Oh sorry I didn’t know we weren’t supposed to use religious figures in our E-mail subject lines and Blog titles.

To clarify this is an article or something i threw up years ago promoting this service. It got referrals steadily over time… not something i would actively promote.

Ripped from ppv playbook forums

Winner gets 10 free copy of Jon Volk’s Affiliate Marketing Guide.

Buildin web traffic so that we could sell an ad space

I have a junk box setup for guru bullshit and i saw this email from Shoemoney. I don’t know if it’s “OK” to publish this email, but Shoemoney can send me the C&D like he does to everyone else that mentions his name with commercial intent. Go get yourself on shoe’s list so he doesn’t have a hissy fit and pretend you got this email too.

Anyway, this email chronicles the story of Mike Filsaime’s retardation of not doing the proper paperwork for the IRS. Even the most half-assed business person knows about 1099’s… and how someone generating millions of dollars a year DID NOT DO THIS IS FUCKING AMAZING TO ME.

Really dude? Fucking millions of dollars a year and you couldn’t afford a fucking CPA (cert. public accountant …. not the other CPA) that went “Hey, wait a minute Mike… I think you need to fill out some 1099’s” You figured “Paypal was good enough?” WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU? HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET THIS FAR IN LIFE?

The best part of this story, and by best I mean worst, is that Mike Filsaime is leveraging his stupidity into a product called Pay People Online. This product tracks 1099’s or some shit for people you pay through paypal.

WOW MIKE GREAT IDEA. HOW COME I DIDN’T THINK OF THIS?! Oh because I have a CPA that doesn’t smoke fucking crack and tells me obvious shit.

This story exemplifies the disconnect between real life businesses and online businesses. You think just because it’s online the same rules don’t apply? Well, when it comes to the IRS, you better believe they do. Now you’re $1.5 million poorer HAHAHAHAHAH!

From Shoemoney:
As I always say I learn 100x more from my failures then from my successes. What do you find more scary? Getting dinged by the IRS for 1.5 Million dollars in fines and penalties or having the FTC break down your door and virtually bankrupt you? One story we will cover in this email and the other in another week.

Mike Filsaime has been one of the biggest internet marketers in the world. His products have done millions in sales annually. Mike also has an army of affiliates that act as commission based sales people to sell products for him and he has paid out hundreds of thousands of dollars to them for years. I am sure many of you reading also pay people in some regard… maybe you have affiliates or maybe you just have contractors or other people you pay money to. All of you can benefit from hearing Mike’s story.

In Early 2008 the IRS conducted a random audit on Mike Filsaime’s company. There was nothing Mike did to trigger the audit, well other then being in our industry and the crazy spikes we see in revenue setting off some “Red Flags”. Anyway… They went over all of his financial records going back 7 years and came back to him with a huge mountain of paper work asking where his 1099’s were on all these people he had paid money to.

Mike told me for years he had been paying money to affiliates via PayPal and figured that was good enough records to keep on them. He had no clue he needed to also get a 1099 on every person he was paying money to through PayPal. After all… PayPal has records on these guys right?

The IRS told him it did not matter what PayPal had. It was HIS responsibility to have the 1099 tax forms on file for each of these people he was paying money out to. OUCH.

Mike said they not only let him NOT deduct those expenses but now HE now had to claim that income on that money that was actually paid out to people.

But here is where it really sucked…. bad…

Since some of the people Mike paid were way back in the early 2000’s… and he now had to claim that as income…. Guess what? That’s right he had to pay the taxes PLUS a fine for each infraction AND interest on that money FOR THE LAST 7 YEARS.

Now the actual money paid out to affiliates that he did not have 1099’s on only totaled a couple hundred thousand dollars but Mike had to write a check to the IRS for back payments, fines, and interest for over 1.5 MILLION dollars…. ZOMG!!!!!!!!!

So what did Mike do wrong? He always paid all his taxes and took proper deductions. He just did not have good paper work and that cost him 1.5 million dollars of his hard earned profits.

Mike told me over a year later he still thinks about it at least once a day what he could have done with that money. Help family and friends… Build a school for children in a 3rd world country…. geez…

But like most bad ass serial entrepreneurs Mike figured out how to turn his experience into an incredible positive.

He created a service that completely prevent people from ever ending up in his shoes. Honestly I can’t believe someone has not thought of this yet.

The website is called Pay People Online and its pretty hot. Right now its 100% free to use.

The way it works is you upload your payment file to it… then if it does not have someones electronically filed 1099 on record it emails them and tells them they need to complete it in order to get paid. Once this is done it lets you know.

For users who use PayPal Mass Payment files (like 99% of us) its even easier. You just upload your mass pay file to it, it then checks to see if it has 1099’s on file and if not emails people and lets them know they need to fill it out to get paid, then spits you back out a payment file for people you DO have 1099’s on.

Slick eh? I really like this site and I think its going to turn out to be worth MUCH more then the 1.5 Million that it cost Mike to have an epiphany about this much needed service.

I say it all the time adversity is opportunity and this is a classic example of just that.

