Category Archives: Mindset

Dump Your Brain and Dump Your Fat

Hey guys, it’s your ol’ pal Barman! Remember me? No…?

This isn’t a fancy long post or anything, but I felt like bestowing some advice unto my loyal readers (well, what’s left of them anyway… like 3 people?) In fact, it has nothing to do with affiliate marketing. It’s a shortie, but goodie. That’s what she said.

Dump Your Brain

Dear diary,

A lot of people find writing to be very cathartic, and as of late, I must add myself to that group. I don’t mean blogging either – I mean personal writing that is only meant for you as a way to get your thoughts on paper. Writing helps to organize your thoughts, helps you be become more creative, and allows you to solidify your thoughts and goals. The most important benefit, at least to me, is that its much easier to remember ideas. It’s impossible to keep every little idea you come up with in your head. You’ll just forget them over time, and keeping them on random post-it notes isn’t a going to cut it in the long run.

So… how does one actually ‘write’ for one’s self?
Continue reading

Getting Lazy and Fighting through Failure for Affiliates

If you’re in affiliate marketing, even if you don’t call yourself an entrepreneur, you are one. And while many people think being an entrepreneur is a cakewalk (especially the people suckered into thinking there are “easy riches on autopilot” by the shithead gurus), no one really talks about the tough times that come before you’re actually making a living.

Tough times happen to all entrepreneurs, whether you’re still trying to crack that nut, or you’re successful already. Unless you’re the luckiest person on earth, you are going to have some shitty times fall your way. I guess the roller coaster ride is part of the excitement of doing what we do?

Getting Lazy

Know the true value of time: snatch, seize, and enjoy every moment of it. No idleness, no laziness, no procrastination; never put off till tomorrow what you can do today.”
– Lord Chesterfield

Complacency is the killer of success. In an economic system that thrives on competition, you will lose when you get lazy – doesn’t matter if you’re a big corporation or an individual. So unless you have a huge nest egg that will feed you for the rest of your life, you cannot get lazy as an entrepreneur. Always be improving yourself and your marketing strategies.

“Procrastination is suicide on the installment plan.”

Neil Turner wrote a very brave post about getting lazy. Whether your drug of choice is boozing, partying, Xbox, or actual drugs, staying out of the affiliate game for a few weeks, let alone six months, is going to ruin you.

I’ve heard too many stories of successful affiliates getting lazy and ending up in the gutter. Not an actual gutter, but basically back to “square one.” It can happen to you, but if you’re sharp you know what to look out for. It may happen to you once, maybe twice, but hopefully you’ll learn from experience and not let it happen again.

Fighting Off Procrastination and Lazyiness

There’s really nothing I can tell you to prevent laziness in the future. Everyone has there is own reasons for being lazy, so there isn’t a solution that works for everybody. The ability to fight off procrastination is something you learn over time. Once you suffer from the repercussions of forgetting about your campaigns, not launching new ones, or stopping your split-testing, your ass will get bit and hopefully you will learn your lesson.

It’s easier to fix a marketing campaign running at 50% then starting all over. So if you are going to be lazy, be lazy for a short time – not half a year. Take your breaks when you need to, but get right back on track as soon as you can.

When you do take a break from the affiliate gangster game, spend some time to improve yourself. This means reading or watching some seminars or whatever the fuck. A great book to read to get better with the problem of procrastination is “Eat that Frog” by Brian Tracy. Tracy has written a ton of books on success, so he is one of many authors worth looking into if you suffer from this problem (which is almost everyone.)

The Agony of Defeat

So what if you’re not lazy? What if you’re busting your ass day in and day out, but getting no where? What if you spent 2 weeks solid on a campaign that just ended up being a bust? Or 3 months on a website idea that went know where?

Or what if your world is just crashing around you?

If you follow my Twitter, you may have noticed a time period a few weeks ago where I had some crybaby posts bitching about my life. I was lazy early this year and was paying for it, so my affiliate game fell off hard. And when you combine that with problems I was having within other ventures, well I just felt like there was no hope for the future.

After a few days of it though, I realized I was being a bitch and stopped that shit. The occasional expression of depression is fine – just don’t make it your whole MO. Twitter just makes it easy to express what you’re thinking or feeling without definition.

Either way, demotivation hit. You lose motivation when you’ve tried hard to get something to work and it doesn’t, like where you spent a whole lot of time on a campaign and having the offer die on you days later.

Sometimes we fail because of laziness (self-inflicted), and other times because of the unfortunate circumstances (bad luck) the world gives us. So what do you do?

