Archive for the ‘People that Suck’ Category

What I’ve been Saying for Years

PPC Classroom is some newbie training bullshit for learning pee pee see.

Recently, an inside source there helped me rip it to shreds. It’s just more guru bullshit that sells because of the hype. All fluff and no flavor. Lot of sizzle and no steak, as they say. Insert additional cliches here.

So this came to my attention the other day. It’s a video from Anik, who is the man behind PPC Classroom. I was going to embed the video here but it autoplays (tempting to do – but it might annoy far too many people). You can go to Anik’s blog to watch it douche.

Watch it if you want, but I’ll give you a brief summary:

This motherfucker ADMITS to screwing people! ADMITS IT! PPC Classroom screws people because it was sold completely on hype. Amit Mehta made millions with Adwords – so you can too fuckwad! Just prepared to get rebilled every month and learn just enough of the basics so we can say we actually “helped you”!

Anik basically says there were only a few success stories to come out of PPC Classroom. The good majority of their students failed. That’s capital F, as in Fucked in the ass. Well no fucking shit. How far were people supposed to get with watered down material and PPC information from 1992?

The same old story goes for all these guru bullshit products, not just PPC Classroom. They take one success story and milk its for all its worth. This shit is just one big circle jerk designed to fleece newbies over and fucking over.

The fucked up part is that its marketing 101- sell the dream! People will buy into it. This is exactly how shitty As Seen on TV weight loss products work (not all, but most) – no one gets the advertised results by doing whats said in the advertisement. You’re not getting six-pack abs with a belt that electrocutes your stomach… just a fact.

Losing what little faith in society i had left …

So I can’t get mad because this is what I and most readers of this blog do all day. Sell shit people don’t need but think they do.

But I can and will get mad at this- the comments.

The fucking comments on Anik’s post. Holy fucking shit these people make me mad.

Let’s look at some these dumb fucks –

Its about time that someone is taking the time to help out the newbies that are broke and believe in all the hype that is out there. I am one of those and it really is hard to know who to follow and who not to. Thank you for figuring it out and offering the help!!! That is huge! Jodie

Hey Jodie. How about a nice tall glass of shut the fuck up?

It’s about time? Are you fucking high? This motherfucker Anik has been fleecing newbies with hype for years and suddenly he has a change of heart because no one buys into PPC Classroom anymore, and now it’s about time he’s helping broke newbies? Bitch you crazy.

Well to be honest this the one of the few email subject lines that grabbed my attention since I’m overwhelmed by depression for achieving absolutely nothing so far in the IM world and I’ve been around for quite a really relatively long time to be not earning not a dime. but THANK YOU for this video because somehow its a wakeup call to me. Thanks again.

Hey dumb fuck – I think if you haven’t figured it out by now you should proably… you know… give up? I really fucking doubt Anik is going to change your life. I really do.

Seriously give up you stupid failure before you get so depressed you kill yourself.

Thank you. I have no doubt thousands–millions–of hopefuls will benefit from this. My problem has always been STARTING SMALL. Now, I find myself in the position you describe–not bankrupt, but for all practical purposes broke. I can see what to do if I still had money to work with. What I CAN”T see is how to get there starting with ZERO. I at least have an active web hosting account paid for. You teach me how to use it to make the necessary cash, and I’ll BUY anything you have to sell.

You fucking idiot. You’re whats wrong with this whole situation. The last thing this industry needs is millions of “hopefuls” jumping in. Where’s your hosting at? 1and1? Lololol.

Now you sound like someone that can be believed!

:: facepalm ::

Thank You Anik
You don’t know how much this means to me. I have spent about $30000. in one year jumping all over the place, and yes I am about to declare bankrupcy. I have done nothing but trying to learn how but then something new comes along and the rest is history.

The only good of it is now i don’t have the money any more to jump around so now I have to use what I have and that’s it.

You must be one of these retards that lines the guru pockets with money? Say “I” if you’re on more than 20 “make money online” mailing list.

If Frank Kern asked you to pay him to suck his dick, I bet you’d be on your knees, mouth open wide, with a $20 in your hand in less than 5 seconds flat.