Look, I may have the strength and good looks of two men, but I am only one man. There’s only so much I can do on a blog that makes no money, and there’s only so much I can keep up with in this industry before I have to ignore it and focus on shit that is actually important. Not that there is a lack of complete bullshit or anything, but it really is a full time job – trying to keep writing new posts and be funny.

If you ever seen that Futurama episode where they went to the Slurm factory, then I kinda feel like Slurms McKenzie.

I’m not retiring or anything, just don’t expect PPC.bz to be your lord and savior. If I feel inspired to write something and it’s going to be funny I’ll do it. The problem is coming up with ideas and shit, then spending hours writing the posts, blah blah blah it’s actually a lot of work to please you people.

Speaking of which if you ever have an idea for a post, or a good inside story, or something you want to get out there, hit up barman [at] ppc dot bz. Don’t get me wrong – I’m not begging for post ideas like other bloggers, I’m just saying if you want a venue for some shit that is funny or drama-filled, holler.

Other blogs

Pro Tip: If you are spending more than 20 minutes a week reading blogs then you are wasting your time. I realized this (although i knew it in the back of my head) after I went through over 1,000+ posts that were backed up in my Reader. I spent a few hours skimming the shit and really I would’ve have been better off punching myself in the face and knocking myself out for the same period of time.

Here are some new blogs that are writing quality material that will keep you busy in the meantime.

MrGreen – is some crazy person from the Southern hemisphere that has written some good posts lately. The blog is pretty new, so we’ll see if he keeps up with it or fades away like almost every other blog that had potential.

Riley Pool – keeping it as gangster as much as a white dude can keep it gangster.

ViperChill – writes about SEO and shit like that, long-term big-payday stuff. Quality writing.

Stats are Here

I won’t lie – when I was editing these stats for the post I laughed harder than any other month in recent memory. Quality shit here:

I’m thinking of installing Analytics or something. It seems to me that AWGhettoStats is missing a lot of the search terms.

You can read Wee’s case study here if you’d like.

To get the gist of Wee’s case study, here are his statistics:

Assigned daily budget: $10/day
Total views: 627
Total spend: $7.47
Average daily spend: $0.30

-
Total number of conversions: 0
Net profit/loss: -$7.47

WOAH! WHAT A CASE STUDY! SOMEONE GET ME IN TOUCH WITH A SCIENCE JOURNAL SO WE CAN PUBLISH THESE RESULTS!

So basically Wee did a 2 week case study that made no conversions. If it didn’t make conversions, is it really a case study? Isn’t it like dividing by zero? It’s something that you can’t do.

Let me give you some advice from a semi-experienced PPV marketer.

First off, you might want to stick to only one pop a day. With an average of 45 views a day, this is way too much. Anything over 2-3 views a day can lead to analysis paralysis (when you spend too much time thinking about the data rather than doing.) Having too much data is somethings a bad thing, so stick with what you can put on one page of an Excel document.

If you don’t convert on every single view then you’re obviously doing something wrong.

Second, I don’t get how 6,000+ urls can only yield 45 views day. Wee must have been scraping the anus of the SERPS for targets, because it makes no mathematical sense to me. Maybe because he ran on DirectCPV and it sucks ass? Hopefully they don’t jack this winning campaign from Wee.

Third, with a 30 cent a day spend, Wee is really balling harder than most people reading his case study. I recommend that Wee bring that down a lot, because the most newbs won’t have that much to blow. For PPV to really work, you have to spend a decent chunk of $$ to just gather data and split test everything. If you can’t hang with that 30 cent a day spend then you’re not going to get statistical relevance from your campaigns.

All in all, PPV is really where its at and I look forward to more case studies from Wee. With everyone jumping on PPV, the bidding wars are going to get fierce, so you need to know what you’re doing.

When the next blogger asshole posts his “winning PPV campaign and landing page” and 50 newbies do the same exact campaign, sending bids through the roof, you will have the head start because you are following the true pioneers, one which is Wee.

God have mercy.

Well, besides dropping hot tracks and DJ’ing parties at Affiliate Summit, YTCracker is pretty much the most scientific motherfucker on the planet.

YTCracker is busy winning the space race, and it can be hard to keep up with all the shit that YTCracker is doing in the name of science. So if you need a quick primer on nerdcore, this post is for you.

YTCracker makes nerdy music for nerds. He can be found posting on this forum for nerds. I will admit that I’ve spent at least 32 minutes watching random Nerdysouth videos on Youtube.

Below are videos I cannot get enough of. Some people watch the news…. I just watch these.

G$H – Get Money Ho

Just one of the videos about gettin’ money, ho. Bidet, ya’ll.

YTCracker makes it rain … on city streets

Money LOL

if you haven’t seen this shit by now, kill yourself.

LOL Bunny

Most people don’t like remixes more than the originals, but personally I think this remix is better

I made this post because I am a fan of YTCracker, and that STC, being the greatest, needs some more recognition. Peep game ho.

Are you having trouble deciding if you want to put that offer on your network?

Please use this handy chart for your decision making process.

Stolen from digg but funny.

Did you know that even Adwords was a rip-off?

No you do.