Fight Through it You Bitch

If everything we touched turned to gold, we’d pick our shit up out of the toilet and sell it to pawn shops.

Despite being demotivated – I was still busting my ass to get everything back in order. And as the days and weeks passed, I simply realized there are ups and downs and you just have to deal with them.

Take what you can from failure – the thing you can’t buy, which is called experience. You will learn more from failure than can ever be taught from a book. When you start building your experience, reading e-books and watching seminars makes a lot more sense because you immediately know what you can apply and what you cannot.

Getting through the hard times is what separates the men from the boys. It separates the true entrepreneurs from the wanna-bes. When you give up and decide to get that entry-level IT job, you’ve established that being an entrepreneur is not for you.

But a true entrepreneur will fight through the down times, bleeding bare knuckles and the world on your shoulders and all. And he fights until he gets what he wants.

There is always a light at the end of the tunnel, just remember that another tunnel will always come, so be prepared for it this time around.

Working Your Affiliate Bankroll

If you haven’t already, read the first part of this Affiliate Bankroll series.

This article is targeted towards the majority of affiliate marketers. I’m sure many affiliates can take something away here, but this article will be more helpful to newbies or those that have been doing this a long time with little success.

The fact of the matter is most people will have to work from one tier to the next. Some will get lucky, but the majority will not. It’s all about managing your cash flow to get to a level where you are making a living, or a fortune.

There have been a few posts in the affiliate marketing space about cash flow. This is pretty much the topic, but no one really goes into too this much detail.

Calculating Risk in Poker and Online Marketing

In poker, every hand you play is a risk. Calculating risk is basically what separates your average poker player from someone who wins often. Some people can estimate the risk while math wizards can calculate to the exact percentage. Either way, calculating the risk is at the core of being a good poker player.

And just like poker, online marketing has risks. Every dollar you spend is a risk. No matter what you spend that dollar on, you will have more long-term success if you know how to reduce risk. It’s hard to pinpoint your risk with online marketing like it is in poker, but one thing you can do is reduce your risk as much as possible.

Reducing Risk

Research, research, research! This is the best way to reduce risk. The web is a big, big place and you can find out a lot of information fairly easily. Whether you are spending money or time – reduce your fucking risk!

For SEO, researching your competition is easy. A simple Google search with one of the many free plugins available for checking competition will tell you if you can actually get traffic for your website to generate revenue. If you spend a month building a high-quality content site and expect the world to show up, you will be in for a rude awakening if you can’t beat your competition with your current skillset. Pick something you can handle from the very beginning.

With PPC, you reduce risk by researching what the successful campaigns are doing in your niche. Keep an eye out on the ads, see which ones are sticking over time. Even better, spend an entire day researching the whole niche start to finish, not just the ads in Google. This allows you to come up with ideas that have a high risk / reward ratio – no one else may be doing it so you implement and if it works you’re ballin’. Another way to reduce risk to ask an experienced affiliate manager on what is working and how it’s working.

For Media Buying, research your targets if you are buying banners on individual sites (Is the traffic there? Is this my demographic?), or ask the people who know what they are doing when you’re going after big media buys.

What if you want to invest in a paid tool, seminar, or paid forum? Once again, research what you are buying. Be careful to not fall for the sales hype that is common to these products and services. Spend a little bit of time researching the people behind it and not dreaming about how much money you can make. Believe it or not, there are some tools, forums and seminars worth buying.

Same thing applies to outsourced labor. Research who you are working with or ask your friends for recommendations. Otherwise you will be going to through foreigner and foreigner on Odesk.

What to do with your Affiliate Bankroll – Tier to Tier

The tiers below refer to monthly revenue, not how much you have in the bank. And we assume you are making some profit from your revenue so you have cash to work with.

Everything I write is a generalization. There are no hard and fast rules here. I am also full of shit.

Under $1,000

If this is your revenue, chances are you are new, or not new and do not know what you are doing. You may not have cash to reinvest, but you have one thing that everyone else has, and that’s time. The options below take time and do not make you a killing, but they work well enough to generate cash flow.

SEO – Search optimization is not a mystery. It’s pretty fucking simple, especially when you have a website with value. Target one keyword, or one niche, and take it over. Spend every hour of every day coming up with delicious content, building links, building relationships with other websites, so on and so forth. Select a niche with at least one offer that you can promote on this site, or learn how to make the most out of Adsense (or similar services)

Leverage High-Traffic Sites – Post on the top forums in your niche, or answer questions on Askville or Yahoo Answers. You can build a ton of backlinks and traffic this way, but you must have a good website to be sending these people to so you have some staying power within these websites. Otherwise, you’re going to get booted off fast for spamming.

