Archive for the ‘Making Money Online’ Category

Nobody is Going to Tell You Shit Part 1

September 16th, 2009

Let’s keep it real for a minute. PPC dot Bz has been on a roll, so let’s keep this train chugging along with some fresh new posts that drop bomb after bomb of knowledge on your stupid face.

Be lucky that I’m writing this because PPC.bz is such a time sink, it’s amazing it’s gone on this long. Enjoy your free fucking laughs!

This post is for online marketers. Not the affiliates that have it figured out, push heat, been in the game a long time and put in the work. If you are one you should read this anyway because this post will probably be funny.

Nope, this is for the 90% of you who don’t know what the fuck you are doing and have been banging your head against the wall for months or years. The fucking retards that spend all day scouring the web for a nugget of information that you think will make you rich quick. For those of you running around in circles with your ass chaffing because your fat legs keep rubbing together.

What do you plan to accomplish posting on Wickedfire, reading thuper-affiliate blogs, and hanging out on IRC all day? Someone going to drop a huge turd of knowledge on you and you’re rich within days?

None of this shit does any good for the time spent doing it. It’s all a fucking time sink. Why? Because if you find some shit out in a public avenue (blog, forum, or what have you), you’re either too lazy to appreciate the shit that’s being said to even apply the shit, or too many other people know the shit and your efforts simply become a waste of time.

Now before you call me a hypocrite, keep in mind of the 3k+ posts I have on Wickedfire, most of them are no more than 5 words (usually containing the word dullspace) Of the 200+ readers in my blog, I can read them all within an hour and be done with it. I won’t lie; I can waste time with the best of them, but it’s something I’ve been working on and it’s what this post is about. Wasting time on dumb shit happens to the best of us.

So this post is about separating the real shit from the bullshit. You’re going to waste time online looking for information that will hopefully fatten your wallet. Here’s how to spend less time hoping and more time getting shit done (even if what you are getting done does not pay off immediately)

Part of this post was inspired by this one made over at insideaffiliate.net You can read it first if you want, it’s short.

There are Two Methods to Make the Monies Online

Magic Bullet – Chances are you are one of these people – the one trolling blogs, forums, and chat rooms looking for clear-cut instructions on how to go from zero-to-hero in a week. You’re searching far and wide for something, Jesus Christ anything! that will make you the moneys, quickly and easily. The magic bullet that makes you bleed money when you shoot yourself in the leg with it.

You just want to get your empire set-up in a few days and retire!

Well fuck you buddy. It’s not going to happen. It will probably happen to 1 out of a 1,000 people, and this one lucky fucker will blog about it saying how easy it is and it will only give you and everyone else more false hope.

Don’t get me wrong. There are magic bullets. Everybody that is somebody has at least one, but no one in their right mind is going to give you the loaded gun. You think someone who has spent months or years of their life or thousands upon thousands of dollars is going to tell you exactly what works? No, idiot, nobody is going to tell you shit!

Hard Work – Legitimate, long hours at the computer while your boys go party it up on Saturday Night. Pushing 80 hours weeks and then some.

This is called hard work. Have you heard of it? Pave your own way, you lazy fuck. This is what being an entrepreneur (not just an affiliate) is about. And we’ll get into why in a moment…

More than just Affiliate Marketing

There are far too many opportunities when it comes to making money online. You will never know it all. Believe it or not, cheap media buy traffic + flog is not the only way to make money. Everywhere you look there is an opportunity.

If all you do is read affiliate marketing blogs, you’re just going to read the same, regurgitated shit that everyone else is doing. Most people don’t know what they are talking about and will only lead you down a road that wastes your time.

Affiliate marketing is just the tip of the iceberg. Sure it’s probably the fastest way to make money online with no other knowledge, and people make a good living, but it is not the only way. There’s more than one way to fuck a fat bitch.

You can make a killing buying established sites that are missing your skills, for a few grand, doubling the traffic with some good content and SEO, and selling them for multiple times what you bought it for.