This is Adwords 2.0

I know Nickycakes talked about Nick Throlson before, in his 10 worst blogs post, but I feel like this video deserves some special attention.

If you’re new to affiliate marketing, you can learn a thing or two from Nick Throlson’s video. It is truly full of insight into how this internet thing works. Like if you’re sitting there, pants on the ground, you might be wondering how people can make monies online – obviously everything out there has already been thought of.

So what can you do, lost child, about your mindset to get your paper right? You have to think outside the box. You have to have time to think.

You have to think … in the park.

Some of you people have seen this video before but didn’t quite grasp its genius. This is why I’m writing these notes – so you can get all the juicy information Nick drops on your heads.

Alright bro-ski. We’re gonna talk about full websites versus landing pages. Why? Because that’s a common question among everyone in the industry. We need to know what works better – but different people have different opinions. Let’s analyze Nick’s expertise on the matter.

Here’s what Nick thinks about landing pages.

1. Lot of affiliate marketers don’t know how to make a full website so they
2. Hire someone for 60 bucks. Get an LP Done. Slap it up.
3. Put some offers on them, and review them.
4. Do some PPC.
5. ……
6. $$$$

See this shit is easy!

But! BUT! If you use Wordpress, because it has plugin for SEO, or Jamula for Meta Tags, you can save a lot of time. A lot of that time can be spent making money.

You can build a full website and just make a profit off of it by adding an aWeber form.

Ranking SEO vs Ranking PPC

Nick talks about the reasons why you might want to make a full website, because you can rank it SEO, all while ranking it PPC. What’s the difference between the two? For newbies it might be tough to understand, but if you collect opt-ins you can get a lot better conversions.

Some people here might disagree with Nick Throlson about ranking SEO. I call those people idiots. Nick is an expert in the field so you better know your shit before arguing with his facts.

Which Networks to Work with

Another great tip for newbs. Say you want to start making like $20,000 a day. Which network do you sign up with so you can do that?

Nick recommends only the best networks, which are Hydra, Neverblue, and Market Leverage. Motive Interactive has some hotter offers too. What matters is that these networks treat you like a professional blogger, like if you were already John Chow or Shoemoney.

You see, in this industry, other networks treat you like crap. He might be talking about network.ppc.bz, where they pour hot candle wax on your neck beard when you sign up. These are the type of scoundrels you do not want to do business with.

Get Money Get Paid with Your Own Products

Nick talks about making your own product. He drops a little nugget of info and talks about how he is going to develop some Wordpress plugins.

Why not just be an affiliate and not deal with customers, maintenance, and support?

Well, Nick smartly has new affiliates not putting all their eggs in one basket. This is good advice, because you never know when a niche can die. Like what if Acai berry died? What if the rainforests couldn’t produce any more berries?

That’s why you want to have your own product. Because when something like Res-V dies, you want to fall back on… you know… Wordpress plugins. That’s really where the money is.

Side Note: ResV is pretty hot right now. I know this video is close to 2 years old. But ResV is like anti-aging in a bottle, so that can never get old right?

Networking and Dreaming the Internet

Definitely network. You can go to Meetup202s and find people to outsource to. When you do this affiliate marketing thing, you’re not going to know everything. So to make the monies online you just have to outsource things that you don’t know. You can surround yourself with other likeminded newbs and outsource to a different group at your Meetup.

More important that social interaction, of course, is reading forums. DigitalPoint, Wickedfire – they are all the same. The trick is to absorb it all. Get your mind full of informative posts on these forums. Trust me, you will learn a lot.

This is the best advice in the whole video. From about 4:20 (ironing) is the gold of Nick’s teachings. If you don’t watch the video just watch the clip. If you have watched the video, watch it again from 4:20 on.

Dreaming about these things means you’ll wake up with thoughts like “Woah I should make a landing page for acai berry” or “Woah, everybody is making money on these ringtones!” or “Woah Google Adsense pays you money for clicks? I need to get my friends click on my stuff.”

All great ideas.

You don’t want to be working all of the time. No, fuck that. Productivity is going to kill you fast. You need to spend time reading these forums, so instead of actually getting anywhere with hard work, you just come across a million dollar idea. With a great idea you can just go up to people and ask for investment because the idea is so good and they will give it to you.

So make ideas happen with outsourcing to people you meet at Meetups. Wordpress and Jamula plugins are pretty much the future of making money online. Just make sure your “Donate Here” button is big enough! Split test it! You never know when Zwinkys is going to die because of government regulation.

Oh wait… Affiliate marketing already has it’s Spiderman.

If you are very confused right now, I made a post about some guru dipshit product called Affiliate Punisher recently. Today I noticed a comment from the creator himself. You can read the whole rant here

The part I care about is this –

You got balls, if you really got balls, set up a live webinar for your subscribers, I have no problem showing them affiliate marketing campaigns live, because that’s what I do… “LIVE”

So I want to take him up on his offer. I would like to tell all of the “subscribers” on my “list” about this “underground” “opportunity” from Peter Parks the “guru.”

If we can get enough interested people in the comments, perhaps Mr. Punisher will show us all how he’s making monies online.