Article Marketing – Also known as Bum Marketing. I won’t get into detail because this is pretty straightforward and there is more information out there on the subject than you would ever want to read.

Spam – You have time to learn how to program. When you can automate something to take advantage of an opportunity in a service, you can make money. For example, the automatic Myspace friend-adder from the days of long-ago.

Outsource Yourself – If you have nothing else, outsource yourself. There are a ton of article writers on Wickedfire with great talent that are making much more than $1,000 a month. If you can design or program you can sell these skills too. Obviously you have to always be improving; otherwise people will figure out your services suck and stop using you.

Site Flipping – This tactic has been mentioned on a few forums and books – the information is out there. If you are starting from ground zero, build a site that gets traffic and some revenue and sell it for 8-12x months revenue.

$1,000 – $5,000

Ok, so you’re making a respectable income for most people. Chances are you got to do this level doing at least something mentioned in tier above. Or maybe you’re balling with some Pay Per Clicks?

At this tier, you have some money to spend on scaling. This needs to be dispensable income (% of your bankroll you can afford to lose) because sometimes shit is just not going to work out. You test new traffic and nothing works, or you hire a programmer that is a bum. The idea is to not blow your whole bankroll so you can keep chugging along.

Reinvest in Tools for Automation – If your focus is SEO, you probably know something that can push up your rankings if only you automated it. Spend $1,000 or whatever you need to get these tools built. There are also a few great tools out there pre-built that you can invest in (SENuke, for example for around $150 a month)

Unfortunately there is a lot of shit being sold, so try before you buy. The best solution of course is to pay for what you need done and keep it to yourself. If you are buying someone else’s tools, research is the key to not getting burned.

Scale What’s Working – If you have something that works, try new traffic sources. For PPC, there are a ton of 2nd and 3rd their PPC engines to test out. If you’re SEO, buy links to push up your rankings (touchy subject) or buy banners on popular websites in your niche. At this point you should outsource getting additional articles written (more content = more traffic) and more links built to your website (directory, blog directory, social bookmark submission)

If you’re still fucking around with articles, pay some Indians to write them for $2, then sell them to Associated Content for $4.

Domains – You’re not going to get rich buying a domain that are available to register. All the good domains are taken, and the great ones – forget about it. But you can spend $500-$2,000 on a really good domain. You can flip it for more than you bought it for if you can find the right buyer. That buyer usually won’t be found on a domaining forum. It will usually be an individual or business you have to seek out yourself. Once again, research is key.


This is actually an important tier because when you generate this much revenue, you can get on weekly payouts from affiliate networks (which usually require $1,000 per week minimum in revenue). This improves your cash flow and allows you to make moves quicker than month to month.

SEO – This may be where many SEO-focused websites reach critical mass. There are only so many visitors you can get via Search for one particular niche. At some point the work you put in will begin yielding fewer results.

If you can keep growing (there is room for more domination), keep growing by adding social features (forums), services (invest in a programmer to build you a service your niche needs. A diet tracker application is an example), or buy out your competition (just straight up offer to buy their website).

And if you have done everything you can do, the obvious option here is to bust out a new website in a new niche. But now you have resources so you can outsource content and traffic generation, making the process much faster than before.

Site Flipping – I have found that it is much easier to take a website getting 300 visitors a day and turning that into 1,000 visitors a day fairly quickly then it is to grow a brand new site from 0 to 300 visitors.

There are plenty of opportunities in this space. People may have spent the past 3 years of their lives working on a website in their spare time that never made them any money, but they had fun doing it. Then they realized they can sell their website for a few thousands bucks to pay some bills.

Here’s where a savvy marketer like you comes in. You buy the website because you see it can be worth a lot more with some simple changes at first, then a little bit of elbow grease. Whether it is adding banners in the right places, adding great content, building links, or all of the above – there is value in what you know and they don’t.

Paid Traffic Channels – If you’ve gotten to this level with paid traffic, then chances are you already know what you’re doing. Just scale the motherfucker! now-thats-data

The problem with most advice regarding paid traffic is the lack of disclosure on how much money you really need. If you want to make a traffic source work for you, you need a lot of cash on hand. Statistical relevance does not come from 17 clicks a day.

Whether it’s PPC, PPV, or Media Buying, you need an ample amount of cash to burn. You need variations of your ads, landing pages, and offers ready on day one when you pay for the traffic. Once you find winners, you need new variations ready immediately to find further improvement.

Testing all of these variables means you need statistical relevance to find success, and the only way to get statistical relevance is more traffic. That traffic costs money.

