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Employees for a company with a financial stake in the success of their clients’ games, caught posting fake reviews on iTunes. If anyone wants, you can scrape their client list ( http://www.reverbinc.com/ ourclients/ ) if you’re bored. It looks like they took down the homepage (as of writing) They look fairly big.
Do you listen to the radio and watch TV? If you’re like me, you don’t. Terrestrial radio sucks ass, and TV is only worth watching with a TiVo, so its not often I hear or see commercials.
It seems like government regulatory agencies like the Federal Trade Commission have their sights set on online advertisers. Every new story from the FTC is related to someone(s) doing something (allegedly) shady with the Internets.
But have you seen some of the advertisements that play on traditional media?
Debt Crisis in America featuring Obama
I don’t know if this commercial still runs, it’s a little old. But I know I’ve seen it a few weeks ago on TV, so it had some staying power.
Imagine the balls it would take for any online advertiser or affiliate to speak Obama’s name on their landing page today. Of course, people did this when grant offers became popular a year or so ago. Within weeks the FTC shut it down.
But that Obama commercial above? That’s been running for months since then, well into 2010.
And its not like they’re just tying Obama’s name to it. The entire commercial is produced to look as official and misleading as possible. It’s got a goddamn clip from an Obama press conference! The balls!
So What the Fuck, FTC?
Government regulation is a killer for entrepreneurs, especially online advertisers. In some cases, government intervention is necessary. When something gets out of hand, it’s time to put the old kabash on it and ruin the fun for everybody.
So if government wants to regulate advertisers, why don’t they focus on some of the shit that is advertised on TV and radio? Why do they focus on the people that are using the new media – the internet, THE FUTURE, rather than advertisers using old media?
Why Does Traditional Media Get a Free Pass?
Just talking out of my ass, but the main reason is that its very easy to track on the internet. People can take a screenshot, and there is Exhibit A. People can send a link to their friends or report it to a government agency easily.
With TV, you’d be hard-pressed to find many people that know how to rip a commercial from live TV or Radio. Who is going to sit around waiting for that commercial to play again? What government regulator lackey would sit around watching and listening the thousands of channels out there? None.
On the internet – its static. Always there. Always ready to be linked and documented.
Other Examples
I don’t want to out anyone’s specific shit here, but here are some more examples of double-standards in advertising. Discloure is the main element missing from radio and TV commercials. If you ever heard an auto dealer / car commercial, half of it is disclosure. About 90% of any medical commercial is disclosure.
But advertising “newer” things, that are common on the internet, rarely has disclosure.
Free Laptop – “You mean a Free Laptop?” “Yes!” “What’s the catch?” “There is none! It’s absolutely Free!” You can’t do that shit on the internet, kids.
Colon Cleanse – “Right now, as part of a special weight loss experiment, we’re looking for 20 people in your area to try a Free Bottle of ColonBlowX. Call now!” No disclosure whatsoever about whats in store for the buyer. A phone agent is supposed to give disclosure, but often they won’t. There’s no way to audit individual conversations. Call centers record calls, but at random. And if a call looks bad for that advertiser, “Delete!”
Debt – Huge on radio and TV. The Obama example above is just one example. To be fair, debt offers online rarely disclose what they really are – shady as all fuck.
Anyway – the point of this post is: Fuck the FTC! Stop hating on the internet. Go watch some TV and listen to radio, and you’ll find some shady shit to go after within minutes. For fuck’s sake, they’re advertising to your grandma during daytime TV! You don’t want them ripping off your grandma, do you FTC?!
The YMulti guys forwarded this over, and I thought it was relevant to this issue of dames and damsels in Affiliate marketing.
You may have received this email if you are HealthConverter.com’s list. Below is the e-mail:
Hot Affiliate Manager Here :-P — Hey!
Hey there!
My name is Cheri, and I just wanted to send you all a quick introduction to let you know that I’ve been hired on to work with HealthConverter.com as an Affiliate Assistant. … Which means, I’m basically your worker-drone slave to help you get through this tough marketing process. ;-)
If you’d like to get to know me a little more (because I’m sure some of you are like, “Who the heck is this chick?”), I actually have a personal blog that you can take a look at just to confirm that I am a living, breathing person: http://www.heycheri.com
If you have any questions or need help with anything, I am totally here for you! You can easily reach me via Email, AOL instant messenger, or Skype.
Maybe it’s just me, but it looks like HealthConverter.com is flaunting chicks to get traffic. It looks like they just got a random blogger chick to pose for pictures. I didn’t know HealthConverter.com was a modeling agency now. Maybe she slimmed up on those acai berries? “Stand there and look pretty, Cheri”
First off, what the fuck is an Affiliate Assistant? I mean, they have Affiliate Managers. Why not just make her one? Does assistant get coffee and donuts for affiliates? To me is sounds like Affiliate Manager interning.
Then notice how the “anything” is highlighted. That was legitimately highlighted in the e-mail. The innuendo is thick.
