Here Ye, Here Ye!
This is a notice to all of ye (OK I’ll stop with the Middle-Ages speak) who call themselves affiliates. It is likely that you are young, male, and doing well for yourself. This post is a warning for you – those who cannot resist the sweet elixir of the punany.
I’ve heard certain rumors and ramblings recently that sparked interest in this post. You hear the rumors that women in the affiliate marketing industry know how to get what they want with their sexual cunning, and using the men in it to get what they want. They are just rumors, right? Well, when it happens to people you know then it becomes real.
And we all know what happens on PPC.bz when shit gets real.
When these vixens are done with the man and everything he has to offer – he is dropped like garbage in a bin. I also hear about it all the time. One of my friends was recently dropped in a bin during the last industry show. I want him to be really vengeful, but this post warning others is a safer, civilized route. The higher route, if you will.
Let’s be honest … not many young men can resist sweet sweet vajayjay (not even Oprah’s). It takes a while for men to realize that many women are out only for themselves. It is particularly bad in the affiliate marketing industry. Everything you know about women using and abusing men for material things and favors is multiplied 10 times in affiliate marketing. Why? Because you have something they specifically want (traffic and friends) and they are pretty sure they can get it (hot young female has a certain power over a mildly nerdy young male).
So how can you prevent this “pussy-trap”? If you think it can’t happen to you … then chances are it already has!
Here are some warning signals to look out for when dealing with females in affiliate marketing. Sure, they may be friendly, cute and even sexy. But tread carefully. You could just be a little plaything.
Warning 1: Send Traffic
This isn’t really a big one, but it’s where it always starts. There are male and female affiliate managers, and they are just doing their jobs. No biggie right?
If you are being pestered day in and day out for traffic, and the requests slow down or just stop – then watch out. Maybe she’ll want to be friends? Hang out at the next show? Maybe something more? The conversation moves onto something unrelated to affiliate marketing. Slowly, she is not as annoying as she used to be.
But always remember what her original motive was.
Warning 2: Flirting
You start the flirting game. Its easy to be a stud-muffin on the computer. The conversion is no longer her begging you for traffic. It’s about something that interests you. “Talk about yourself.” You find out interesting things about her. Maybe a little connection is starting to form?
You meet in person and this is where it gets a little more serious. Did she just rest her boobs on my arm while we were standing at the bar? Why does she keep playing with her hair? She sure looks good in that dress!
Side note: If your AM is married, then you know you’re being played right here. Single girls, fine – it could be lust or love. But with a married girl, 9 out of 10 times she’s just playing games with your head.
Warning 3: Do Things for Me
If your relationship with your affiliate manager friend goes any further, soon you will be asked some mundane requests. Depending on your addiction to the pussy in question, you may do some shit like design their company website or setup a Myspace for her cat.
Either way, you are being weaved into a web. “If I keep doing favors for her, maybe she’ll give me a hand job?”
She’s thinking: “What a fucking sucker.”
Warning 4: Send Friends
Soon you are convinced that the network she works for is the one to work with. “Do you know Affiliate Q?” she asks. You do. You think you are doing her a favor by sending over your friends. Then you tell Affiliate Q, Z, Y, and Z to run at her network.
You may help her setup events that gather affiliates, all under the guise of just meeting up. But all you are really doing is fattening her paycheck.
Warning 5: Buy Things
This is when shit is serious. You’re buying her things like she’s you’re girlfriend. But she’s not really that, is she? She already has everything she wants from you. Your traffic, your friends’ traffic, and your Rolodex.
Getting nice clothes, shoes, underwear, dresses, flowers, DVDs, and other shit is just icing on the cake for her. Damn, that is a lot of icing.
Lesson: Don’t Fuck with Industry Broads
In all seriousness, not every female in affiliate marketing is a conniving bitch. Many are down to earth, cool, and fun to talk to. But the circumstances of our situation (young male breadwinners vs young female goldiggers) mean that these things happen a lot more than you would think.
The old adage, “Don’t Shit Where You Eat” holds true. Don’t do it! Don’t wine and dine. Smash and grab!
Get with regular girls. Girls in bookstores, movie theatres, yoga classes, wherever. It’s a lot less drama this way when the girl in your life doesn’t know, or doesn’t care, what you do for a living.

3. The Sales Copy – Fake stats by using the same “look at my paypal account go!” screenshots for every product you launch. Yes, even though you may have had success with something back in 2008, you can still re-use these stats for each new launch, no matter how irrelevant. 





