I really, really wanted to join Affiliate Jump so this article would have some research behind it. But fuck it. I’ve written reviews of other products before, such as PPC Classroom, with nothing but my imagination (it’s not hard to imagine what these products contain) and a Fifth of Jack (it really gets the curse words going) that were instant hits.
At the time of writing this, Affiliate Jump was “sold out.” I don’t know what the fuck that means for an affiliate network, but I thought the whole goal of this gimmick was that anybody could get in? What the fuck is it closed for? Could it be that it blows donkey dick, and they closed it down to prevent further pain and suffering to their brand? Why yes, yes it is.
Mike Filsaime Gets People to Pay Him so He Can Fuck Them. Genius!
If you don’t know who Mike Filsaime is, don’t fret. He is the man who figured out how to completely dominate the “Make Money Online” niche with his rehashed information products and JV’s and mailing lists and what have you. Say what you want about this scammer fuck, but he is a genius marketer.
Anyway, the hot new shit from Mike Failsaime is Affiliate Jump, a CPA network that is some way revolutionary. How is it revolutionary? Have you ever joined a CPA network that you had to pay for? No? Well, now you can.
Really? I don’t care if the network tickles your balls when you get accepted, I’m not paying to get in. Most people join networks and never run a single offer. Who in their right mind would pay for the privilege of doing nothing?
Warrior Forum Members Wise Up, Then Get Shut Down
This is the juicy bit of the story. Affiliate Jump sucks. A retarded monkey with four missing fingers can tell you with sign language that it sucks ass. But what’s even more amazing is that people even dumber than retarded monkeys, also know as Warrior Forum members, are on to the ruse and are up in arms on their Warrior Forum. The fucked up part is that the monkey slave kings up top (Filsaime, Howie Shwartz… those are the only 2 I can think of, but I’m sure they all circle jerk each other. You get the idea… they’re the ones that create this newbie bullshit) have managed to get these threads deleted.
Imagine, people so dumb they pay to get fucked, finally realizing their stupidity and getting silenced! This is an outrage, you members of the mentally challenged! Stand up for your rights!
Anyway, with all of these threads being deleted, it’s hard to get the scoop on Affiliate Jump. I had to visit Warrior Forum :: shudder :: to do my research, and fortunately one thread has survived and others are cached. Here’s one from someone who might not be a retard. What he’s doing on Warrior Forum is beyond me. Maybe he hasn’t heard of CPA Hustle?
Here’s a line from one tard who took years to finally realize he was being fleeced:
All I know is over the years I have fallen time after time for some really good sales pages. Luckily now I always wait awhile and read unbiased reviews for this reason.
The Worst Paying Offers
It’s clear from various sources that the offers are brokered through other affiliate networks, not direct. The word is that they payouts are garbage, and anyone that’s ever looked at affiliate offers in a network knows that Affiliate Jump is FLEECING people on CPA. Not that it matters though, as their top affiliate will never produce more than 7 leads a year.
$20 a lead for Acai? The network is making more than the affiliate on the offer. The affiliate is paying to be part of the network.
Please god make it stop, the laughing hurts too much.
No Affiliate Managers
We love our affiliate managers. We bust their balls but they are the oil that greases the wheels on the short bus.
You’d think that a network full of newbies would require some hand-holding. But because Mike Filsaime is a genius, he knew that any staff would be pestered to death with questions from these retards. So he decided, “Fuck it! Why have staff?” CHA-CHING NO PAYROLL!
People submit support tickets and haven’t heard responses in days. Now that’s some acai berry rebill service!
Accepting Degenerates, Drunks, Hadjis, Nigerian Royalty and skeevy Russians
BlackHat World members too!
The selling point of this network is that they accept anyone. With so much fraud and sketchiness in this shady industry, you’d think they want to at least see if the applicant was from Nigeria. Nope. Everyone come in! It’s an orgy and Mike’s spreading the herpes!
This is just part of Filsaime’s master plan of having no staff. Why train people on how to interview applicants? :: counts money ::
A Video from Your Typical Guru Ballswinger
Here’s a video I found from your typical Guru ballswinger. It doesn’t matter what shit Filsaime spews, these assholes will eat it up like it’s the Gospel of Jesus. Mike Filsaime could take a shit on the floor, and these kinds of assholes will be the ones that pick it up with a napkin, put in their pocket, have it sit there for 4 hours while waiting for public transportation, and then sell it as a WSO when they get to a computer. Just look at the first reply to this thread.