Now, I got nothing against Cheri. I don’t know much about her. Her blog says “get on my level” which I found amusing. She rocks the ‘haters gonna hate‘ gif on the bottom of her about me page. Also a plus.
It just seems to me that HealthConverter is playing the ‘if we hire enough hot chicks with social media exposure, then more affiliates will come’ game. I heard HealthConverter is hiring at least 3 new girls off of this list.
On Women and the Affiliate Marketing Industry
To clear the air, the last post “Beware….”, was not about me. I’m not bitter at anyone. Just trying to give young guys some advice on what to look out for. My game is tight, son. “I got 99 problems but a bitch ain’t one.”
Anyway, I got an instant message from another female in the industry that found my post amusing. She agreed with most of the points, and said that a “few bad apples spoil the bunch.”
That is very true in affiliate marketing. There are many, many, females in affiliate marketing that treat this work like their career (which it is in most cases.) They take it seriously and treat people as if they were in any other industry like medical or construction. (I know a real down to earth chick that has done very well in the male-dominated construction industry.)
No one wants to lose their job, especially over some drama where everyone finds out you’re a slut, boooooooonnggg!
These females work hard and would love a level playing field without any pre-determined notions about women in this industry. They don’t like that these nappy-headed ho’s come in, cause a lot of drama, and give a bad name to all the other females in affiliate marketing.
Cat fight, anyone?
Anyway, just remember that fellas. You’re here to do work, and so are most of your female affiliate managers. There are definitely some salty, devious bitches that will play games with you. Just stay away from the ditzes that help you in no way besides being a dick-tease. (unless you’re a natural-born ladies man) ….
Stick with working with the smart and sassygirls(specifically Oren) in this industry. There are plenty of them.
Ok ok the running joke this year has been that “rebills are dead” when in fact, they were not really dead. People still pushed, and everyone trolled so newbs wouldn’t jump in and fuck it up all over again.
Inside sources say that the lawsuit will be announced against this company, which apparently got raided yesterday. Almost 3,000 complaints is impressive, even by shady advertiser standards.
Although the lawsuit says its against one company, the part of the title that says “action against internet marketers” is not too appealing.
Apparently the FTC is going to parade around two people who got rebilled. I can’t wait to see what their story is (likely obese [why buy in the first place], stupid [read the terms!], and looking for a government bailout [wahhhh help me FTC!]).
HIDE YO LANDERS, HIDE YO TRAFFIC, AND HIDE YO WHOIS, CAUSE THE FTC BE RAPING EVERYBODY OUT HERE
Setup a throwaway email and sign up to as many guru lists as you can. Faster than you can say “Fuck you Shoemoney,” your box will be filled with one guru email after another. They will promote their own products, and they will promote each other products just as hard. It just doesn’t stop.
Guru Product Release Schedule
Can’t seem to quench your thirst for guru product launches? Here’s a list of known product launches for the next 3 months. I can’t vouch for the accuracy but I don’t really give a shit. I stole it from here.
July 1st – Alex Shelton (With George Brown) – IM Elite
July 1st – Tom Bell + Shawn Casey – Fast Profit Pages
July 6th – Craig Dawber – Google Supremacy
July 6th – Anik Singal + Saj P. – Clickbank Wealth Formula
July 6th – Trey Smith – Penny Traffic
July 8th – Joe Walter + Tom Howe – Ultimate CPA Blueprint
July 12th – Matt Benwell – Rapid Automated Income
July 13th – Jani Ghaffor – FB Siphon
July 15th – Andrew Fox – Nuclear Affiliate
July 15th – Alan Magliocca – List Laundering 2
July 20th – Chris Freville – Internet Marketing Empire
July 22nd – Brian Johnson + Spike Humer – Vision Made Real Business Building 2.0 Summit
July 22nd – Anthony Jones – Affiliate Annihilation
July 24th – Russell Brunson – Instant Social Anarchy
July 27th – Mark Ling – AffiloJetpack
July 27th – Sean Clark – Slide In Code
July 27th – Pawan Agrawal – MaxBlogPress: Subscribers Magnet
July 27th – Mark Lyford – Millionaire Profit Secrets
July 28th – Ryan Deiss – Perpetual Traffic Formula
July 29th – Jeremy Schoemaker – ShoeMoney System 2.0
August 3rd – Ian Ross – Turbo Profit Sniper
August 3rd – Adam Horwitz – Mobile Monopoly
August 5th – Mind Movies 2.0
August 5th – Paul Lemberg – Blueprints To Profits
August 9th – Tim Godfrey + Steven Clayton – Info Prodigy
August 9th – Rob Benwell – Auto Blog System X
August 10th – Steven Johnson + Steven James – Online Income Flood
August 12th – Eric Rockefeller – Quick Cash Concept
August 17th – Chris Cobb – AIS Home Study Course
August 17th – Greg Jacobs -TBA
August 19th – Kieran Gill + Imran S – Auto Traffic Avalanche
August 23rd – Steven Lee Jones – Traffic Anarchy
August 24th – Bill McRea + Mike Williams – Never Fail Listbuilding System
August 26th – Ritoban Chakrabarti – CPA Instruments
August 31st – Sara Young – Easy Paycheck Formula
September 1st – James Francis – Web Design For Internet Marketers
September 7th – Alex Goad – Rank Builder
September 7th – Adeel Chowdhry + Bobby Walker – Hyper FB Traffic
September 14th – George Brown + Andrew X – TBA
September 14th – Norman Freeman – Turbo Business System
September 20th – Paul Ponna – Mega Software Launch (TBA)
September 21st – Oli Tee – Zero Down Traffic Blueprint
September 23rd – Jeff Johnson – TBA
September 28th – Mo Latif – TBA
I’m Worried
I’m worried for these gurus if it keeps going this way.
