Barman and the rest of the PPC.bz crew will be touching down in Vegas tomorrow for this year’s Affiliate Summit West. If you can’t find shit to do at aff summit, let alone Las Vegas, then you need to kill yourself.
That said, here is some shit to do and things to know while you blow your money wad (and your real wad) during the 3 days of the conference:
Fun Activities
Start a Ryan Eagle Chant – If you can get a crowd of drunk affiliate marketers to chant “Money Hoes Cars Clothes” then you are full of win.
Step to Eli’s Posse – Apparently Eli is rolling around Vegas with a posse of 100 or so aff marketers. Don’t worry, they’re all fat, pudgy, and likely to run out of breath quickly. Start shit with his posse then take off giggling like a little school girl.
Dickroll someone In Real Life – “Hey did you see this new Iphone App?” :: hands over the phone :: YOU SPIN ME RIGHT ROUND BABY RIGHT ROUND “FUCK YOU!”
Battle Dullspace, Von Doogan, or Rob Hustle in a Freestyle – If you got the skills to step to the kings of the affiliate rap game, do it up Rabbit style.
Essential Things to Do
Participate in the scavenger hunt – Especially number 3
Put on the PPC.bz Jams – Before you even get to the conference, you need to load up your MP3 thingermaginger with the PPC.BZ Soundtrack. Rock this shit on the plane really loudly, and the stewardess will be all up in your lap!
Fuck Your Twitter
While other people will be updating their twitter every ten seconds to show people how famous they are, I will not be using it. I want to stab twitter in the face. It’s probably for the best too because if there was a ppc.bz twitter we’d be sending people on wild goose chases, to gay bars, and to jon’s room at 5 AM.
Juice (8)
Hillary (4)
Robert Hughes (4)
1cent (3)
Steve (3)
TupacsGhost (3)
affended (2)
bry (2)
conv3rsion (2)
Lenin Govea (2)
wtf is a twitter?
what the fuck is a firelead?
what da fawk is a Von Doogan
MONEY
HOES
CARS
CLOTHES
It’s a lifestyle.
I fucking haaaaaaaaate Twitter!!! It was definitely made by a stalker.
Im in Sydney and wont be attending. However Im still going to chant ‘Money Hoes Cars Clothes’ to myself over and over
Somehow I ended up at the 25 dollar blackjack tables at the Encore with Ryan Eagle. I loved every minute of it.
I lost all of my blackjack winnings by throwing it all on black next door on a roulette wheel. You know, trynna be a baller and all?
The wheel spinner guy chuckled — yes, CHUCKLED — when I put $32 worth of chips down as my bet. The ball fell violently on red and broke my heart into tiny little pieces.
What can we learn from this?
Well that baccarat is the obvious way to go of course!
Okay so I dickrolled my business parter. Not an old man to call me an ass hole… and I touched Ryan Eagles shoulder…
MONEY
HOES
CARS
CLOTHS
I saw the giant fucking line at the meet market and said fuck that and went back to my room and fell asleep.
Eli consumes more alcohol in the quarter mile than a rail dragster.