I love how this guy says someone can waste “5, 6 days” waiting on a response from an affiliate network. Then they find out they didn’t get in, and that week of their life has been wasted. I guess because they applied and spent the rest of their time posting on Warrior Forum that they applied, they must have been “working” and all that time was for naught.
But Wait, There’s More!
Up until this point, Mike Filsaime has raped these people and punched them in the nuts. But now he is fucking their cold, lifeless bodies as their families watch – see the following:
Broken Links Galore – Many offers have broken links and redirect to smiley central. This is what happens when Nigerians view US offers… they get sent to Smiley Central
No Affiliate Links – You don’t actually have affiliate links, you have “website builders.” You create subdomains for your offers than promote that link. No testing and tracking.
Free Websites / Hosting – What this means is that you do not link to a landing page. You link to your “Free Hoste Website” But YOU JUST PAID TO GET INTO THE NETWORK HOW IS FREE?!
The Best Fucking Part
The “landing pages” do not have Credit Card forms. They squeeze the user’s email first before they are sent to a payment form. This means that someone on the backend is collecting a fat (fat is relative in this case) e-mail list while the affiliate gets fucked with this additional step added to the conversion funnel.
Is this not absolute genius? Is this not the ultimate raping and pillaging of the weak and naive? Kudos Mike. Kudos.
How this product even came into existence is a testament to Mike Filsaime’s marketing prowess. This is absolute shit, and people are gobbling it up. There is hope though… many Warrior Forum members are revolting against this horseshit, and many more will (from the comfort of their mom’s basement).
I’m crossing my fingers that this completely destroys Mike Filsaime’s reputation and he is never able to sell another product again. Pray with me people! May the Lord strike him down with a case of the shingles!
Affiliate Jump brings the CPA industry 4 steps back, over a cliff, then gets it hit by a bus. The only great thing about this is that retards at Warrior Forum and Digital Point will get turned off to the CPA model. They will go back to their adsense sites which I can then advertise on. Publish my content bitches! :: Cracks whip!:: HYAH!
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Brilliant why didn’t I think of this. You know who the perfect user base for is?
Bizopp buyers :)
You’re just jealous of his landing page.
http://mybestberry.health303.com/
I love your posts. Had me in stitches from “hello”.
Absolute geniu, rape in very hole from the moment they sign up.
Great post. I had a bunch of profound shit to say, but who cares. Never cease to be amazed by people on both sides. I laughed when I read it and it made my hangover feel better, thanks.
Man that was entertaining!
Do you do birthday parties?
when I saw 20$ payouts, man serious members are paying to join and your not even giving TOP payouts.
@Ian
Does it even fucking matter when you can’t track your shit? LOL
Have you noticed how none of the other “guru’s” promoted his shit? Notice how he’s becoming a loaner from the “group”.
Huh, wonder why?
Zach
CpaHustle Approved!! That shit was funny as hell.
@Zach
WTF are you talking about?
http://www.affiliatejump.com/jvblog/
PS: It’s “loner”, not “loaner”
I’ll paypal you $5 to buy a dictionary.
And a clue.
I can’t stand that fucking scammer.
Good write up!
Mike has been out of the trenches for years and its blatantly starting to show. This is bonafide proof that Internet Politics is alive and well these days.
Last year Filsaime came out with a product called Review Crusher. It was like $2,000 and doesn’t do a fraction of what a word press blog with some decent plugins would do.
Brian Garvin
This shits to funny.
aNDREW WEE GONE FUCK U UUUUUPPPP
Barman dose it again, I expect nothing less! I can’t quit laughing, the tears are running down my face. I just had my coffee and this post just sped up my morning constitutional! Damn you barman, I just got comfortable!! brb
Two things I’d like to say:
1.) For months I was in a group that bowed at Mike’s feet. I couldn’t stand his stuff and thought he was a scammer. Their reasoning was “If he’s a such a scammer, why does he make so much money?”
Obviously, he does it by being a “good” scammer. LOL
2.) First time I’ve ever heard of, seen, or read this blog. I’ve just fallen in love. They need more people like you!!!!
Keep it up – although I know people like you NEVER stop. :)
BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA…. I know – Genius, right? Bahahahahahaha suckas.
Someone please help me!!!!!!
He locked me in the house with no food and has disappeared on a carribean cruise! With everyones affiliate jump fees!