GREAT point. Finally somebody is not sucking $$$ from us right away. Thank you!

Yes finally the lord and savior of newbies, Anik Singal, has descended from the heavens! Praise him!

I’m looking forward to your videos, I have a website set up, but not able to work out how to generate cash from it.

Yeah dude. I can’t wait to see what Anik does to help you with your Amazon-affiliate car parts site for a shitty car I’ve never heard of

Is this going to help and work for someone who doesn’t know how to work a computer??? I know how to send out e-mails to friends, but don’t know how to send to people I don’t know in order to build a list, if that is one of the things required then I am Stymied. Or to build a website, is beyond me. In otherwords I am at kindergarten level with computers. Hope you can come to my level of learning for this. Thanks Fred

Fred, you dumb fuck, with my system you can make $500 a day just emailing your friends from Outlook. No having to deal with those new-fangled “link” things and HTML codes.

Anik,What a breath of fresh air! My family is about ready to throw either me or the computer out the window. I have drained my retirement savings buying into program after program but still don’t know how to market and profit.Like many others state. there is information overload but getting from a to b is the main problem. I look foreward to your videos and hope to make that first $500. Millie

Your family should throw you out the window because you are fucking dumb. You are a drain on them, and you risked your life savings on what equates to a spin of the roulette wheel. Do them a favor and jump out yourself.

After three years of really trying to make it work, I hope you can show us “non-proformers” something very simple and easy to do. I’ve tried many ways but getting the right steady traffic is still the biggest hurddle to overcome It was always way too expensive and very time consuming.. PPC only made Google money not me and it is way too competitive for the little guy. I’ve slowly died on the vine from all the past IM hype.HELP I am on the edge of being bankrupt ! Here’s my S.O.S.

PPC is not too competitive for the little guy. The whole point is you can buy as few or as many clicks as you want. Riches have been made over and over with PPC by people in their boxer shorts. You fail because you spend too much time and money reading and buying guru bullshit, instead of getting those clicks.

_____________

The most fucked up part, beyond what these idiots are writing, is that most of their names link back to a website that’s about making money online. If you’re all marketing, SEO super business experts, why the fuck are you leaving comments that proves how little of an expert you actually are.

Fucking clueless people. FUCK.

Peter Parks should be Affiliate Spiderman, not Affiliate Punisher. Get it? Parks. Parker. Peter Parker. Spiderman.

Oh wait… Affiliate marketing already has it’s Spiderman.

If you are very confused right now, I made a post about some guru dipshit product called Affiliate Punisher recently. Today I noticed a comment from the creator himself. You can read the whole rant here

The part I care about is this –

You got balls, if you really got balls, set up a live webinar for your subscribers, I have no problem showing them affiliate marketing campaigns live, because that’s what I do… “LIVE”

So I want to take him up on his offer. I would like to tell all of the “subscribers” on my “list” about this “underground” “opportunity” from Peter Parks the “guru.”

If we can get enough interested people in the comments, perhaps Mr. Punisher will show us all how he’s making monies online.

Clearly this fucking clown used the PPC.bz Guru Product Name Generator to come up with the name for his product.

Seriously? Affiliate Punisher? Are you fucking retarded?

For only $1,997 you too, can learn the basics of internet marketing. Learn how to build a list of people interested in making money online (everybody) and then sell them your shit (basically other people’s Guru shit).

I’ve been listening to this video for giggles for the past …. fuck it seems like hour. Affiliate Punisher is a huge crock of shit. If you listen to this, its line after line of after bullshit. Seriously, it’s pretty fucking funny.

This guy wants to show you today (once you buy the product of course)
1) That he was homeless
2) That he made money online jerking off all the other Gurus
3) How to jack other peoples adds, add “killer content” and attract “buyers”
4) 3 “secret” websites that he uses to make monies online. (Probably Google’s research tools, Ebay Pulse, etc etc – shit everyone knows but he is selling for close to 2 G’s)
5) FFFFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!!

I swear to god, affiliate marketing is becoming more and more like MLM everyday.