Very NSFW

This SuicideGirls video via Nickygates

Anyway…

What the fuck? Why? How the fuck did this shit storm happen?

If you haven’t been following this drama at all, let me paraphrase.

1.) Nickycakes releases a product that does something. It addresses the issue that there are a bunch of no-talent ass clowns who rip landing pages. It will block about 96% of them but anyone with half a brain could get around it.
2.) Uber Affiliate waits in the the shadows for what seems like a year. He probably has cut mark on his wrists to “release the pain” from when Nickycake’s destroyed his UberCamp. Uber makes this thread which exposes a number of holes within Nickycakes’ software.
3.) The Wickedfire Mob gets offended that Nickycakes would sell a product to them. Collecting IPs, not offering a self-hosted version, lack of trust, etc etc etc.
4.) Wickedfire members get sand in their vagina and bash away at their keyboards in a rage from their mothers’ basements. At this point, I have no clue what anyone is arguing about anymore because I don’t fucking care.
5.) There are like 5 threads dedicated to this situation with close to 30,000 views.

You people are acting like Nicky raped your fucking mothers or something. If you don’t like it, don’t buy the fucking product.

If you’re sad your IP got recorded, well YOU GOT GOT!

If you just hate Nickycakes, then you’re probably with 50% of people in this field. Love him or hate him.

If you’re taking great joy in the opportunity to bash Nickycakes, waiting years for this moment after all the shit he talked about people, then you are Uber Affiliate.

Personally, I think Uber is mad that this product didn’t exist when the bid prices for “chat” keywords skyrocketed.

The problem I see with this product, aside from all those issues addressed in the thread, is that it has an incredibly small audience (people who actually make money with affiliate marketing), and it was released like a year too late.

I would have to hire a full time writer to begin to scratch the surface on this drama. I really don’t give a fuck, so if you want to throw in your three cents, go to Wickedfire.

Seriously? Affiliate Punisher? Are you fucking retarded?

For only $1,997 you too, can learn the basics of internet marketing. Learn how to build a list of people interested in making money online (everybody) and then sell them your shit (basically other people’s Guru shit).

I’ve been listening to this video for giggles for the past …. fuck it seems like hour. Affiliate Punisher is a huge crock of shit. If you listen to this, its line after line of after bullshit. Seriously, it’s pretty fucking funny.

This guy wants to show you today (once you buy the product of course)
1) That he was homeless
2) That he made money online jerking off all the other Gurus
3) How to jack other peoples adds, add “killer content” and attract “buyers”
4) 3 “secret” websites that he uses to make monies online. (Probably Google’s research tools, Ebay Pulse, etc etc – shit everyone knows but he is selling for close to 2 G’s)
5) FFFFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!!

I swear to god, affiliate marketing is becoming more and more like MLM everyday.

This will be a bash to remember, and talked about for ages. While it won’t be as scandalous as the first Ad:Tech party we threw, it will be unforgettable.

The Great YTCracker and the Paper Clique will be performing obviously. But new shit has come to light, and we now have the resources to try and acquire a headline performer.

Please vote on who you would like to see perform at the next PPC.bz party. Even if you are not going, your opinion matters. Below are the performers we had in mind, and one of their hits you can check out.

We cannot guarantee anything yet, but we are definitely trying to gauge interest.

Edit: We may add some newer artists based on recommendations. One vote per day.

Edit: ILUVNC should be on a shirt. But only on pink shirts and given to girls. New brand, kind of like FCUK. GO!

Edit 2: Namecheap.com should come up with witty ideas for coupon codes, but then print them on shirts and sell them or give them out, or send them to bloggers. Raise that social branding awareness and shit, while their popularity is growing.

I am enjoying how names like dullspace and yu are in the top 20 at least. It’s gonna be a big nut bust.

But thanks to this tip from pwebbiz, it’s actually fucking true. Peep this document and skim to the last page.

It appears that, looking at the actual FTC Privacy Roundtable site, anyone can apply to be in these roundtables. Knowing Yu, he wants to get his name out there anyway he can, so if it all it takes is an application then he probably got one of his lackeys to do it.

Dear FTC. I know we’ve had our differences. But lets be real here. Do you even do a background check on these people? All you see is someone’s credentials, and figure, “Sure, fuck it, he looks legit.”

Maybe you did your research and realized you have the squeeling pig you’re looking for to rat out the whole industry. In that case, good move FTC. Good move.

If you need motivation to wake up in the morning, like you can’t get out of bed, make this your alarm clock sound. Steven’s motivational “Get a Life” rant will get you out of bed and ready to push F5 as soon as day breaks.

Download the new Guidelines

Don’t get it twisted – these are not laws from the government. They are simply new guidelines that the industry can choose to follow. If everyone is talking about “cleaning up our act,” this 6 page sheet is a good starting point.

The gravy train has passed. Everyone pushed it too far and the industry got a slap on the wrist from the gub-ment (while some face an anal-raping.) Will we ever see a $10 EPC again? Probably not, but you can still stack paper (just maybe not as high as skyscrapers.)

Your move, industry.

Also, the rebill is dead.

