Archive for the ‘Affiliate Gangster’ Category

PPC.bz has been infamous for dropping songs to refresh your stats to. Props to Circa.

But now the game has changed.

Affiliate G Code

1. Don’t rat out ads and campaigns in public places.
2. Don’t talk to the 6203. (6 = F … 20 = … figure it out)
3. Networks and advertisers will sing like canaries when shit hits the fan. They are fair game, not your fellow affiliates.
4. The only thing you can snitch about is frauds and shady fucks, which there are plenty of in this industry.

This isn’t an exclusive or anything, but i like this song. Despite some altercations in the past, PPC.bz has no real beef with YTCracker. In fact, I met him briefly at ASE NY and he didn’t shoot me 9 times.

When it comes to rapping about making monies online, we’re all fam. Shouts to firelead for getting on that track.

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Who is spamtec?

Got a guru info product just like everyone else? What’s going to separate you from the rest? The name of it, of course!

Use this handy, spinner friendly syntax below to come up with the name of your next Guru info product:

It’s like Mad Libs, but for retards!

The Prefix

{Super | Mass | Auto | Automatic | Auto Pilot | Bullet | Magic | Sniper | 48 Hour | 7 Day | 30 Day | 60 Day | 1 Month | Extreme | Mega | Exclusive | Blackhat | Whitehat | Project | Insider’s | Tactical | VIP | Sneaky }

The Subject

{Affiliate | Super Affiliate | AM | IM | Internet Marketing | CPA | CPC | Niche | Blog | PPC | PPV | Google | MSN | Yahoo | Article | Media | Traffic | Media Buy | Clickbank | CJ.com | Buzz | Free Traffic | Arbitrage }

The Hook

{ Marketing | System | Method | Formula | Control | Launch | Blueprint | Classroom | Coach | Coaching | Strategy | Seminar | Profits | Bootcamp | Conquest | Tutorials | Tricks | Report | Domination | Dominator | Course | Tactics | Guru | Massacre | Evolution | Modules | Espionage | Inner Circle }

Bonus

+ 2.0
+ Masterminds
+ Script
+ from Home
+ in minutes

If you actual run this through a spinning program I guarantee it pops out a usable Guru product name.

or do it automatically

Real talk ladies. I’ll take you to the movies.

Photos of nice cars and money- just as good as the real thing (even if you’re only renting it for your rap video)

If you haven’t heard of this shit, you’ve been living under a rock. Get your head out of your ass and listen – this is the most powerful secret to the monies online ever. And no one else will tell you.

All the guru nut-hugger circle-jerkers don’t want me to drop this knowledge on you. The power is not in split-testing, creative ad copy, long hours, or caffeine-binging benders – no – it’s in the fucking shirt.

A shirt so powerful it makes the ladies glisten and the haters hate on your some more.

I used to be in debt. Serious debt. You should know this because it’s all I talk about. Then I hit the jackpot with affiliate marketing. Since my PPC success happened, I bought a “I <3 Affiliate Marketing" t-shirt. I thought it would make me cooler, but still, no one liked me because I wore loafers.

I know! It hit me like an adrenaline rush when you hear three wolves howling at the moon. I would create a newbie training course and sell the affiliate marketing dream! Now I help newbies, for a gracious sum of course, run around in circles with general knowledge that will not help anyone who knows what they are doing. Thanks, Three Wolves!
-Amit Mehta

I was tired of selling bullshit to unsuspecting victims. I mean, how many times can you re-hash the same info product over and over? I was in a slump. I had no new ideas and my JV’s wear wearing thin.

Sometimes, I even amaze myself, but I couldn’t have done it without the three wolves shirt.
- Mike Filsaime

What?

Now, I just dream about which celebrities people I kind-of-know-but-never-really-met look like, then I get my jollies off to the comments of all my nut-hugging fans.

- Tyler Cruz

So there was this Denver meet-up last week. Me and a few guys went outside for a smoke, only to think we were going to get hit up for money by this raggedy bum.

But he started his pre-sell – “Listen fellas, I’m not your average bum. I work for my keep. I’m an out of work roofer that’s been burned by a few contractors. I’ll tell you what – I’m going to do. 51 one-handed push-ups in under a minute.”

So we stood there like WTF, this guy can’t be serious. So we took him up on the offer.

Then this guy proceeded to do 51 push. One handed. In under a minute. With a cigarette in his mouth.

Then we gave him $6. We couldn’t get video to work, but he told us we can find him on youtube haha.

Editor’s note: I haven’t blazed in like 3 days. This is a record for me. Below are the ramblings of a mad man.

The copy-paste mantra has becoming incredibly prevalent in affiliate marketing. So what’s wrong with ganking someone’s ads and landing pages? Well, for one, it hurts a real marketers feelings. For two, it’s not a long-term strategy for teh success.

But first, a fancy chart. As far as I know, this is the first post to involve a chart of any kind, so tell your friends “yo there be like charts and graphs and shit on PPC dot beezee.”