Exhibit A:

5 PM EST

Mr. Yu said “The traditional agency model can’t adapt to these changes and in our interview we’ll discuss the mechanics of the new model”

I tried so hard to avoid this drama after the former posts – Don’t Tell Dennis Yu shit and Dennis Yu – Hyprocrit defined.

Seriously. I hate writing about shit that has no real value (that’s a lie) – but shit, it’s just too good to pass up.

Before I continue, I have to say i have had no contact with Yu ever in my life. So all I had was second hand accounts of his shady dealings. But our bald-headed friend Shoemoney, has had personal experience with him and he wrote: Rise and Fall of a Conman and just today – Dennis Yu Worse Than Originally Thought. And since everyone rides the PPC.bz coattails to popularity, we have to get a piece of our own action.

So Much Hate

After I wrote those two posts, I was contacted by a few people with direct relationships to Yu. These are generally nice, innocent people that did work for him or with him. But the common thing between them all – they all want to see Yu go down in flames.

For someone that was formerly thought of as a “nice guy” in our space, how could there be so much hate towards him?

Clearly he takes advantage of people, as you can see from the stories below. Shoemoney touches on extortion, which is clearly a illegal – but these stories are in a grey area. In any case, these are tale4s of Yu taking advantage of people. Whether they are kids just jumping into this industry, or people he works with – everyone gets some sort of fucked by Dennis.

Dennis Yu made a post his blog (not even going to link to it) crying innocence, like he is the victim. This motherfucker is not the victim. Like Shoemoney said, he is a conniving, sketchy fucktard.

Keep in mind these are just kids – not some super affiliates.

Making an Employee Miserable

I was working for [retail establishment] here and I had done freelance for Dennis. He offered me twice that of [retail establishment] and showed up and showered me with gifts, and taking me out to eat and shit, then 3 months later he was immediately threatening to fire me after he set up the blitzlocal.com mailservers.

He forgot to email me to tell me that he was forwarding my work tasks there nor did he even give me my user name and password for it. I had to argue not to be fired, work a 16 hour deadline project for an analysis deck and then do spamming on Facebook group accounts which ultimately got me banned from FB from that account.

After that things were OK until December of last year on Christmas day where he just kinda flipped his shit for no reason. Well actually I was lectured for 3 hours in [an affiliate conference] by him over an analysis deck for [a client] which wasn’t my task to begin with it was [friends]. [friend] supposedly dropped the ball so I had like 3 days to prepare this hugely in depth analysis with no help from anyone aside from the word document [friend] worked on. I put it together hastily – Dennis said it was shit someone else then added 2 pages to it, didn’t even bother to change the font. They just put blitzlocal serves (pictures of businesses) and an end synopsis left everything I put in before those and Dennis said it was golden.

December he flipped his shit on me cause I asked if he had any books I could read to help with writing focused more on top 500 clients – this was Christmas day mind you. He threatened to fire me and put me on a leash of checking in every 24 hours on my work status and told me I had to work 6 days a week etc etc. He then punished [another friend] by waking him up and making him agree to the same terms or we were both fired.

Then went on about every 2 weeks after that point for a year that it was YOUR WORKS AMAZING to YOUR FIRED every other day, it ruined my work moral and it really messed with my head on having any faith in the company. After so long I just quit fighting it and even with me not saying anything the man would argue with silence. I feel like I wasted a career at a [retail location] I enjoyed working for and 2 years of my life I could’ve worked on focusing solely on my [career] and everything else.

I’ve never had so much disrespect for one man but he has managed to hit the top level of my hatred. I’m not a malicious person. I just want him to quit fucking with me out of everyone else that has been talking shit about him and everything i’ve been silent until now.

The Plot Thickens – Yu Strongarms a Laptop

We had two guys working for us, [Person A] and [Person B] – They were chugging along and doing whatever and Dennis didn’t like [Person A] because he wouldn’t roll over. So this little plan was hatched, and it involved that seedy [Yu Employee] fuck spying on them through RDP / Remote Desktop, where he saw them talking half-half on how they were fed up with bullshit.

