore loafers.

It wasn't until I found the Three Wolves shirt my life changed. "How can I be popular?" I thought to myself.

I know! It hit me like an adrenaline rush when you hear three wolves howling at the moon. I would create a newbie training course and sell the affiliate marketing dream! Now I help newbies, for a gracious sum of course, run around in circles with general knowledge that will not help anyone who knows what they are doing. Thanks, Three Wolves!
-Amit Mehta

I was tired of selling bullshit to unsuspecting victims. I mean, how many times can you re-hash the same info product over and over? I was in a slump. I had no new ideas and my JV’s wear wearing thin.

Then I bought the Three Wolves t-shirt. They howl at the moon, and one night I howled too. During this experience, I came up with my greatest idea ever.

Affiliate Jump!

I would now sell something that is already free while making it worse in every aspect you could think of. No support. Brokered Offers from Azoogle. Lowest Payouts. Horrible Creatives. Non-functioning backend. All of this, and I would charge people for it.

Sometimes, I even amaze myself, but I couldn’t have done it without the three wolves shirt.
- Mike Filsaime


What?

People still care what I have to say?

oK here is my experience with the three wolves shirt. I got this shirt in 2008, after becoming porky from eating too many Subway sandwiches. I went on a diet, and exercised with the three wolves shirt on every day. I never washed it. I also dropped my loads into it.

Now, I just dream about which celebrities people I kind-of-know-but-never-really-met look like, then I get my jollies off to the comments of all my nut-hugging fans.

- Tyler Cruz

EWA Network

15 Responses

  1. Marty says:

    Fuck yes, I bought this shirt on amazon as soon as I seen it, I don’t even care how popular it is – As soon as I saw how powerful it was, I had to have it on my sexy body..

  2. Kanye West says:

    Yo Barman, I’ma let you finish, but Shoemoney has the best affiliate marketing t-shirts of all time!

  3. PPCpimps says:

    I don’t wear my 3 wolves shirt but sit on it at the office. It gives me great powers. Oh, I take off my pants first – that is the key.

  4. Garrett says:

    LOL at this comment.

    This item has wolves on it which makes it intrinsically sweet and worth 5 stars by itself, but once I tried it on, that’s when the magic happened. After checking to ensure that the shirt would properly cover my girth, I walked from my trailer to Wal-mart with the shirt on and was immediately approached by women. The women knew from the wolves on my shirt that I, like a wolf, am a mysterious loner who knows how to ‘howl at the moon’ from time to time (if you catch my drift!). The women that approached me wanted to know if I would be their boyfriend and/or give them money for something they called mehth. I told them no, because they didn’t have enough teeth, and frankly a man with a wolf-shirt shouldn’t settle for the first thing that comes to him.

    I arrived at Wal-mart, mounted my courtesy-scooter (walking is such a drag!) sitting side saddle so that my wolves would show. While I was browsing tube socks, I could hear aroused asthmatic breathing behind me. I turned around to see a slightly sweaty dream in sweatpants and flip-flops standing there. She told me she liked the wolves on my shirt, I told her I wanted to howl at her moon. She offered me a swig from her mountain dew, and I drove my scooter, with her shuffling along side out the door and into the rest of our lives. Thank you wolf shirt.

    Pros: Fits my girthy frame, has wolves on it, attracts women
    Cons: Only 3 wolves (could probably use a few more on the ‘guns’), cannot see wolves when sitting with arms crossed, wolves would have been better if they glowed in the dark.

  5. andrew wee says:

    Wolves are tasty. Be sure to de-fur them before, else they’re a pain to get out of your teeth.

  6. Ruck says:

    I would have given you my testimonial for $2.95

  7. Lorne Fade says:

    Never underestimate the power of the 3 wolves t-shirt.

    Proof: http://imgur.com/2iid4.png

  8. TFXBoone says:

    Laughed my ass of when Dwight rocked the wolves shirt on the Office wedding episode. He did in fact get laid like a manimal, trashing the hotel room, so at least the writers understand and properly represent the power of the shirt.

  9. Josh Smith says:

    Never underestimate the power of the Wolves.

  10. PPCpimps says:

    i once underestimated the power of the wolves. my balls still hurt.

  11. Powerful shirt, with powerful character. Wolves for men. Cheers. Nice stuff.

  12. olive says:

    ” If you haven’t heard of this shit, you’ve been living under a rock “. What if we really don’t know anything about this? Tsk tsk tsk, we really are living under the rock. Excuse me, I’m just new here so it’s possible that I don’t know anything about this shirt. So what’s special about the shirt?

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