These people are getting rich selling the dream to the weak-minded individuals that love to empty their wallets for some hope. Well, some are getting rich. Many are copy-cats that are watering down watered down information.
The ones getting rich know how to sell the dream. But their success means people copy, and what you see is above is just a giant shit-ton of product launches. There’s about one every other day. Some days there are two launches!
Will They Run Out of Names?
Even with the the “Guru Name Generator” I’m worried that these gurus will run out of names. There are only so many ways you can mix the words ‘formula’ ’system’ and ‘empire’
With all of these product launches, it seems like there will come a point when they run out of names. This is similar to the internet running out of IP addresses. A very serious problem!
Will the Circle of Trust Become Too Big?
If you don’t know, now you know. The guru game is all about partnerships. You build your list, and they build theirs. Then you meet up and sell your shit to each others list. When people buy your shit, you upsell them someone else’s shit.
This works with a tight-knit group of people, but with so many people joining the “I don’t know shit about anything but I can pretend I do” game, the circle of trust gets too big. Pretty soon its not a circle, and its just a giant blob of bullshit. Where is the integrity?!
Will They Run Out of Customers?
LOL Is you stupid bro? Will diet advertisers run out of fat people?
Gurus love to email you. They don’t give a fuck. Some mail you once a week, but others like Howie Shitbag mail you 12 times a day. All these emails and all these gurus means we might run out of servers for sending the emails! The ConstantContact headquarters might explode!
But Really…
I’m only worried that the guru game might attract government attention. Out of all these product launches, there has to be SOME false advertising. (OK MOST of it is) One day a government organization like the FTC might step in and shut shit down. Gurus will have their Ferraris and beach front homes seized! The Horror! The Horror!!!
I dunno, I just got an email about another penny stock offer and I became compelled to write this.
I’ll be honest, I don’t know what goes into a penny stock offer, but there are a few out there. Affiliates see an easy lead gen and push it, and all is well in the world. The advertiser, by all means, can be using the data wisely and within the law.
But when you’re dealing with stocks, you should know about a little old hustle called pump and dump.
I’m just saying the SEC can come down on motherfuckers pretty fierce (although, it can’t protect us from bankers. Like most government agencies, it has been gutted, bought, and sold [see EPA and natural gas],[see MMS and Gulf Oil Spill])
Waaaaaaaaah! Waaaaah My America!
Even though the SEC can’t protect the public treasury (your taxes) being robbed by the richest few (the ultra-wealthy in the financial industry), they can go after easier targets like some nerd in his moms basement.
And, theoretically, if some shit goes down where everybody is promoting it (see: berries)(then see: current networks emails pumping up penny offers), and if all that data is being abused (see: pump and dump), and it becomes a problem where mad people are complaining – THEN some shit would go down. The SEC would fuck shit up and send people to jail.
Well, that’s the worst case scenario. I would fear the SEC more than the FTC.
BUT! But!
If a year down the line, all of this shit comes true, here is where I say “I called it.”
It was all a dream,
I used to read Feedfront magazine
Nerdcore Rap star extraordinaire and science-loving friend YTCracker graces the cover of the next Feedfront. Could this be the first issue of Feedfront that you won’t throw in the trash at the next Affiliate Summit?
At the very least, rip out his interview and post it on your shrine to STC.
Fire up those Colt 45 and Magnum XL condom landers, Network.PPC.bz is having a contest!
Not to be outdone by other networks, Network.PPC.bz is throwing a contest that will have you shitting your pants!
My friend, Jonny del Negro, recently became a full-fledged pilot of personal aircraft, so we are using this opportunity to bring you the contest of a lifetime!
You’ll enjoy a breath-taking, yet very scary, flight over the beautiful city of Detroit, through the Great Lakes, and touching down in some wheat field.
Prizes
First Place – Plane ride with 2 friends. Since the plane only holds 4 people, you can bring one fat friend or 3 skinny Asian chicks. (skinny Asian chicks preferred)
Second Place – Personal plane ride with the pilot, who may or may not be drunk at the time
Third Place – Due to the condition of the plane, only 2 prizes are available.
* Term and Conditions – Winner pays for fuel. Winner pays for cost of flight with earnings from network.
Yes that is the actual plane. Comes with its own cloud cover.
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