Ryan Deiss Discovers Traffic Glory Hole, Volk Gets Lazy

Ryan Deiss’ Glory Hole

I was checking my guru spam email, which is dedicated strictly to guru nonsense, and I saw this one amazing email from Ryan Deiss. Now, if you don’t know Ryan Deiss, I can’t blame you. I’ve heard the name before plenty of times, but I don’t really give one flying fuck who he is so I never bothered to look him up.

All I know is that he is one of the ‘big’ gurus. What his position is in the guru circle jerk, I don’t know – but I do know that he generally has to give tugs to Shoemoney, while getting his nuts rubbed by Frank Kern.

Anyway- here’s this fucking email:

Hey,

Over the past few months the self-riotous egg heads at Google adwords have banned the accounts of over 15,000 direct marketers. Banned for life! Some of the most straight up marketers I know. No reasoning, nothing. Just an email saying go away.

Fortunately, I already had a plan…

Thanks Ryan Diess! Good thing to know I can count on you when trouble arises. Where would the industry be without you?

Before we continue – are you sure Google is self-riotous? I know they get a little crazy in those offices, but I think you meant righteous.

See where I’m getting the lion’s share of my traffic now days (it ain’t Google). Click the link below right now for my free report: http://www.newtraffichoneyhole.com

Ah yes, the “New Traffic Money Hole” dot com! The cure for the depression caused by Google Adwords bans!

Finally! Now all the people who were banned from Google can now stick their dick in a new glory hole!

Google is the most arrogant company on earth just like Yahoo was in their day. Do these jerks never learn…

No Ryan Deiss, they just don’t learn. They just don’t.

My new source of traffic is like an “Island of Sanity” compared to those guys.

They get 39,000,000,000 (that’s BILLION) views per month and their traffic is super high quality and dirt cheap… They love affiliates and direct marketing!

You have GOT to get on this… Click the link below right now for my free report:
See ya soon
- Ryan Deiss

The Island of Sanity?! 39 BILLION views? Traffic is super high quality?! They love affiliates!?!?!

Where did this “secret traffic source” come from? I mean, by the time any website reaches around… say, One Billion views, people start to take notice. Isn’t it a little queer that such a fast growing website is “secret” according to Diess?

P.S. PLEASE, don’t spend another dime with Google till you see this.

P.S.S. I will be pulling this report down soon before everybody jumps on the band wagon. Better go
watch it now while its FREE

If you’re still spending hundreds or thousands of dollars on Google a day, fucking stop! PLEASE!

You gotta try this new secret traffic source! No wait! Before you do that, you gotta sign up for Diess’ list and buy his info product.

Onto the Traffic Glory Hole

So I went to Diess’ website and watched his guru boiler plate video. The new traffic glory hole from Ryan Diess is here.

Wait a fucking minute. Did I just get redirect to FBAdPower.com?! F and B stands for Face and Book. Facebook?! Is this about Facebook!? FUCK!

Your fucking secret traffic source info product is about the BIGGEST WEBSITE ON EARTH YOU FUCKING CUNT

This motherfucker Ryan Deiss is so full of shit. He will push whatever flavor-of-the-week there is. Yet, he really doesn’t know jack shit when it comes to real affiliate marketing. Pushing guru products on Warrior Forum and Clickbank is not affiliate marketing. It’s guru marketing. People bank with both, but someone needs to draw a line in the sand.

The Ryan Diess Formula to Success-

1. Create an info product for the current “hot topic.” For example, SEO. You don’t even need to know SEO. It doesn’t matter because you’ll be bashing it in your next product launch. You just need to pretend you know. Another example is his “Let’s Get Social” product. Its not even his. It’s just some dumb bitch droning on about how she is fleecing local business owners for several grand a month to manage their twitter accounts.
2. Learn to Sell Hopes and Dreams. Get paid with that desperate newbie money.
3. Months later, create another info product. You don’t have to be an expert on this new topic either. It just has to be the hot topic of the day.
4. This time, in your sales videos and shit, completely bash your previous products. For example, the FBAdPower.com sales video. Ryan talks shit about SEO, even admits he doesn’t know how to do it. He then proceeds to talk shit about JV partnerships and list, which I’m pretty sure is his bread and butter. The fucking nerve of this clown. I can’t imagine the thoughts going through anyone’s head who bought one, two, even three of four of his products. They are thinking one of two things: “This fucking scumbag…” or “THANK YOU SIR MAY I HAVE ANOTHER!”
5. Completely hype up your new product. Call it “secret” and “underground.” These are the kinds of buzzwords that work great on unsuspecting newbies.
6. ….
7. POP TWO COLLARS

What a gigantic fucking tool.

Volk Gets Lazy

Volk is completely out of ideas, and has completely run through the list of clowns willing to give him an interview. Here’s an email he sent out recently….

Hey!

I’m looking for people to interview for my friday affiliate interviews and figured there might be someone who you know would make an interesting interview.

If you have anyone in mind, reply back with a way for me to contact them and I’ll let them know you recommended I interview them. It might be a good way for you to let those friends know you think highly of them and help them get some exposure, etc. Plus, I always like to help those who help me – in some shape or form.

I’m not necessarily looking for multi-million dollar success stories… just average people who work hard and actually make money online. People who might stand out to you in some way or another.

Any help will be very much appreciated! :D

Let me think of some people who have made money online…. Hmmm…. OK I know a few.

I’ll send over the same 20 questions you email everybody so you can have some original content for your blog. I’m sure they can’t wait to spend an hour replying and getting their mugshot on your blog. GLB

(GLB = Good Luck Bros)

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