And there is the chance a niche or traffic source will completely blow for what you are doing. A lot of people won’t stop until they make it work, but if you can’t make it work at some point, you’re going to start over.

Domains – Same rules apply, but the quality of domains you can buy greatly improve. There should be some good deals these days on high-quality domains as domainers are selling off their inventory in droves as revenues decline and the economy goes into the shitter.

$20,000 – $100,000

You are unofficially at ‘super affiliate’ status. Good for you. What the fuck do you want? A plaque to put on your desk and a pat on the ass?

You can apply everything already mentioned on a larger scale. Instead of testing one traffic source, you can test 5 at once. Instead of buying a $2,000 website to flip, you can buy a $20,000 website. Instead of one good domain, you buy a premium (great) domain and have the resources available to build a long-term website that will generate revenue forever – never fearing the Google / Facebook / Ex-girlfriend slap (You can finally buy that bitch some shoes!)

$100,000 +

If you made it this far, there is little barman can tell you. But I will write some shit out anyway.

Affiliate Product Development – You can start your own product that affiliates like to push. A few big affiliates have gone this route if you haven’t noticed. If you are at this level, you understand how affiliate marketing works and you have the relationships to make your product work.

You Own Product Development and Marketing – You do not necessarily need to come out with a credit report offer or colon cleanse rebill. There so many opportunities in creating your own offer. It really is limitless. You can find dropshipping for a product no one else is selling, or maybe find someone local that needs their product rolled out on a world-wide scale.

And you do not necessarily need a ton of money to do this. You can start small for a few grand and re-invest as you generate more revenue.

You don’t need a physical product either. Facebook apps can make a killing. Services that can be sold by the box or through a subscription service are needed in every niche.

Start a Network – Instead of developing a product, you can of course, start a network. Obviously you need more than $100k on hand to do this. You also need real experience in the industry and business know-how to run a successful affiliate company. It’s not for everyone, and it is not mandatory once you reach a certain level. Just know that there are a handful of affiliate networks started by affiliates that are very successful and continue to grow.

Of course, many will test their luck just because they think it’s where all the money is. After a few months these networks fall apart, fail to pay, and generally catch an ass-whooping on affiliate forums.

What Did You Learn?

If there is any lesson you can take away from this post, it is to stop having delusions of grandeur. Stop falling for marketing tactics for guru-products where the headline reads “I made $51,012.92 this month doing nothing.” Stop motivating yourself with money.

Broke newbies fall for this shit because they think they can go from $0 to infinity by just buying this one product. But they ignore the time and money spent in-between, and don’t realize the hard long hours needed, and the experience (something you can’t buy) gained from failure.

Focus on one thing until you master it. Stop moving from idea to idea if you’re wondering why you’re not getting anywhere. When you master it, the money comes easier.

The next thing is taking care of your bankroll. Don’t drop 5 figures on a car if that’s all you have left. You can only take advantage of the opportunities out there when you have the cash to do it with. It’s easier to turn $10K into $20K then it is to make $10K starting with nothing.

And the last thing to take away is to know that there is opportunity everywhere. I only discussed a few of the most popular ways to make money online. Like I’ve said before, “there’s more than one way to fuck a fat bitch!”

For example, I see Facebook ads running for a seminar in my city. The ad is targeting business owners looking to grow their business with e-commerce. So you fill up your seminar with businesses eager to grow, convince them that the only way to grow is to spend money with you, then get them to buy your e-commerce solutions. Skadoosh!

Affiliate Bankroll

Let’s talk about two of my favorite things – poker, and selling sugar pills to fat ladies between the ages of 18 and 45.

This is going to be a 2-part series, and I will most likely publish the second half later today.

It’s time to discuss some theory. If you haven’t noticed, 96% of affiliate marketing blogs you read only talk about success as an individual accomplishment. Like “I made 5 figures doing this!” or “Hey, Look at my giant Photoshopped check!”

What you need to understand is that individual successes come and go, and having some staying power in affiliate marketing (or any online marketing for that matter) requires knowing how to navigate the long road ahead, and how to manage your bankroll.

That said, theory is theory and anything I write from this point on can be taken as complete bullshit.

Shoemoney actually wrote a post that compares Hold ‘em to online marketing, which is worth the read. But the comparisons are vague and provide no value to the average reader. This series will hopefully change that.

First, let’s define poker bankroll.

Poker Bankroll

If you have any experience playing poker, especially professionally, you more than likely have heard the term “bankroll.” Bankroll, by definition in terms of poker, refers to the total amount of money you have available for your poker ventures – whether it’s for cash games, tournaments, or both. It is not the amount of money you have in an individual game (although it can be defined as such, but not for this article)

Professional poker players understand the concept of bankroll and will tell any newbie that they need to learn about managing it if they want to make a career out of poker.