Not to get off topic, but what the fuck are they thinking putting all this crap in the bag? There is so much fucking waste that goes on and it provides no value. You think someone is going to sign up to your stupid network because you gave them a non-functioning orange clock or a rubber ball with your name on it?

(I would have more jokes here about the shwag but I threw the bag out. I didn’t want to go over 50lb weight limit for checked bags on my flight home. Take that, environment!)

I threw that fucking rubber ball at John Chow’s iron-flattop and it bounced off and hit Shoemoney in the crotch. That’s all its fucking good for.

Branding = dead. (At least in this industry … your reputation is what matters.)

Anyways, within that tote bag was Shawn Collins book. This book is called Internet Marketing from the Real Experts. If you haven’t skimmed through this book on the shitter by now, let me give you my short book report:

Internet Marketing for Real Experts is a collection of republished articles from Feedfront magazine. Not only does Shawn Collins not really write even a minority of the book, all this book really contains is other peoples content.

That will be all, teacher.

During ASW I caught Shawn Collins at the Rio. The conversation was just random bullshit about how I am the best blog ever, until I called him out on his book. I was in a daze from drinking of course, so I will try to reproduce the conversation as best as possible.

Me: “So dude, you didn’t really write this book.”
Shawn: “Yes I did, my name is on the cover!”
Me: “I know, but it’s just republished garbage from Feedfront.”
Shawn: “Yeah, but I’m in the book.”
Me: “But you didn’t write it. You’re more of an editor.”
Shawn: “It doesn’t matter. Do you know how impressed clients get when you bring in a book with your name on it? No one ever reads the book, but they see the cover and my name is on it.”
Me: ” … ”
Shawn: “Clients eat that shit up. Usually it’s way over their heads so they don’t read it. All that matters is that I’m the author and I have a book.”
Me: “Genius, Collins. Genius.”

So what’s the lesson here? Leverage other peoples shit and republish content with your own spin on it. It works on the web and apparently, works in print. Now Collins has a book selling like hot-cakes on Amazon so he can walk around slapping potential clients with the softcover. Learn from this.

JUELZ.

DIP.

SET.

If you are on a forum, perhaps one that contains a lot of other people in your industry, then it would be wise of you to move your conversation to AIM, Skype or Phone. This is especially true if your industry deals in the occasional gray area.

I can guaran-fuckin-tee that your private messages are being read. Talk business elsewhere.

I arrived in Vegas on Saturday afternoon. I checked in at the Gold Coast, and while I waited for my room I tore up some Ping Pang Pong on Nickycakes‘ recommendation.

Last year was my first time in Vegas for ASW, and I stayed at the Gold Coast with a bunch of friends and had a blast. This year I checked in and realized that the novelty of staying at one of the most ghetto hotels in Vegas has worn off. You could entertain yourself for hours just sitting on the Gold Coast casino floor, people-watching the degenerates of society. You could probably shoot up heroin on the floor and no one would care.

Saturday Night Adventures

I wanted to dedicate a day to gambling, which would be Texas Hold’em cause that is all I play. I got into a $150+$20 Multi-table tournament with like 85 people. First place was a little over $4,000 which looked juicy. Unfortunately I busted out 12th or so, right on the bubble. This was quite unfortunate because I realized I wasted like 5 hours of my life for nothing. Fuck you Vegas.

After that, I met up with the one and only Dullspace. Dullspace snags up bottle service at Toa nightclub, which was packed as fuck but the drinks were flowing. When it was time to bounce out of there, Dullspace had a full bottle of Grey Goose which I attempted to sneak out for him.

Unfortunately I got busted, and had to dispose of the Grey Goose or pour it into another container. That container was a plastic cup. Drunk as fuck at this point, we offered Grey Goose shots to random pedestrians, who, needless to say at, were not too ecstatic about being offered expensive beverages from a plastic cup. Even the cab-driver to the Palms didn’t want to take a shot. Unscientific.

If you have been to the Palms, you know it has a McDonalds, and this is one of the few places to grab food at this time of night (nearing 4 AM). When our time to order comes up, Dullspace whips out his black card and buys out the McDonalds. All they had left was 50 chicken nuggets, which wasn’t too much, but it was enough to piss off the 20 or so customers behind us who quickly realized there was no food for them.

Proof:

After downing 20 chicken nuggets or so, it was time to call it a night.

PPC.bz / NickyCakes / Neverblue / Plenty of Fish Party

Sunday night was the night of the Affiliate Summit Parties. There were many, but only one involved the Paper Clique.

Props to Neverblue for setting up everything from start to finish. All Barman and Nickycakes had to do was invite people and say “hey we having a party” – the rest of the work was done by Neverblue.

Unfortunately, getting Playboy bunnies to walk around half-nude or putting an Acai Berry Jell-o wrestling pit together was out of the question. Corporate overlords, what can I say?

That would’ve evened out the girl guy ratio no doubt, but if you have been to these parties before then you know they are male-dominated. Just accept these facts and move on with your life. We be nerds and we were hear to see nerd-core music.