So Dennis pulls this good cop bad cop shit where he splits them apart and says “_____ ratted you out, its OK, if you just come clean we’ll fire him for causing drama” – Both of them were canned… Sad thing is, Blitzlocal had a client, and [Person B] was the presidents son trying to help out Dennis by lending a hand

So he sends someone to [Person A] house to ‘confiscate his laptop’ and [Person A]’s wife answers the door and says ‘Uhh, thats his laptop, he bought it 3 years ago’ and Dennis chucks a shitfit and starts threatening all of this money lost shit

So the cops get called and the guy says ‘Ok, we can drop it’

The [Big Company]’s Gig

“The guy who landed it, He was on Salary, and he landed us our biggest clients, dude had connections with people like [Partner Company] and [Big Company]’s – So he negotiates for [Big Company]’s and the day of landing it, he’s like Fuck yes, we closed it for $84,000!

As he walks outside, Dennis approaches him and says “sorry dude, you’re not cutting in” and basically goes on about how he’s a fuckup. So the guys in shock and says “Well, can we at least negotiate a revshare so i can live comfortably, and get out of your hair?’

“Nah man, cant do it”

“Not even 8k?”

“No.”

7..

6..

3..

2…

…..Finally, they agree on a meager $1,000.

Random Thoughts by Real People

We make the joke that when Dennis starts running the speaky networky circuit, he’s going to haul back another sucker

I didn’t expect such a huge reaction to my Don’t Tell Dennis Yu Shit post, but I guess when you shit on a whole industry of people then you should expect a lot of people to come out of the woodwork.

As Mr. Yu rides along on his high horse, the people he trampled in his wake are none too happy. So, being the epicenter of affiliate marketing drama, PPC.bz gets the full scoop on this Dennis Yu character and his dirty laundry. So if it’s war on affiliates he wants, then it is war he shall get.

There is some juicy drama below. Don’t get your dick out just yet!

All of the people below are active affiliates, some balling quite harder than others.

Anonymous Source #1 says –

He has 5 more guest posts going on to Techcrunch…but you didn’t hear that from me

It’s on like donkey kong, motherfucker!

Anonymous Source #2 says –

lulz this the same Dennis Yu who emailed me 2 weeks ago about how he was sad I’d been outing Facebook techniques? Lynch him!

We’re just getting started.

Anonymous Source #3

Dennis bought all my families names as he does with all his new ‘biz partners’ my dad had a small legal dispute and wanted to rid of the site so Dennis made my dad pay $2,000 for it and he refused to transfer **.com for leverage. And they make no money and did a bunch of Porn Stuff, blitzAds.com, and pretty much everything they’ve talked shit on, Dennis tried and failed at.

He’s a virgin btw (low blow!)

Ouch. And now the best part:

Anonymous Source #4

I used to work for this company. They fucking suck. Period.

When you inquire about the company, Dennis sends you a 100 page document with different pieces that his written. Half of which are about his failed network, BlitzAds.com….He then quizzes you on this crap during an interview and you’re always wrong no matter what. This happened to me, and four of my close friends. The guy is a fucking idiot.

Anyways, he liked me and offered me a job. $15/hr. Not bad for a young guy in a rough economy.

He claims that BlitzLocal is a 50 person company. HAHAHA…more like a 3 person company. The guy who handles all their finances, who is a two faced bitch, didn’t even attend college. That’s right, the guy managing all the banking for this 50 person company is a 20-year old college dropout.

So, what’s workng at BlitzLocal like?
It’s a fucking joke. Dennis spends all day e-mailing random people seeking out new business. He then passes these leads on to “Analysts” and expects them to figure out what to do with it. He pawns off work to everyone in the company. He NEVER does anything himself. He has no idea what goes on in the company.

So, people do the work he sends to them?
No, they don’t. They all sit in a room and place dating ads on facebook. Dennis knows damn well that this is to create extra income for BlitzLocal that he can’t make from local/enterprise clients. That’s right, DENNIS YU has his employees “spam” facebook because he’s in so much debt.