If you deposit $200 into PokerStars, and this is all you think you will ever deposit for online poker, then this is your bankroll. If you are a professional poker player and been playing the game a long time, chances are your bankroll is several hundred thousands or several millions of dollars.

The point of bankroll is to reduce risk of catastrophic failure (inability to play any more poker) but at the same time allow you to make more money.

Catastrophic failure – You play Hold ‘em with friends every night, you can’t get enough World Series of Poker on TV, and you play online a few hours a day. You love poker. So you take all your winnings from friends, online poker, and some pennies from the couch, and you signup for a $5,000 buy-in tournament in Vegas. All your money is on the line.

You bust out first. Fuck! You’ve lost it all. You have no more money for poker, let alone the utility bills.

When you’ve busted in poker you do one of two things. Stop playing forever (the obvious choice most people will take) or rebuild. The problem with rebuilding from ground zero is that is going to take a long time.

If you knew how to manage bankroll, this would have never happened. You would have never risked 100% of your poker money on one single game.

Make More Money – The rich get richer. The bigger your bankroll, the more opportunity available for you to make even more money.

Managing you bankroll wisely allows you to make more money. Let’s say you have $20K for your poker ventures. Using your bankroll wisely means you never drop more than $500 (example only – I don’t know the official bankroll guidelines for poker players) on a cash game or tournament.

Why? Because if you bust you still have money to play. Come back the next day or week when you’re not on tilt. The bills can still be paid.

Playing more means that eventually, if you are any good, you are making more. And if you are making more, the opportunities for bigger cashes open up. You can play bigger tournaments and bigger cash games. This is why you see some people cry their eyes out when they lose the World Series (because they’ve invested everything) or some people (professionals) who call it just another day in the office. The $10,000 buy-in means nothing to them.

That’s a basic run-down of the importance of poker bankroll. So how does poker bankroll compare to your affiliate bankroll?


One Lump Sum vs Monthly RevenuePoker bankroll generally means one amount of money – the money in your bank account.

For the sake of this series, affiliate bankroll will refer to monthly profit because that is how most of us track our earnings.

Scalability – A poker player is only one person. This person can only represent himself when he sites down at the casino. To be fair, you can play multiple tables with online poker, but you’re eventually maxing out at 4-8 tables.

Online marketing allows unlimited scalability. You can keep growing your business single-handedly, outsource, or do whatever you can to scale your revenue to something worth bragging about.


Opportunity – Both poker and online marketing allow more opportunities when your bankroll gets bigger. When you have a huge bankroll in poker, the million dollar cash games you hear about are something you can actually play.

As you generate more revenue with online marketing, opportunities open up. And that is pretty much what I am going to try and outline in the next post.

Luck – She is a harsh mistress. One day luck gives you a promotion, the next day you get a flat tire, a ticket, and you find out your wife has been cheating on you with Shoemoney.

Bad luck happens in both poker and online marketing, and it’s something you just have to deal with. But of course, do not let it define any of your actions. It just happens. Keep fuckin’ hustling.

Ups and Downs – If you pay attention to anything in this article, know that both poker and affiliate marketing have ups and down. There will be months when you lose your ass in poker, or even have a whole year of bad beats. But the professionals come back year and after year.

And it’s just as true in affiliate marketing. You can be on top of the world for months on end, but one day your top offer can die, Google can slap you, or the FTC raids your door and seizes your computers and assets.

Next Post – Working Your Affiliate Bankroll >

Nobody is Going to Tell You Shit Part 2

After trying to write some long, meaningful post last night, I had to take a step back. Too much babbling and not enough quality shit. I truly felt like jon on one of his addy benders where he posts a novel about nothing, and everyone is like “WTF?”

It’s a bright and early morning and my head is clear.

So what was I getting at?

Well, everyone leaches for information, whether it’s something to get started or the next big thing. Newbies, earners, and ballers all do it, some more than most. Leaching tips and ideas is part of the game. But, if you rely on it too much and don’t spend enough time putting in work, you’re going to get fucked.

Let’s look at all the shit out there and see if it is bullshit or some shit that will actually be useful.

People Who Do Know Shit but Will Waste Your Time

You know those people… the dreaded “super affiliate” bloggers. You might have seen one of their checks, or their posts bragging about how much they make. They make money no question, but will not tell you a fucking thing worth knowing.

Let’s call them the Zac Johnsons.