YTCracker, Rob Hustle and Mic DaVice Hold it Down

Freestyles from Rob Hustle and Mic DaVice, and YT Cracker on the 1’s and 2’s – dream come true son!

There were many fans of these all-stars in attendance and they were very please. If you were into nerd-rap before, you are now.

YTCracker can spin like an animal and held the music down. He also performed his classic hits like on my starship and lol money money lol

Rob Hustle and Mic DaVice are simply the Kings of Freestyle. Tell them one thing to rap about and you have 16 bars, all off the top of the dome.

YTCracker

Rob Hustle – Kiss the Chain

Mothafuckin’ Mic DaVice

Mic DaVice and Rob Hustle

Winkie, Eleah, Nickycakes, Barman, Amber

Check out the flickrstream from AdRants for more pictures from our party, and the other Affiliate Summit shenanigans. Dude has picture-taking skills.

Moar pics from Neverblue

Honorable Mention

Meeting Fans of PPC.bz

It is truly amazing how many people enjoy PPC.bz. Out of all the blogs you can read, it’s non-stop “You’re the only blog worth reading” to “I love you” to “Here, have some free drugs.” I guess we keeps it real.

Texas de Brazil

Before the party, Neverblue took us out to Texas de Brazil. I never dined at a Brazilian restaurant before, but this was some of the best food I’ve eaten in years. Highly-recommended.

Shawn Collins, Actually Cool

I ran into Shawn Collins for a few minutes while grabbing lunch. I never met him before and did not know what to expect. It turns out he is funny as fuck. Expect some guest-posting from PPC.bz in Feedfront magazine to bring up the quality of that magazine.

Sorry Shawn, I only spent 10 minutes on the conference floor. There’s only so much pitching from networks you can handle.

Lapdances with Circa

The Spearmint Rhino. It’s quite the experience. Words really can’t describe how great this place is. Even though I’m not a fan of strip clubs in general, the Spearmint Rhino is on a whole other level.

Some of you were dying to get even a picture with Circa, while Barman was getting lap dances with him at 5 in the morning.

The Rebill is Dead

RIP Rebill 2009. This was the underlying theme of the conference. Rebills are dead guys. It was fun while it lasted, so let’s move onto promoting cost-per-sale with 5% commissions at Amazon.

Overall, Affiliate Summit Vegas 2010 was a great time. If I make it to 2011, I expect to stay 4 or 5 nights instead of the usually 3. There is just so much shit to do you can’t pack it into 72 hours.

Holla at me if you got stories or pictures or video. Barman [at@] ppc.bz.

The main point of our PPC Classroom post is that affiliates aren’t getting paid and no one is buying that shit. Amit admitted it himself in the leaked convo. Amit himself said PPC Classroom is going down the shitter.

Amit does not address that fact at all in the post – just defends himself and his Adwerdz skills, which is fine – but yo, I’m just saying …

But first, let us give a shout out to the sponsors who put the funds up for that PPC.bz / Cakes party on Saturday night:

Neverblue is scientific. <- Sign up

Ads.POF.com <- Get Traffic

Ryan D. Johnson dies in House Fire

Johnson was a 20-year-old graduate of Cuyahoga Falls High School with a reputation as a computer wizard when he paid $933,000 for a Granger Road home in bath Township that was listed at $1.1 million.

Two years after the purchase, police reports indicated Johnson had done $100,000 damage to the 4,200-square-foot house.

According to court documents, police responded to the address numerous times. In the spring of 2004, police reported he smashed a 2-month-old Volkswagen Gbc cq Gec Touareg through the security gate of his house, plowed the car into a tree then beat it with golf clubs and boulders.

They also found a Mercedes SL500 parked in Yellow Creek under a bridge next to the house.

The next day, Johnson drove the Touareg into the creek because, ‘‘It’s my birthday,’’ he told police. The vehicles were worth more than $100,000, police said.

He was admitted to St. Thomas Hospital on physician’s orders following the incident, a township official said at the time.

Johnson, who was still smashing the SUV when police arrived, said he did it in an effort to prove to his ex-girlfriend that money meant nothing to him.

In April 2004, a neighbor called police and signed a warrant against Johnson for turfing backyards behind a Wye Road house.

The next day, police found him breaking windows and beating his living room walls with a sledge hammer.

In May 2005, Johnson was declared incompetent to stand trial on a charge of contempt of court. In June, a judge ordered him to receive 60 days of inpatient care for mental illness.

A 2005 motion for foreclosure against the Granger Road property stated Johnson owed more than $200,000 in delinquent mortgage payments, interest and back taxes.

In 2007, the house, built in 1991, was subsequently sold in a sheriff’s sale for $380,000, according to court records.

Johnson, who said he ‘‘always worked with computers’’ in a news article about the purchase of the house, refused to divulge his annual income. He said he made money designing Web sites and Internet advertising.

I didn’t know this guy, but chances are a few people who read this site did.

R.I.P Homey.

Full Article

The science drops around 1:00 into it. Straight wisdom from this motherfucker. Watch all of it. Carefully.