You make a website that dominates just one niche, one city, whatever. If you are king of the mountain you can monetize it.

You can provide just one service that will generate a million dollars a year.

You can “borrow” just one idea for a game and pull in a million a month because you can monetize it better.

Mint.com just sold for $170 million because it provided a service that people wanted, and it did it better than competitors. It was a long-term (well, 3 years) plan that made nobody rich until the very end.

Domainers saw opportunity while you were chatting to girls on AOL 3.0

It’s not all about pushing berries.

Part 2 Tomorrow….

Vote for Barruck

May 13th, 2009

What happens when you roll Ruck and Barman into one candidate? Magic happens, that’s what.

Get Clickbank + Get Paid

January 5th, 2009

Sometimes we get a little excited and just talk about aquasis this & aquasis that and forget all the other solid companies out there. I was talking to my good friend Andrew Wee. We decided to hold a competicion and see who could make the most money in a month on clickbank. I was destine to win this epic challenge. For those of you who are asking ‘who is andrew wee’ I will tell you he’s quite the affiliate pimp. So I get my check in the mail open it up. CA BAM! scan that bad boy in. Just about to send it to Andrew. He sends me this before I get a chance to show him my check for $79k.

Whos The ClickBank Balla Now?

Who's The ClickBank Balla Now?

As part of the bet we had I must say. “Andrew Wee Is the Best Affiliate Marketer Ever.” That’s the last time I challenge Andrew Wee to a money making challenge. For you guys who don’t read his blog you should. He definitely has the skills to pay the bills & thrive in a down economy.

ES5000

December 29th, 2008

What is the ES5000? The biggest ripoff on the internet by far. Look at that thing its a $5k tape recorder + earpiece. http://es5000.com/ You could easily buy a mp3 player/voice recorder for less than $30 and an earpiece for a little over $100 . Paying $5000 for $150 worth of hardware sounds like a great deal especially with the $3500 they’re taking off the normal price. The sad thing is I heard that the person who owns this actually sells these pretty succesfully, obviously offline marketing.

EDIT: look http://www.es5000.com/affiliate.html someone sign up & tell me how much an affiliate gets.

EDIT2: The site is running infusionsoft. It costs $5k plus an extra $2k for affiliate program + $300 a month. I do not believe that includes the design. This has to be the website of 2008.

How I Quadrupled My Income in Less Than 2 Months

December 26th, 2008

I was only making about $10-15 a week from Adsense for years. I didn’t really think that I could make so much money online, but I knew people were doing it. Great affiliate marketers like shoemoney, jon and chedda are all people whose blogs I read daily, even if they’re not updated. I’d just read the old content. But after I started having to pay rent and take care of a kid, I had to make money.

I spent years on Digital Point selling articles, getting review copies plz, and just networking with greats like this guy. But I realized I was getting nowhere.

So what’s the secret to doubling, tripling, or quadrupling your income? The secret is this. The Secret is a secret!

You ask… “Barman, what the fuck are you saying? Just show me how to make money online.”

I say, “Calm down you antsy fuck, the secret is the secret!” You’ve heard Oprah talking about it, as well as many other pundits praising its’ work.

That’s right, this series of videos changed my life completely. The Secret series isn’t even about affiliate marketing, but I learned some great things from it. All you have to do to be a super affiliate mindset guy is to just think about being one. Will yourself into riches.

No hard work, no split testing, no long hours designing landing pages and building campaigns. Just sit at your desk, blindly stare at the screen, and things will happen. Great things will happen. Before you know it, you’ll be cashing checks so fast the hot banker chick will suck your dick right then and there on the desk.

This program will even send you txt messages of secret stuff that will make you rich and happy. Just put your phone on vibrate and stick it between your balls and leg (girls you can stick it directly into your vaginas), and the secret will make you come so hard you’ll wake up with phantom nail scratches on your back.

How To Beat Anyone Out-Ranking You In Google…Yahoo…Msn…

November 13th, 2008

Step 1: Sign up for E*trade.
Step 2: Buy controlling share in the company & take all the search results you want.
Step 3: Profit.