Their posts are generally bullshit. The consist of either

  • 1. Bragging, bragging, and more bragging. No one gives a fuck how much you make. The only thing you are doing is making newbies think “shit this affiliate thing easy! Let me try it!” then they jack up bid prices. It is not “inspirational” If you truly wanted to change some lives you’d complain about how many hours you work and the struggle it took to get there.
  • 2. Selling you Something – If they’re not bragging, chances are they are selling you something. Selling out is fine, but not when you don’t even review the product, because if you did you’d realize it’s bullshit (Volk is actually on the few blogs worth reading he just lost mad brownie points for that post, especially after he didn’t approve my comment. Why am I so bitter over internet drama?)

All these morons like John Chow, all they do is make newbies think, “I just need to write a blog about making money and I will make money. If this buck-toothed clown can do it, so can I!” Then after a year and a half they are wondering why no one cares about their blog.

How to apply this shit – Stop reading these blogs and following these people. If you have to, read the headline and move on. This is not the fucking gospel. Once in a blue moon something worth knowing is posted, but it’s 99% bullshit. This means people like Mike Filsaime and Frank Kern, who make a killing but do it by selling their junk to the lowest common denominator.

People Who Do Know Shit and Will Not Waste Your Time

Promoting networks, products, and services on your blog is all part of the game. I mean, something has to pay these hosting costs and .bz renewal fees?

But I never understood why some of these popular writers just spew bullshit – like the hasOffers fiasco. Just because you have a following, you think you can write about something by copy-pasting the products sales page and people will jump on it?

How about you take a few minutes to review a product, providing some actual instruction on how to use it, and actually make some money? Or drop some knowledge that won’t affect you anymore but might make somebody some money?

This is why Nickycakes was so successful. He dropped bombs on his blog and promoted the offers on Advaliant, and told you which offers to push. He alone turned Advaliant into a player, all while earning a handsome commission.

This is why Ruck was so successful with CashTactics before he started his network.
“Here’s an idea, and the network to promote it on. Now sign up under my affiliate link”

The best recent example I’ve seen of this being done is Eli’s Autopligg Review. Although it’s long, it’s the most-straightforward method to use Autopligg successfully. Now go buy it through his affiliate link.

How to apply this shit – If you’re a reader, spend more time reading the blogs of people who know what they are talking about, rather than those trying to sell you something every other post.

If you’re a blogger, realize that if you want staying power, or if you want to grow a following, you are going to have to give something up. Whether it’s something that works, used to work, how to use something else works, it’s all about providing some value to your readers.

And if you’re some newbie blogger looking to copy John Chow, just give up now. No one is going to sign up through your affiliate link, and if anybody does they are a bum because no real affiliate takes your blog seriously. What’s a 3% on $0 anyway?

Of course you can just write about how much you make. Just write big numbers and write it out to the last penny. Lying about it is fine. People will flock to you like you were the second coming of Jesus. “OH HELP ME MAKE THE MONIES LAWD!”

Your Brain Will Tell You Shit

When you think about your work, you get ideas. Whether these ideas come on the shitter, while looking at lolcats, or while you’re on a 3 day bender, we all get ideas and some are actually good. This mushy grey shit in our head can bust out some really good ideas when it wants to.

But if you’re not doing anything, like you have no campaigns, no web properties, no plan, your ideas are junk. You think of things that will take a lot of work that you never get around to doing. Your brain has no fuel and it just spits out whatever it thinks will make you some money.

If you actually have a project going, a campaign, whatever – you think of ideas to improve what you are doing. Maybe you thought up some great link-bait for your blog, a new thing to split test on your LP, a new service to add to your accounting tools web application, or “Damn! Why didn’t I think of asking him for tips on this media buy campaign. It’s been a while since we talked.”

How to apply this shit – Get to work fucking work. Applying one idea to something that is already working is worth more than some big idea that only exists in your head.

Friends Will Tell You Shit

Real friends will tell you shit. The people who you’ve had a long relationship with online, or offline at an Affiliate Summit or Meet-up, whatever.

Learn how to make friends in this industry. You don’t do it by asking “So how much do you make?” within the first 5 minutes of a conversation. It can take weeks or months, but time in a relationship is something we cannot buy. Call time an investment if you want.

You’re in it for the long-haul right, not just looking to make a million in a week?

How to apply this shit – Make some friends? I don’t know what to tell you here loser.

People Who Want to Make Money Off Of You Will Tell You Shit

There are people that will definitely tell you shit because they are making money off of you. In this example, we look at affiliate networks.

Affiliate managers at networks will definitely tell you shit because they make money off of you. And if you know anything, you know that there are some dumb ones that can barely write an e-mail, and some that know more than you ever will, and everything in between.