Why is he in debt?
Because his company is a joke. He always boasts about working at Yahoo and how he walked away with millions from the company. BULLSHIT, you didn’t make shit dennis. Those 20 year olds working for you have more money saved away than your bitch ass ever will. Furthermore, he claims to have exclusive relationships with Scott Richter and ShoeMoney. Both Richter and Shoemoney backed out of deals they had with Dennis because they don’t trust him.

What about those 20 year olds he’s fooling?
Yeah, there’s some Michael Jackson shit going on around there (too soon?)…He wines and dines them and claims that they’re all going to make millions when the company scales. Dennis specifically told me he’d have local 500 clients by mid 2009. He told me I’d get a rev share, and I believed that little asain. He had 6 paying clients at that time. A couple months after I left BlitzLocal, nearly everyone quit. He’s now left with just 2 employees. He lives in apartments with the 20 year olds he farms in to his scammy company. That’s right, a guy in his upper 30s, that’s obviously never been laid in his life, lives with 20 year olds.

Basically, Dennis is full of shit. He supports spamming Facebook because it puts $$ in the bank for him to blow away on the “legitimate” side of his business. If any of you are smart, you’ll avoid this guy. He goes to every conference, make fun of him if you see him.

He also just signed Maggiano’s, great job Dennis. Did you know that Maggianos is owned by Brinker International…who’s CEO, Doug Brooks, is actually my father’s best friend? You’re so fucked. That’s what you get for being a little deceiving bitch and calling people shit out on that you do yourself. You’re the kettle calling the pot black, and you will pay for everything that you’ve done to the people in this industry.

And there you have it

Don’t shit on this industry.

Seriously, because he’ll blow his fat mouth on Tech Crunch. The only saving grace of this article is that Tech Crunch readers are the same demographic that generally have ad blockers installed.

Dear affiliate marketers: Stop letting Dennis Yu guest post on your blog.

On to the article …

If you haven’t read it, it basically accuses any affiliate offer on Facebook as being spam. Or scam. Apparently the two words are interchangeable, so it doesn’t matter. (Paying for clicks = spamming somehow…) He goes into great detail on the Facebook ecosystem. Almost painful detail.

The gist of the article is Yu hating on game traffic. This makes no fucking sense. Either pay money to update your three-legged goat in Farmville, or sign up for some fucking Blockbuster. If you’re playing the game then the designers have a right to make money. You think those developers and designers for the game are free? You think those server costs for millions of hits a month are going to pay themselves? The developers of these games do not come up with them out of the goodness of their own fucking heart.

You don’t pick up the latest Madden at the store and walk out without paying for it, do you?

Stop Snitching: The Dennis Yu Agenda

If you haven’t noticed, Dennis Yu has popped up almost everywhere. He’ll guest post on your blog like it’s going out of style. His only agenda of course, is to get readers to his blog where he tries to leverage the traffic into his local lead gen company.

So if you’re chatting it up with Yu, make sure you keep a lid on anything that might be deemed as “scammy” by him, cause he’s sell out the whole industry for personal gain.

Give Back the Money!

Dennis Yu’s local lead gen division isn’t profitable. Fact. Inside sources bitch. It can’t be profitable until it’s scaled to a certain level. So how does he keep the wheels turning …?

Gee… could it be affiliate marketing?

BlitzLocal is no longer in the business of spam, but they do specialize in Facebook advertising and are now using the platform they’ve developed to run campaigns for big brands and small businesses.

When did that happen? 2 days before you wrote the Tech Crunch article?

Now all the sudden, Yu is too good for affiliate marketing. Maybe he hit a tipping point in his business and doesn’t need it anymore – so shit, might as well sell out the whole industry to get some visitors to his local lead gen blog. So you used affiliate marketing as a stepping stone – perfectly fine. But if you are going to shit on everyone on the way out, give the fucking money back. Seriously. Or donate it all to charity. Shit, you could’ve kept it too and no one would’ve cared but you had to go yappin on Tech Crunch.