You see how simple that is?

Get money + Get Paid.

It Can Fucking Wait.

November 1st, 2008

When it comes to building your business, there are 4 words that should be echoing in your mind throughout the day; they are “It Can Fucking Wait.”

We’re not talking about checking your stats or chatting with your buddies on Instant Messenger. We’re not talking about checking your RSS reader incessantly throughout the day. And we’re not talking about surfing MySpace, Digg, Fark, Facebook, Reddit, Television or some other very important task you should be focusing on.

We’re talking about developing your online properties. We’re talking about creating new campaigns to drive links and revenue. When we say “It Can Fucking Wait”, we’re talking about those tasks that you keep putting off which, when completed, will start eating up your time to do other things like facebook ur friends.

It Can Fucking Wait.

Just wait and procrastinate! The losers in this world are not the ones who find the greatest excuses to put off doing what they know will make them more money. The losers are the ones that prioritize and seize the day. what phagz.

Don’t create a list of action items to make sure your important tasks get accomplished. Every project you’re working on should be in on the calender for sometime next year. If you’re not moving, you’re choosing the right. Your next step towards making money must be “something I’ll take care of maybe sometime next week, maybe later” If it’s going to help make you money: It Can Fucking Wait.

Some of you may think that you don’t need the “fucking” in “It Can Fucking Wait”. You do. You need that impact, that force, that call to action and mostly, that kick in the ass to slow you down. Otherwise, you’ll end up another loser that had a great idea a long time ago but made a billion dollars. Dreamers make money. Doers are lahmerz. “It Can Fucking Wait.”

This passage is written more than 400 years ago so you know its full of shit:

There is a tide in the affairs of men
Which, taken at the flood, leads on to fortune;
Omitted, all the voyage of their life
Is bound in shallows and in miseries.
On such a full sea are we now afloat;
And we must take the current when it serves,
Or lose the ventures before us.

– William Shakespeare, Julias Ceasar

Cliffnotes of quote for the Shakespearean impaired

Try it. Next time you have an inclining to procrastinate on a task that you know will make you money, write it down & maybe think about doing it next week! HA! I don’t think anyone read this entire thing. Good job if you didn’t if you did you’re definitely a fag.

It Can Fucking Wait.

Inspirational Adsense Checks

October 9th, 2008

Now I understand that you may never be able to average 3.47568$ per day (yes, you read this correctly), but I hope these checks bring out your inner super affiliate.

These are not meant to give you false hope that you will ever enter the 0.0652$ per site per day realm.

The check that started the “bid on acai with adsense on your landing page” movement. Straight thugged.

This one changed my view of myspace layout sites with adsense combo:

So legit you can’t read the numbers.

Hopefully this will spiritually stimulate your inner adsense guru.

URGENT UPDATE
I just received word that nickycakes is joining this underwold of future cyber eGangsters.

Make it rain on them campaigns

October 9th, 2008

How does an affiliate gangster keep his bitch ass ppc campaigns in check? He bitch slaps them, of course. You may be thinking to yourself, “Ron, how do I beat my ppc campaigns into submission?” Well, the answer is simple, and you’re an idiot for not knowing.

The first thing you need to do is ensure you’re making the most bank possible from your currently successful campaigns. You can do this by running what we in the industry call a split test. This is also known as an AB test, but we’re affiliate gangsters, and we do it for real. I like to call my version the ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ test. How is it different you ask? Well I’ll tell you, even though your presence disturbs my well-being.

The affiliate gangster version is all about tossin’ them greenbacks in the air. Essentially, what you want to do is make it rain on them hoes. Just like the affiliate gangster you wish you were but probably never will be.

I’m Ron Mexico, stay classy.

PPC.bz Theme Song… Keep Livin’ That Internet Dream Suckas

October 8th, 2008

This is our theme song here at PPC.bz because all you posers are too stupid to make real bank. Keeping failing cus it’ll never happen, losers!