I’m down to my last biscuit :(
The post above was NOT made by me. It’s an imposter! If you don’t believe me then I can prove I’m the real Mike Filsaime.
I like Cock.
There.
wtf! is world coming to an end, never thought you would pay to get in to a network.
Well ya know, Frank Kern promoted Affiliate Jump, too.
About 2 years ago, I shot a video showing how I
made a few bucks messing around with CPA stuff.
This was before CPA was “cool”.
Anyway, in the video I told people what CPA network
I was using and told them how to sign up. (For free).
Well, so many people went to sign up as affiliates that
the network started REFUSING new applications.
I couldn’t believe it.
But it turns out this is kind of a common practice with
CPA networks.
If you’re not a “big time marketer”, they often won’t take
you as an affiliate.
Weird.
—————————————————
WELL, I SAY “TO HELL WITH THOSE GUYS”
—————————————————
Now there’s a CPA network that’s pretty much taylor
made for folks who are just starting out.
It’s at http://www.AffiliateJump.com
The cool thing about AffiliateJump is that they give
you your own domain, hosting, and even set up your website
when you’re a member.
Their “official” opening is tomorrow but you can get
some really good (and free) training reports and videos
from them today at their main site which is here:
http://www.AffiliateJump.com
Enjoy:-)
Frank
P.S. I have some new stuff coming out in a few days that
I think you’ll like.
Stay tuned!
YEP!
Saw it coming a mile away.. Affiliate Jump is an old product actually.. I was invited to their affiliate program in 2007..
Mike comes in.. puts a marketing spin on it.. and scams everyone ..
Here’s what’s worse than that..
3 years ago – I was developing a product that people could place their reports and affiliates could brand their affiliate link in..
Any author or any expert could do it..
Well – someone MIKE FILSAIME picked up on this.. and copied it to a “T”.. even used the same wording that I used in my descriptions..
Here’s another interesting bit..
I had a product 6 or 7 years ago called Instant Affiliate Website.. I sold a butload of these websites offline to the offline world..
And who registers that domain name and copies it exactly..
You guessed it..
Oh, are we not allowed to talk about Frank Kern here? That was the email he sent promoting it.
okay, whatever, dude.
My bad whack-a-mole, I took your comment for a sales pitch.
no worries….I could see how by the way I posted it. lol
Ahahahaaaa
Off with his fuckin head!
A reader here said that he was laughing so hard, tears were forming.
I got him beat. … I broke a rib.
Thanks for that fucking great write up!
John Reese and Eben Pagan can be added on to the, “Look, shit really can talk” list.
YOu had me in hysterical fits im calling the ambulance for oxygen masks everything you have said about mike is soo true i am a warrior full member and i feel blessed i have spoken to talked to people who have more sense then this
i have been doing for a few months now Real CPA had enough of people like howy scrots or mike filsane contacting me by email air post! fik they even ring me with some monkey of telesales asking me pay them xxxx amounts to do some naff course which i refuse, its about time in our industry we have a revolution that shows the truth about these people
This write up on the award winning snake oil pimp Mike Filsaime should be on video. This article will make a good laugh on video.
More to your post,
1- I was the one the first blew the lid on Mike Filsaime Affiliate Jump BS.
2-People should understand that Mike Filsaime is a professional sales man all his life. He started as a sales Man at a Honder place in New York before getting into Internet Marketing, That’s why he continues to deceive a lot of Go Happy A ffiliates who simply would not learn. They love to be scammed & i don’t give a fuck about their plight b’cos they are a set of morons who converge at Warrior Forums throwing Hail Mary with any stupid programs that land it’s pages on Warrior Forum. Mike Filsaime knows that you are desperate so he will keep collecting millions of DOLLARS from your sick A-ss.
This past January or February i saw one Video of Mike Filsaime boosting that he will make $10,000,000M this year. I hope i can still see that video & use it to remind folks of what they are getting into.
People should be careful & stop loosing money from these snake oil pin heads
Well, when talking about the SCAMS of the century that is a big deal to me…
I still dont value SCAMS.
Amazingly good blog post – hilarious, too!
My favorite line:
“Affiliate Jump sucks. A retarded monkey with four missing fingers can tell you with sign language that it sucks ass. But what’s even more amazing is that people even dumber than retarded monkeys, also know as Warrior Forum members, are on to the ruse and are up in arms on their Warrior Forum.”