This is a story about PPC Classroom. It’s some newbie PPC coaching shit run by two guys. One person is Amit Mehta, who has a fancy “crib” in Boston somewhere. The other guy, who is less known, is actually the owner of it, and his name is Anik Singal. You would think Amit actually owned it with all the promotion he does for it, but you are wrong. He is just an affiliate / partner.

Make sure to remember the difference between these people because it is important. If you want to entertain yourself with the PPC Classroom sales page, you can read it here: PPCC

PPC.bz has more inside sources than the CIA, so I am always getting e-mails from people with leaked conversations, stories, and all types of shady drama. This is one such instance of juicy inside information. This is direct from an inside source at PPC Classroom.

The charlatans in this industry are everywhere you look. I have a problem with PPC Classroom because it charges people close to $100 a month for information that doesn’t teach them shit. It’s all bullshit. Newbies sign up thinking they will see instant riches, but get led down the road to failure. There are some many over-hyped, bullshit products in this space it is near impossible to find anything worth buying.

It’s all fucking hype and very little substance, and products like these fleece people for their hard-earned dollars they made working the manager’s position at Burger King.

I hate “Gurus” PPC Classroom is going under, but we’ll save that part for the end of this post.

Let’s get this road on the show!

Amit Doesn’t Actually Know Adwords

How does someone who doesn’t actually know Adwords going to teach people about … Adwords? I don’t fucking know.

Source says: Amit only had like 2 successful campaigns. One was a regcure campagin, and one was public records. Thats it. I saw inside his Adwords account and it was a complete joke. He basically got REALLY lucky. I mean he had adgroups and keywords stuck all over the place. It looked like some total newbs account, basically nothing like anything he teaches.

PPC Classroom has survived this long without being exposed for the shit that it is because they hire “coaches.” Coaches are just regular people that get paid by PPC Classroom to be active on the forum, help people, and all that shit. Do you think Amit is spending his day with hands newbie-hand-holding? No.

Granted, Amit did cash in on Adwords. This is nothing to scoff at. But the fact that he is leveraging this luck into a coaching program is the crock of shit.

It’s comparable to writing a “How to win big playing slot machines!” book. Do you think Amit ever told people what he was promoting so they can make money “Step-by-step” like he was doing? Fuck no.

Inside source says: “We would have webinars, etc and he wouldn’t be able to answer questions from students about somewhat basic stuff.”

Amit has no doubt made money pushing Guru snake oil than he ever had made with Adwords.

Now you may be bugging out thinking I’m a dickhead for outing his niches. See the next section.

Amit Got Banned from Adwords. Twice.

Amit is already running his mouth, teaching people how to not get banned from Adwords. Motherfucker, you got banned twice!

Direct from leaked convo:

Amit says: “I got banned twice. Every affiliate site I put up is getting slammed!”

Full. Of. Shit.

PPC Classroom Sells Out Its Students

This is nothing earth shattering. If you have a group of buyers you want to upsell them, mail them, whatever you can to squeeze out the pennies from their wallets.

So any time a new guru shit head product comes out, the PPC Classroom people get their customers to buy that shit so they can earn a handsome affiliate commission.

Inside source says: “So they made $700k from the Google Cash Detective Lanuch. Basically Amit hyped it for all he could and ALL the students bought into it. Well, obviously a month later when the students still hadn’t made any money they were all pissed…then Amit came out and was like…”oh you don’t really need that.”

It’s one big Guru circle jerk.

PPC Classroom had False Testimonials

Inside source says: On their latest launch they had fake testimonials. I think they took them down now but several of the testimonials were from the COACHES, not students of PPC Classroom. They (testimonials) said how Amit helped them earn millions, etc…just flat out lying.

They had a director of education who was basically in charge of teaching students and overseeing coaches and she had never done any affiliate marketing herself. I really don’t think he (Anik) is an affiliate. He doesn’t seem to know wtf he is doing except for wearing aligator shoes.

Nuff said?

PPC Classroom is Going Under – Not Paying Its Affiliates

This is the real story. The shit up there was just trash talking Amit. Don’t put yourself out there if you don’t want some blow-back. He’ll live.

The bigger story is about Anik Singal. Apparently he is not a popular cat.

The parent company of PPC Classroom is Lurn.com, and word on the street is that they are going under. The conversation below Is between Amit himself and our insider, talking about the their PPC Classroom woes.

Amit: Lurn is on the verge of bankruptcy. They haven’t paid affilaites since September, and now they’re delaying my payments.
Insider: What happened to the company?
Amit: I have no idea, but they screwed me by not paying affiliates. No one was motivated to promote PPC Classroom 3.0
Insider: I got a weird vibe from Anik when I met him, like he could be shady or something.
Amit: LOL. He’s not doing anything shady. He likes openly SCREWING People.
——-
Insider: Does he owe them (affiliates) a lot of money?
Amit: Yes. His company is cash strapped.
Insider: I’m surprised affiliates haven’t complained publicly about it yet. Maybe they will.
Amit: They stop promoting. Good thing you left when you did.
Insider: Did the company just grow too fast or did he just spend too much money?
Amit: spent WAY too much, and every launch after Feb PPC Classroom 2.0 BOMBED
Insider: lol what will happen to the other coaches? They gonna get paid?
Amit: I don’t know man. it’s BAD
Insider: That’s ugly ….
Amit (posting an email from PPC Classroom):

“Hi Amit, sorry I did not respond as we have been swamped after the holidays. You have been very patient with payments and we really appreciate it. As you know the market has sucked and things have really slowed.

