Beat Your Meat with Slap Happy

Hey Kids! Are you tired of pounding your pud with those rough hands of yours, turning your purple-headed yogurt slinger into red and sore tool of the devil? Well, beating off with friction, be gone, because now you can order Slap Happy!

All these years you’ve thought to yourself, “Man, chocking the chicken just isn’t as fun as it used to be. It feels more like a chore than any kind of pleasure or enjoyment. I wish buffing my banana made me smile.”

With Slap Happy Cream, polishing the chrome dome can be fun again! Rub one out in style, because Slap Happy Cream provides hours of pleasure. It smells deliciously sexy, and it has a creamy and smooth feel. You can now slam the hammer multiple times a day without the rosy palms and sorer cock. It won’t irritate your cyclops, and it won’t clog your pores when you spread the mayo.

Think you couldn’t beat your record of tenderizing the meat 5 times in one day? With Slap Happy Cream, you will destroy your records when you tickle your pickle. You can easily wax the weasel in double digits each and every day.

Skip lunch, it’s time to milk the monkey! Call out of work, it’s time to have a one-man tug of war! The girlfriend wants to go out on Friday night? Screw that, we’re gonna yank the crank with Slap Happy Cream!

If you order now, you’ll get 2 FREE Bottles. So even with our minimum order of buying 4 bottles means you’ll get half a dozen bottles of Slap Happy Cream to grease your pipe with. Give yourself a pat on the back when you hack the hog, ham the shank, and take a shake break with Slap Happy Cream!

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