So avoid the bullshit from managers that send you a daily IM of “OMG NEW HOT OFFERS.”

Well no shit these are hot new offers, but I don’t promote this niche so why do I care?

Find an affiliate manager who actually gives a fuck and knows what they are doing. Not to name names, but a few examples of these people would be the guys at Convert2Media, the players at EWANetwork, and maybe Geoff at Advaliant when he’s not modeling underwear.

How to apply this shit – Work with a networks and affiliate managers worth their salt.

People Who Don’t Know Shit and Repeat Other Peoples Dumb Shit

There are so many people out there that don’t know shit. The internet is fucking full of them.

I call it the “Idiot Echo Chamber“. These people who dedicate their lives to Warrior Forum or Digital Point, writing thousands of thousands of words that mean nothing.

How to Apply This Shit – This is pretty simple. Don’t read Warrior Forum or Digital Point. Use it to sell shit or buy cheap labor, but don’t actually read it. This applies to Wickedfire too, because if you haven’t noticed 99% of threads and posts there are either pointless, or written to deter others from learning anything of value to reduce their competition.

Other People’s Shit Will Only Get You Down

If you think you get inspired by people who post their success and earnings, you’re wrong. Money is the wrong tool for motivation for the majority of people.

If it is your sole motivation you will end up losing motivation quickly. And as long as you are not printing the money supply and do not have lobbyists working CONgress for funds, it will almost universally hold true that someone dumber than you who doesn’t work near as hard will earn more money

Quote from Aaron Wall

This is why the majority of newbies fail when they live by “super affiliate blogs.”

The $1 mil affiliate post on C2M is inspirational not because of the number, but because if you read between the lines you know this guy puts in hard work.

How to apply this shit – It’s not fucking easy to make money online. It’s either going to take a lot of time or a lot of money, or both. If it was easy for you, good for you – but for everyone else it is going to be the hardest thing you have ever done.

You Don’t Appreciate Shit Anyway

Call it what you will, but even the most clear-cut instructions on how make money will be met with laziness and resistance. There are numerous posts on Wickedfire that provide great examples of building some sort of property that can make you money for a long time. (Local Niche Directory, Site Flipping, etc)

The problem is so many people do not appreciate the shit that is being given to them. Why? Because it takes work – “but I don’t want to work! I want to make lots of money online working one hour a day from the beach!”

Even if someone drops some knowledge that is easy to apply, there will still be shitheads that want something easier.

How to apply this shit – You’re going to waste your life looking for the quickest, easy way to make money online. Those years have past and now it’s actually challenging. Even the multi-millionaire domainers, who earned their keep with something as simple as domain names, put in there 80 hour weeks in the 90s when competition was minuscule.

Learn to appreciate what it really takes – whether it’s affiliate marketing, building a long-term subscription service, starting an affiliate network, or building a website with plans of a buyout by Google or another big company. Whatever it is, it is going to be harder than anything you ever did.

Fuck What You Heard.

Information is useless until you apply it and test it on your own. You may have heard that this image works, this headline works, this link-building strategy works – it’s all moot unless you apply it to your own empire to see if it works.

If you blindly follow information without testing you’re going to get fucked. If you are sitting around waiting for information about the next big thing, you’re going to get fucked but it will happen over a longer time period.

Time is one thing we do not get back. Spend too much time looking for information that you think will change your life and you’ll look back in a few years and say “What the fuck have I done? Nothing.”

That’s why it is important to optimize where you time is spent – build quality relationships, work on projects with long-term value, and rely on only the sources of information that you can trust, that are not in the business of wasting your time.

Nobody is Going to Tell You Shit Part 1

Let’s keep it real for a minute. PPC dot Bz has been on a roll, so let’s keep this train chugging along with some fresh new posts that drop bomb after bomb of knowledge on your stupid face.

Be lucky that I’m writing this because is such a time sink, it’s amazing it’s gone on this long. Enjoy your free fucking laughs!

This post is for online marketers. Not the affiliates that have it figured out, push heat, been in the game a long time and put in the work. If you are one you should read this anyway because this post will probably be funny.

Nope, this is for the 90% of you who don’t know what the fuck you are doing and have been banging your head against the wall for months or years. The fucking retards that spend all day scouring the web for a nugget of information that you think will make you rich quick. For those of you running around in circles with your ass chaffing because your fat legs keep rubbing together.

What do you plan to accomplish posting on Wickedfire, reading thuper-affiliate blogs, and hanging out on IRC all day? Someone going to drop a huge turd of knowledge on you and you’re rich within days?