This would be like me, working for the mafia for a few years. I made some money breaking knee caps, and after a while I retired from the game. But I need money to pay the mortgage because I’m not smashing bricks into people’s heads anymore. “OH!! I’ll write a best-selling novel on my experiences – naming names, outlining the shit I did, and generally pissing off everyone I’ve ever worked with!”

Don’t get me wrong… plenty of shadiness in this industry that needs to be exposed. But this is just too far.

I’ve thought I’ve seen the bottom of the barrel in this industry. I thought wrong…

I have a gmail account I use for junk – you know signing up for guru lists when I don’t want to put my regular e-mail at risk. So once you’re on one assholes list, you get junk from them all. So I sign up to dumb shit just to see how bad it can get. And if it’s junk you want, it is junk you shall get!

I saw this e-mail for a product that looked like it made sense. But once you visit the lander – you realize it is something that needs to die with fire.

For People so Dumb It Hurts – InstantLP

InstantLP sounds like it has promise. “Oh, something to generate landing pages quickly and easily.” (Granted, that logic is flawed already with almost any ‘landing page’ solution – you want good results you need heavy customization)

But once you view the video (you shouldn’t if you need those few minutes of your life to do something else), you realize that this is the dumbest thing you will ever see. It shouldn’t exist. But I promise you, if you want a laugh – watch it!

Here are my thoughts after listening to the sale page video…

• It’s Like Dreamweaver, but retarded – Seriously, this is a fucking WYSIWYG editor in an application. I don’t get it. Why wouldn’t you just fucking install Wordpress and manage a website with that? Or if you are the least bit computer literate, why wouldn’t you do this with Dreamweaver or other HTML application? You can do everything this stupid looking application does, but significantly better with Wordpress or Dreamweaver.
• I outsource for a reason – I’m sorry, but the most retarded non-speaking foreigner can put together a better website that this horseshit can. This will not save anyone time. You will waste time getting your money back (Note: If you bought this or will buy it – email me your IP so I can blacklist you from ever reading PPC.bz again)
• It Builds Shitty Websites, Not Landers – Is it just me, or does this thing look like it just creates shitty websites? You choose from a slew of templates that look like they all blow ass… I don’t see anything “lander” like about them
• QUALITY SCORES YO! – A privacy page? A contact form? It will do that all for me? I didn’t realize that those were all I needed for the Quality Scores. Thanks Instant LP!!
• Recurring Incomes – Instant LP will drop your affiliate link on the bottom of your shitty pages. So now your shitty pages can make you money when you trick someone even dumber than you into buying this shitty website creator.
• WEBSITES = MONIES – That’s the secret newbies. All you need is a website. Once your website is on the intertubes, the money comes in. Yes, it is that simple.

The sad part is someone wasted their time putting this product together. The part that makes me want to kill myself is that some people will actually buy it. FUCK.

or Stop Running With No Name Networks ’cause You’re Going to Get Burned

This sounds like a job for Protection.PPC.bz.

My friend runs a fitness website that gets some good traffic. He was enticed by the affiliate network – Traffic Needs – to run a certain offer that does well on his website. After some time, my friend racked up revenue over $10,000. Say what you want about the amount, but $10K is $10K and it’s his fucking money.

There’s forum thread that was started – after Traffic Needs started ducking people. The gist of it is that they are hard to get in touch with, and when you do get in touch you get the response “the check is in the mail.”

Fast forward to a few days ago, and now it’s official. Traffic Needs out of business. Clearly a lot of money is owed to a lot of people.

So my friend makes his side cash with his website, but now that he’s been stiffed, he can’t save his dog’s life.

Him: fuckin shit man
Him: my dog is going to die because these nigs won’t pay
Me: really?
Him: yeah really
Him: if I had my money I could pay the vet bill t o save my dogs life
Him: but instead I’m going to have to let her sit in a corner and wither away to nothing

Horrible Traffic Needs, horrible.

If you take anyway from this post, learn from his lesson. Stop fucking around with no-name networks. It’s so easy to start a fly-by-night operation and disappear the next day in this digital era. With shit like hasOffers popping up, the risk is even higher. So stop fucking around with networks run by amatuers.

This isn’t the first time people got burned, and it won’t be the last.