Archive for the ‘Random’ Category

This has always intrigued me, and I want some answers now. For some reason, PPC.bz gets a lot of traffic for Pizza related inquiries, mostly due to this post that rips on Dominos putting plastic soda bottles in the oven.

What is this $2 delivery fee from Papa John’s when you order online?

I know at least one reader either works at Papa John’s or knows someone that does.

Here are my questions

• Why is this Delivery Fee there?
• Who gets the Delivery Fee? Papa Johns? The Driver? Or some sort of rev share?
• If I know the answer to above question, I can tip appropriately. But since I do not know, I am either tipping the driver $2 too much or $2 too little in 6th step. Why won’t you explain the goddamn delivery fee to me Papa John!
• After you order, you are upsold some Netflix / Magazines. I’m curious to know how much more Papa Johns rakes in if you order online instead of over the phone.

That is all.

Edit: That is not all actually.

Delivery Charge is Extortion!

The big deal is that the big chains keep the money and fuck you, and the driver. Here’s a good explanation

Stop buying from big chain pizza joints. Support your local pizzeria! Now go get fat!

What the fuck is this shit?

I’m going to take it easy, only because it’s for charity, but seriously, what the fuck?

Take a look at the following banner for a contest being put on by Clickbooth….

Before you read on, you will also want to read the Contest details for a good laugh.

Have you ever wondered what it’s like to live like a Super Affiliate? The money, the exposure, the opportunities – it all comes along with being one of the top dogs in the industry.

If you care about anything other than the money, then something is wrong with your head. If your goal is to suck off John Chow and Zac Johnson, you need to check your head and commit suicide.

While it usually takes a lot of hard work and sacrifice to be in the top 2% of affiliate marketers, we put together this contest to not only give you a taste of what it’s like to live like a Super Affiliate, but also to provide you with some great opportunities that will help you achieve that level of success quicker.

What? What the fuck does being “reviewed” by Ian Fernando have to do with being in the top 2%? FACT: 90% of the Top 2% wouldn’t blog if it meant saving their grandmother’s life.

Keep in mind this contest is only for “new” affiliates, which generally means complete nubs, as most affiliates with any experience have a) Already heard of Clickbooth, b) would not want to win these prizes.

Let’s have a look at these glorious prizes, shall we?

• Weekend Trip to Sarasota, Florida (Hang out with Clickbooth for the weekend and receive the ultimate Super Affiliate treatment!) – Fair enough. A vacation. Fine.
• 125×125 ad on JohnChow.com for 1 Month – Here’s where this contest can start eating shit. What the fuck would you want a banner on John Chow.com for? You only have to compete with the other 90 banners on his blog. And what are you going to do with the retards coming from his blog to your blog anyway?
• Guest Post or Product/Service Review on JohnChow.com – Well shit, like this is something special? If you can sell it, chances are, Chow has posted about it 13 times. His whole blog is a gimmick to sell shit to people. He needs to blog about some shit that will cut down those massive chompers of his.
• Guest Post on ZacJohnson.com – Glory Glory Hallelujah! If I won this prize, I would want Zac Johnson to write a review about my balls. I would draw a smiley face on my balls, then send him pictures. The comedy would start when he is forced to come up with 500 words about my balls.
• 1 Ticket to Leads Con in Vegas – I’ve never been to LeadsCon, but it looks to me like the tickets are free. (if not free, cheap enough)
• 1 Platinum Pass to Affiliate Summit West – The only legit prize here. But all you need is the Hall pass because if you spend all day at the sessions you should stab yourself in the eye.
• An Interview on MurrayNewlands.com – I have Murray in my reader, but I have never spent more than 3 seconds reading a post. All this guy does is interview people. Why? Does anyone actually watch the interviews? There is no bigger waste of time on the internet than watching interviews with unknown people. I’ll watch an interview with Dullspace, because he is the world’s 2nd most interesting man. But some shlub newbie affiliate… well, go fuck yourself.
• Product/Service Review on IanFernando.com – Ian will surely give you a good review, whoever you are, random newbie.
• Membership to Twit Sniper – Pointless. No one makes money on twitter.
• 30 Minute Consulting Call with Super Affiliate Zac Johnson – What would I ask him, my true love, Zac Johnson? How many Spiderman costumes he owns? How he comes up with all of those interesting posts on his blog? What he thinks about when he is taking a shit? Oh, woe is me!

I hate this contest because it perpetuates the notion that you need a blog in order to make monies online. Blogs should be entertainment only. They don’t make money (in this game) and are a waste of time. The only time you should consider one is if you’ve already attained some success, and you want to leverage your blog into more exposure (or if you want Free Press Passes to Conferences). Even then you would rather be low-key.