None of this shit does any good for the time spent doing it. It’s all a fucking time sink. Why? Because if you find some shit out in a public avenue (blog, forum, or what have you), you’re either too lazy to appreciate the shit that’s being said to even apply the shit, or too many other people know the shit and your efforts simply become a waste of time.

Now before you call me a hypocrite, keep in mind of the 3k+ posts I have on Wickedfire, most of them are no more than 5 words (usually containing the word dullspace) Of the 200+ readers in my blog, I can read them all within an hour and be done with it. I won’t lie; I can waste time with the best of them, but it’s something I’ve been working on and it’s what this post is about. Wasting time on dumb shit happens to the best of us.

So this post is about separating the real shit from the bullshit. You’re going to waste time online looking for information that will hopefully fatten your wallet. Here’s how to spend less time hoping and more time getting shit done (even if what you are getting done does not pay off immediately)

Part of this post was inspired by this one made over at You can read it first if you want, it’s short.

There are Two Methods to Make the Monies Online

Magic Bullet – Chances are you are one of these people – the one trolling blogs, forums, and chat rooms looking for clear-cut instructions on how to go from zero-to-hero in a week. You’re searching far and wide for something, Jesus Christ anything! that will make you the moneys, quickly and easily. The magic bullet that makes you bleed money when you shoot yourself in the leg with it.

You just want to get your empire set-up in a few days and retire!

Well fuck you buddy. It’s not going to happen. It will probably happen to 1 out of a 1,000 people, and this one lucky fucker will blog about it saying how easy it is and it will only give you and everyone else more false hope.

Don’t get me wrong. There are magic bullets. Everybody that is somebody has at least one, but no one in their right mind is going to give you the loaded gun. You think someone who has spent months or years of their life or thousands upon thousands of dollars is going to tell you exactly what works? No, idiot, nobody is going to tell you shit!

Hard Work – Legitimate, long hours at the computer while your boys go party it up on Saturday Night. Pushing 80 hours weeks and then some.

This is called hard work. Have you heard of it? Pave your own way, you lazy fuck. This is what being an entrepreneur (not just an affiliate) is about. And we’ll get into why in a moment…

More than just Affiliate Marketing

There are far too many opportunities when it comes to making money online. You will never know it all. Believe it or not, cheap media buy traffic + flog is not the only way to make money. Everywhere you look there is an opportunity.

If all you do is read affiliate marketing blogs, you’re just going to read the same, regurgitated shit that everyone else is doing. Most people don’t know what they are talking about and will only lead you down a road that wastes your time.

Affiliate marketing is just the tip of the iceberg. Sure it’s probably the fastest way to make money online with no other knowledge, and people make a good living, but it is not the only way. There’s more than one way to fuck a fat bitch.

You can make a killing buying established sites that are missing your skills, for a few grand, doubling the traffic with some good content and SEO, and selling them for multiple times what you bought it for.

You make a website that dominates just one niche, one city, whatever. If you are king of the mountain you can monetize it.

You can provide just one service that will generate a million dollars a year.

You can “borrow” just one idea for a game and pull in a million a month because you can monetize it better. just sold for $170 million because it provided a service that people wanted, and it did it better than competitors. It was a long-term (well, 3 years) plan that made nobody rich until the very end.

Domainers saw opportunity while you were chatting to girls on AOL 3.0

It’s not all about pushing berries.

Part 2 Tomorrow….

The Hot Dog Story

You should read this if you’re worrying about the recession instead of putting your head down getting to work. Shouts to Ruck

“A man lived by side of the road…..and sold hot dogs.

He was hard of hearing so he had no radio. He had trouble with his eyes so he read no newspaper, nor did he watch TV. But, he sold great hot dogs.

He put a sign up on the highway telling how great they were. He stood by the side of the road and cried, “Hey, You, want to buy a great hot dog?” And people came and they bought. So, he increased his meat and bun order. He bought a bigger stove to take care of his trade.

Then one day his son came home from college to help him.

His son said, “Dad, haven’t you heard the news about the recession? The economy is really bad. The unemployment situation is terrible. The energy situation is even worse. The housing market has went down the drain, and everyone is suffering”

Whereupon the hot dog man thought, “Well my son’s been to college. He reads the newspapers and listens to the radio, he ought to know.” So the father cut down on his meat and bun order. He took down his advertising signs. He no longer bothered to stand by the side of the road and yelled, “Want buy my hot dogs?” And his hot dog sales fell almost over night. “You’re right son.” The hot dog man said to his boy. “We certainly are in the middle of a bad recession!”