Way to call like it is… go stuff man I am still laughing. What makes it so good is that it is absolutely right on. But you know I have had a really difficult time finding your site through searching on Google. I only came across it because I spelt my search phrase in correctly… not sure why that is. Anyway I am glad I found it and could not help but want to add something.
Well, I guess I’m one of those monkeys! I joined Affiliate Jump in August. I started an Adwords campaign since that’s the only method they had training on for getting traffic (I was very new and didn’t know anything). Since then I got 243 impressions but no clicks. Then two weeks ago I got an email from Google Adwords saying they’re disabling my adwords account and banning me for life! I appealed the decision and got the response last week. They said that it was because 1) The URL(s) cited for a very poor-quality landing page experience is: weightloss303.com and 2) The account was disabled because this URL is: an affiliate bridge page (I still don’t know what that means). I opened a ticket with Affiliate Jump and their response was: This is a tough issue right now as Google has just made this switch. It seems there is nothing we can do with the Adwords account as Google has made their decision.
That said, there are many other opportunities out there that can be used such as Yahoo, Bing, MySpace, article marketing, eZine advertising, and more. None of the options I just mentioned take any of the care in evaluating offers they are going to run. In fact, there are many CPA marketers that are happier with conversions through Bing (MSN) these days as opposed to just about anywhere else.
I would look to the opportunities in marketing elsewhere to keep things moving forward. Our training director will be putting together videos in the coming weeks that cover Bing and Yahoo to help make life easier for people. These can be fantastic opportunities. Kindly let us know if we could assist you with anything else.
That response was soooo helpful!!! Have they sent out an email to the other members warning them about Google Adwords? I haven’t seen anything. I certainly don’t want to risk getting banned by anyone else (doesn’t everyone eventually follow what Google does?) At this point I think I’m going to cancel my subscription and demand all of my money back (yeah, right).
you crack me up hehehe …brilliant.I almost Jumped in on “JUMP”,I waited days in expectation,of jumping into a no fail situation.At last my bank manager will be jumping for joy i thought.No chance,i had to log in maybe twenty times and give my name ,address etc. In the end i told them to jump their mothers……sorry i am not usualy like that. Anyway can you write me a landing page cos you realy make me laugh ….or at least point me in the right direction of a real affiliate program
Publish my content bitches! :: Cracks whip!:: HYAH!
lol @ this ^
it is all about the traffic… the connections …
UGC FTW
Pricky Micky. He certainly fucked me over (VIA the Affiliate JUMP) for a lousy 100 bucks. Then he doesn’t have the balls to own up to what he just did: Lie in my face while picking my pocket (MasterCard). What sucks even more is when I sent his crew a complaint outlining how disappointed I am in his “methods” that are so full of dirty holes; HE SENDS OTHER PEOPLE to DENY that the “informational products” he scammed me for ARE NOT EVEN HIS!! All this while I have HARD COPY/ HARDCORE PROOF that he took the money. They all stupidly claim CPA Revealed is NOT associated with “Affiliate Jump”. He deserves to have a RECURRING CURSE LAID ON HIM (and his brown-nosing lackeys deserve some of this backlash). No BALLS! NO Face! NO BACKBONE, and eventually, NO SOUL, either. COWARDS. (From one really pissed off Canadian woman).
Marie Tsikopoulou, when I read your post, I felt your anger, and believe me, I feel the exact same thing when I thing of filsaime.
He may bank hard right now, but with so many people pissed off by his scams, his kharma is gonna make him fall.
just like madoff. Continue to scam us, mike, continue to make tens of millions by selling the most bs info that could exist on the internet. Every million you make right now by stealing us, you will lose times ten times.
Hope to see you in jail very soon, fucker.
Most honest and best real insight that I’ve ever come across online.
When I saw Mike and other Gurus promoting AJ, I figured this must be it!
After reading the pitch I thought, continuity and paid membership.
I must ask Google and that’s what got me to PPC.BIZ.
I will come back for reviews. You guys are the sh….
Peace.
genewolfe
Dear bitches,
I gots:
- Highest payouts
- Sick exclusives
- MIT Affiliate Managers (given only to top traffic drivers)
So…you whiney no-$ wannabes can suck the nads while I take your monies.
Barman – why don’t you sign up for my network? If you got any bizop traffic, I got an offer with a -$11 EPC right now. Just sayin’…