But if you are some newbie, then you have nothing to say. No one gives a fuck about you and your blog, or your making money online “journey.” Shut the fuck up and get to work and stop thinking that touching John Chow’s giant flat-top haircut has anything to do with success.

1. look at Lamebook
II. Your website will be about funny bad typing. Set an autoblog up to post an image or two a day, with stupid ass people on Yahoo Answers, Facebook, etc…. shit there’s gotta be a site like this out there exhibit a
C. Promote site.
4. Register badtyping.com (Available at the time of writing)

If it gets popular, good for you. You won’t make money dollars but you can leverage a viral site by linking to your other properties. Sometimes these viral sites gain linkjews fairly quickly. It shouldn’t take more than 20 minutes and some occasional promotion, or take it all the way if you have nothing better to do.

Ah… good old Weird Al’. He was pretty funny in grade school, and is still funny today busting out pop-culture classics.

Gauging some interest here on a basketball tourney for Affiliate Summit East in NYC… thinking like 6-12 teams?

1) How many people would be interested in a basketball tourney during Affiliate Summit East? Get the people in your network, or your group of gay blogger friends, whatever, to make up your team.

2) Which network has the balls to sponsor the tourney and actually help do the work to put it together because I am lazy. First come first serve.

This tourney would be CoEd. That is all.

If you ever wanted to hear an e-book sales pitch with a bit of pity, then you need to see this one. Listen to Ross go on and on about his life story…Watch the video here.

After a couple of minutes of listening, I forgot he was selling something. Wait, why am I here again? Is this a cancer survivor’s support group?

The hypocrisy at Google Adwords is sometimes mind-boggling. I saw this ad on Google Maps while doing some virtual planning for Ad:tech San Francisco.

I wasn’t planning on ad:tech SF, then a few days ago I thought it was worth my while to go. The prices were great so I figured why not spend a couple of days in San Fran and pick up some business cards. This will be my first Ad:tech conference.

If you are a loyal PPC.bz reader, let us know in the comments if you’re going to ad:tech. PPC.bz has something devious in the works and would like to know a rough idea of who is going.

If you’re wondering why this post exists, look no further than JonWarass.com. Now I don’t really want or need whatever % off of DeveloperHut services, but this story needs to be told to the masses.

Jon Waraas’s blog was one of the first blogs I ever read related to affiliate marketing. This was back in the day when I thought John Chow and Tyler Cruz had relevance, so any blog that talked about making teh monies online seemed cool to me. So for some reason, Jon Waraas seemed like a good read and I kept it in my reader (as I slowly but surely removed shitty blogs when I realized how full of shit they are)

Barman Meets Jon Waraas

A long, long time ago, there was an event called Affiliate Summit East Boston. I was hanging out in the conference hall and went out for a smoke. This is where I met Jon Waraas, who is actually one tall motherfucker. For some reason it was really cool to meet an infamous blogger in our industry, but then the novelty wore off after about 12 seconds.

Later that day, or maybe the next day, a bunch of industry cats had dinner at a fancy restaurant in Boston. This party was hooked up by Nickycakes who made Geoff of Advaliant do his bidding, and provide corporate sponsorship for this dinner.

This whole dinner is a story within itself which will never be told. When you have people like aojon and smax sitting at the same table, there’s comedy to be had. But let’s focus on Jon Waraas. So we finally get some grub on the table, and what do you know… Jon Waraas busts out his camera John Chow style and starts taking pictures of his food. I fucking snapped. “What the fuck are you doing man,” I yelled. Waraas looked at me dumbfounded, “Uh, taking pictures of food.” At this point you have to realize that I think this unacceptable behavior, cause it is oh-so-gay. But then I realized I’ve only known Jon Waraas for less than an hour, and he’s probably wondering why the fuck this stranger is yelling at him.

Jon Waraas showss PPC.bz some love

When PPC.bz first started, it grew quickly because it was cool to like PPC.bz. These days, it’s a necessity. So I had to ride the wave and asked bloggers to talk about PPC.bz to get more traffic, and grow the subscriber list from 6 to 7. Jon Waraas was one of the first to blog about PPC.bz, and his newb traffic was actually legit. Now I am returning the favor.

Barman Plays Call of Duty 4 with Jon Waraas

I don’t play COD4 a lot, but one time I played with Jon Waraas. Let’s put it this way… if Waraas was actually fighting in Iraq we’d have won the war by now. This dude is a dead-silent killer who can single-handedly keep your team alive (especially since I suck so bad). He eats durkas for breakfast then shits ‘em out at dinner time. Don’t fuck with Jon Waraas.

So that is my Jon Waraas story.

This has been a PAID REVIEW of Jon Waraas.com