A Fancy Chart

Marketing vs. Copying

Don’t get me wrong – all marketers steal. For as long as there has been advertising, ideas have been “borrowed.” The difference between real marketers and straight-up fucking bums is the ability to take an idea and make it their own, or to spin it into something completely different. This does not mean just once – it means over time if you are making marketing your career (affiliate or otherwise.)

Copy pasting may work in the short-run, but it does not make you a better marketer, let alone a better human being you thieving fuck. If you aren’t sharpening your marketing skill set, well, you’re going to end up bringing a dull butter knife to a gun fight.

Innovators

These are the folks that are responsible for the campaigns, ads, copy, and landing pages everyone else steals. They hustle hard and come up with ideas that most dare not think about, but once they are in the wild they do their best to defend their ideas from the vultures of affiliate marketing. If you are an innovator, you have a far better chance of defending your property (website, campaign or anything else) over someone who is stealing from others. Why? Because you have the data that no one else does when you were first to the party.

Innovators find the shit that works because they have gone through so many ideas – many of which do not work. No one bats a 1.000. We all have big plans that end up being total flukes, but in the long-run an innovative marketer will have more successful campaigns over a copy-paster.

And it is at this point, I will bash into your head the importance of testing. Tracking everything, and consistent split-testing is where you learn the most. Assholes guess, marketers test.

First-Movers

Now, there are definitely people that make money copy-pasting. But when everyone copies an idea or campaign – then it is not going to work.

This is the grey area between an original marketer and a bum. You see a lander, campaign, website idea, whatever and you decide you are going to use for your own financial gain. An innovator will take the idea, test new ideas against it, and find something that works better. Unoriginal clowns will copy the campaign or lander or whatever, and do nothing else but sit on their ass.

Those that borrow and make better become innovators. They learn from their mistakes and experiences, and learn what works and what does not from those that they borrow from.

A great example is the Coach series (PPC, CPV, etc… i wrote about it before). He was one of the first to bite Gauher’s shit – so he was successful in getting subscribers. But he didn’t separate himself with something new, so his status dived down into the Unoriginal, where PPC.bz proceeded to blast it to shreds.

Another example is the flog lander. When this shit was “outed” on an unnamed marketing forum, it worked for weeks and months just copy-pasting (being one of the first to know). But as more and more people jumped in, the margins slimmed and the competition rose – leaving a lot more people with a lot less profit. Fast money, even faster lawsuits and government involvement. If shit goes Oprah’s way, she’ll snatch that money right the fuck back.

The Unoriginal

Ah, the clowns of the affiliate marketing circus. These are the people waiting for a handout like bums on a street corner. They are vultures doing no thinking of their own, waiting for their prey to come into sight. The idiots waiting for something to be “outed” on your favorite affiliate marketing forum, or a juicy nugget to drop from their favorite affiliate blogger with their thumbs up their asses.

Here’s why copying something 100% without your own thinking does not work (in the majority of cases.) You are copying something that is a snap shot of an innovative marketers campaign. You have no idea if it is working at the time, but you toss it up hoping for the best anyway. You are taking one ad from an innovative marketer’s dozens of ads. You are stealing the one lander in an innovative marketer’s rotation of 6 landers that isn’t working. And if you don’t know shit about testing (what marketing really is), then you’re going to end up all sorts of fucked as you lose money. Then you go cry on wickedfire and everyone laughs at you.

This is not just for copy-pasting either. It’s true for the assholes that wait around thinking they will learn something from blogs and forums. If someone drops something that is easy and requires little brain work, expect every other tard to jump on it too. Have fun. These kind of ideas don’t come along very often either.

True innovation requires hard work (consistent testing) and during the process you learn what marketing really is. Taking the easy route requires no work, but gets you nowhere mentally and financially. There are plenty of great starting points on blogs and forums. A bum will take ideas and go no where. An innovator will see an idea for what it truly is, and add their own spin based on their experience.

Would you rather be the chump making 10% ROI (these are not pimp margins) copying other peoples shit, or the one who breaks new ground, and banks for months before anyone notices? Then dive into real marketing head first, instead of being that asshole that is always copying other peoples shit.

You gotta love some of the shit in this industry.

Hopefully you have seen this hilarious picture before –

Not to be outdone, our resident bad speller and grammar failure, Nick Throlson, decided to join in on the fun.

Now if you have never read (or tried to and failed) Nick’s blog, it is a slew of ads and pointless posts pitching you products and shit you don’t need. Another “affiliate blogger” for the masses.

Just look at these gems ….

I was born on September 24 2009 in phoenix Arizona; I grew up in southern California my whole life.

You were born tomorrow? What the fuck is this?!

Soon after I graduated I started working at McDonalds & worked my way up to being a manager.

Don’t get me wrong… we’ve all had shitty jobs – but shit that made me chuckle.

My man Doogan found this pic of him and it just had to be Photoshopped.

Keep up the great work Nick!

50 Cent’s Massive Business Empire

His dad is so proud. I would be proud of that haircut too.