We are working on new sales initiatives, which are already starting to help. However, we have a backlog of commissions (back to September) that have not been paid.

I am hoping that you can help us and be patient for 30 days or so so we can sort all of this out.

Things are improving every day but I would like to prioritize Affiliate payments for a while or our sales will decline further. Let me know if we need to talk about this more but I assure you there is no concern of not getting paid, we just are in catch up mode right now.”

Lessons Learned

Are there any lessons to learn here? I don’t fucking know.

One thing is for sure – if you are a newbie then you need to not fall for this shit. If you spend your hours and minutes anticipating the latest Guru info product, you’re going to be spinning in circles forever. The majority of these programs are straight-up, crocks of shit. None of this shit is going to make you rich retard.

And if you promote PPC Classroom you better stop cause you’re not going to get paid.

Another thing is that affiliate networks hate these guru products. They get flooded with a bunch of newb-tards that have no idea what they are doing. Not only that, but a bunch of fraud applications to deal with as well.

Game. Set. Match.

But for the rest of us, comes a product from the depths of As Seen on TV, which can only be called the Greatest Invention Ever. If every woman on the planet owned one of these, I think the collective weight of breasts throughout the world would increase by several million pounds.

If only Billy Mays were alive to promote this. R.I.P

He was interviewing my friend Steven Wagenheim, and I just had to call in and talk to him!

It is a program created by the infamous Amish Shah and the ever-so-elusive Jay Styles. Who are these two men of mystery? While I have never met Amish in person nor smoked a blunt with Jay Styles, I always thought they were legit. That said, once you release a Guru info product, your job is done and PPC.bz has to make fun of you.

What is the Magic Bullet System?

I talk to Jay Styles a lot, and he is usually baked out of his mind. He says “This is the hottest shit ever released”. I asked him why he would sell this product when he could just use it himself, and he goes “It’s easier to sell 500 copies for $3k to newbies versus the work in creating these campaigns yourself.”

Makes sense.

So I used adwerdz to search for the Magic Bullet and the result can be found on the right.

Now you may be thinking – “How the fuck will this make a newbie like me money?”

How does the Magic Bullet System work?

After looking over my Magic Bullet review copy, I couldn’t figure out how it worked? What does it do and how does it apply to making money online?

I asked Amish and Jay Styles why they are selling this product to newbies if it doesn’t work. But they told me the secret to how it works – which I will now lay out in detail here.

Stick it up Frank Kern’s ass

In order to get your Magic Bullet System to work properly, you must first stick it up Frank Kern’s ass. If you don’t know who Frank Kern is, he is the master of selling false hope to people new to internet marketing. His list of suckers… err… customers is so big, if Frank Kern even whispers your products name in bed you will have instant riches.

How do you get your own “goose that laid the golden egg?” You have to find Frank Kern, and stick it up his ass. Leave it up there for about 30 seconds and your Magic Bullet is good to go.

Once you stick it up Frank Kern’s ass, all of the other top guru salesmen in the industry will follow. John Reese, Amit Mehta, John Chow, and all those other scumbags… err salesmen – just stick it up their asses!!!

Anyway, Magic Bullet promises to do pretty much everything from click to sale in the CPA marketing space. Just push a button and your shit is set.

1. Sit down at computer.
2. Put your favorite fruits and mixes into your Magic Bullet.
3. Push button.
4. ….
5. Profit!

Actual Magic Bullet System Testimonials

‘I used the Magic Bullet system & i got food poisening & i couldn’t afford my medical bills… after that i got the motivation to get off my ass and now i make a solid $xx.xx a day. thank you Jay Style’ — 012

‘I use the Magic Bullet to get the bitches in bed. You see, since I’m such a baller I always have chicks over. They are like you got something to drink? Then im like bam bitch i’ll make some margaritas in my Magic Bullet. After 6 or 7 they are drunk out of their minds and I just slam their hoochies’ – circa

‘i copied someone’s campaigns 100% jacked their pages & ads… they bashed in my face with a baseball bat. now due to magic bullet system i can now eat my food. the smoothies it makes are just awesome.’ – coop

‘I do payday loans and fuck people over for 450% APY. The Magic Bullet smoothies help me sleep at night’ -jonny

Edit: What if i didn’t get the joke?

The joke here is that there is already a product called the Magic Bullet that makes smoothies and shit. It also looks like a fat dildo. So that is where the ass joke comes from.

Do not actually attempt to stick anything up Kern’s body parts cause I think he knows Kung Fu and shit. Also I will promise to stop making fun of Kern in the future if he 1) smokes us out at ASW 2) tells me his secrets to those flowing blonde locks of his.

In addition, Amish’s Magic Bullet is legit (as far as info products go) so buy it if you got $3k to throw around. No affiliate link