Archive for the ‘People that Suck’ Category

Want to be a Thuper Affiliate Blogger like Zac Johnson? If you think it’s hard, it’s really not. Shit, it’s actually pretty easy!

There are only four things that are posted on the Zac “The Sac” Johnson Thuper Affiliate Blog. If you follow along, you too can start your own blog and one day you can afford a caricature picture of yourself holding wads of money! (Crown optional)

If you read the affiliate marketing circle of blogs, most, if not all, are involved with something that is in a gray area. Whether it’s spamming, cloaking, exposing loopholes, flogs, Digital Point ebooks, rebills, zip submits, pawning off your gold… yes they all have their shades of gray. But hey, that’s capitalism so fuck off if you don’t like it.

But not Zac Johnson! Zac made his fame and fortune giving pre-teen girls Myspace layouts. Now he milks it for all its worth. So what if you don’t have a big check from the good old days? No worries, you can either fake it, or ignore it completely because I layout the blueprint right here:

1. Expose Techniques and Ruin it For the Innovators

It’s not easy making a buck online. So when you innovate something that no one else is doing… well it would probably piss you off that your shit is on a blog frequented by newbies (i.e; those most likely to jack your shit because copying is easier)

So because you’re an unimaginative clown, you spend all day dicking around on the web, and you come across something interesting. Well, here’s your first post!

Exhibit A
Exhibit B
Exhibit III – I’ll let this one slide …. but it is funny seeing him do a complete role reversal 6 months later from the blow back of these types of offers.

2. Sell Out

This is much easier than making a post worth reading, and shit, someone might even pay you to do it!

It’s very easy to sell out. Trust me there are a million sellout posts on his blog… I don’t have time to link them all.

3. Talk About the Superficial

Here’s a good one. Post about “Success” and the “Super Affiliate Mindset.” These kind of posts help nobody except you, while you stroke your own ego. Your blog maybe be shit, but at least you feel good about yourself.

Exhibit A
Exhibit B
Exhibit III

4. No Idea for Something Useful? Have Someone Else Write It

The only thing worth reading on Zac The Sac is stuff written by other people.

So there you have it. The formula for success to be a Thuper Duper Affiliate Blogger!

PPC.bz got its start making fun of the likes of Amit Mehta and his cronies. Now he’s at it again with ProfitScammi.com

First off, what the fuck is a swami? At first I thought it was a retarded swan, and even that sounds gay. But after a quick search, it basically means “He who knows and is master of himself”. If that’s not rubbing your own cock, then I don’t know what is.

Second off, people will start defending this clown Amit. Personally, I don’t give a fuck how much he makes / made. It can be $2 or $2 mil, I don’t give a flying fuck. Just because someone makes money does not protect them from the wrath of PPC.bz.

This is especially true for someone who cannot shut their fucking mouth talking about themselves. Time to knock this fool down a peg or two.

1. No One Gives a Fuck About You

OK, maybe Digital Point morons do, but nobody that is relevant cares about you.

2. No One Cares About How You Started

Christ al-fucking-mighty. How many times can you tell this stupid fucking story?

3. Oh My God Stop.

I want to smack the fuck out of anyone who reads this blog. I was going to make some long, funny post about this clown, but there’s no new material. It’s the same fucking shit over and over. I can’t listen to another second.

I think I figured out the ruse. Amit conditions his readers to think that success takes years and years of work (it does), and going into debt is just fine because hey, you’ll eventually be successful. Why keep telling people this over and over? So they don’t bail on his subscription service, PPC Classroom! That’s why!

Just keep paying month after month! Don’t give up (your credit card)! Success really is a journey (credit card statement.)

You would think that anyone trying to run a legitimate online based business wouldn’t leave comments on someone’s blog calling them a “nigger,” especially when you use your own name and website as the link back.

If you’re wondering what I’m talking about, see this hilarious post over at Gxdia.com. Basically, World Renown Douchebag Chris Desouza has an conversation with gxdiafilliate, doesn’t like how he’s being treated (like a bullshit wanna-be domainers), then proceeds to leave comments such as this:

No matter what you vomit on your site about, you don’t own the name, whether it is a landing page or a bed your whore mom sleeps on.

You pussy, piss me enough and I will drive up to your fucking dreary state and burn your house down with your mom and kiddies in side it.

Don’t you fuck with me. I swear, you will pay big.

Really dude, death threats? Don’t you know who you’re fucking with?

Seriously? Tax dollars spent on this?

Fuckin GAY!

If your family business is click fraud, eat a dick!

Microsoft filed the suit in federal court in Seattle against Eric Lam, his mother Melanie Suen and his brother Gordon Lamand all of Vancouver and several corporations under their control. The suit seeks at least $750,000 in damages alleging that the three engaged in the scheme last year to drive up advertising costs for legitimate Microsoft advertisers while creating an advantage for the defendants’ own businesses.

Read it and complain

That said, Florida Congressman Cliff Stearns is calling ICANN out on their (unrelated) bullshit)

Now, if you know anything about PPC.bz then you know we’re serious about making fun of people. Shoemoney is one such person.

ShoemoneyX is an XTREME marketing series from the grandmaster of shameless self-promotion, Shoemoney. I don’t know what the XTREME part means, but I think it’s geared towards teenagers that loiter on public property. You know, like XTREME DORITOS!

Unfortunately for us, this is a 12-week marketing course, so we can’t make fun of it all at once. On the plus side, this should provide plenty of fodder for posts in the future. This shouldn’t be a 12-week marketing course because the first PDF is only 11 pages long. So unless you read like a retarded 2nd-grader, this really should be a 12-hour marketing course. But you know good old shoemoney, milking shit for all its worth until the teet has run dry.

Week 1 – The Beginner’s Guide To Internet Marketing

Shoemoney starts off with his SOB story about how he was an overweight, chain-smoking, no-pussy-gettin’, lazy slackin’, bald headin’, video-game-playin’, sittin’ on the computer 14 hours a day motherfucker.

To be honest I’m not even going to review the rest of this garbage. It’s just plain old newbie 101 shit.

I really just wanted to post that Ghostbusters Photoshop.

I can prove it to you, so I took the time to make this pretty chart of my ClickBooth spam. I have to deal with hundreds of these a week. They’re all from fucking ClickBooth (aside from the pharm ones)

I know people do some sketchy shit in the A Game, but I didn’t know “Legitimate” Networks allowed no-opt-in, can’t opt-out spam.

Also, Rachael Ray is kind of a bitch.

This is a PPC.bz Exclusive.

An anonymous source is being shortchanged by PPC Coach and wants this story public. If you’re a PPC Coach affiliate and wondering why your commissions are a little light, this is probably why…

1) You Pay for the Product in USD
2) Your 50% of the Sale gets shown to you in USD
3) Your Commissions Shows up as USD
4) BUT You Get Paid in Canadian Money

So almost $700 in what you thought your affiliate commissions would be, ends up being $530. PWNT by Will Haimerl.