Nobody is Going to Tell You Shit Part 1

Let’s keep it real for a minute. PPC dot Bz has been on a roll, so let’s keep this train chugging along with some fresh new posts that drop bomb after bomb of knowledge on your stupid face.

Be lucky that I’m writing this because is such a time sink, it’s amazing it’s gone on this long. Enjoy your free fucking laughs!

This post is for online marketers. Not the affiliates that have it figured out, push heat, been in the game a long time and put in the work. If you are one you should read this anyway because this post will probably be funny.

Nope, this is for the 90% of you who don’t know what the fuck you are doing and have been banging your head against the wall for months or years. The fucking retards that spend all day scouring the web for a nugget of information that you think will make you rich quick. For those of you running around in circles with your ass chaffing because your fat legs keep rubbing together.

What do you plan to accomplish posting on Wickedfire, reading thuper-affiliate blogs, and hanging out on IRC all day? Someone going to drop a huge turd of knowledge on you and you’re rich within days?

None of this shit does any good for the time spent doing it. It’s all a fucking time sink. Why? Because if you find some shit out in a public avenue (blog, forum, or what have you), you’re either too lazy to appreciate the shit that’s being said to even apply the shit, or too many other people know the shit and your efforts simply become a waste of time.

Now before you call me a hypocrite, keep in mind of the 3k+ posts I have on Wickedfire, most of them are no more than 5 words (usually containing the word dullspace) Of the 200+ readers in my blog, I can read them all within an hour and be done with it. I won’t lie; I can waste time with the best of them, but it’s something I’ve been working on and it’s what this post is about. Wasting time on dumb shit happens to the best of us.

So this post is about separating the real shit from the bullshit. You’re going to waste time online looking for information that will hopefully fatten your wallet. Here’s how to spend less time hoping and more time getting shit done (even if what you are getting done does not pay off immediately)

Part of this post was inspired by this one made over at You can read it first if you want, it’s short.

There are Two Methods to Make the Monies Online

Magic Bullet – Chances are you are one of these people – the one trolling blogs, forums, and chat rooms looking for clear-cut instructions on how to go from zero-to-hero in a week. You’re searching far and wide for something, Jesus Christ anything! that will make you the moneys, quickly and easily. The magic bullet that makes you bleed money when you shoot yourself in the leg with it.

You just want to get your empire set-up in a few days and retire!

Well fuck you buddy. It’s not going to happen. It will probably happen to 1 out of a 1,000 people, and this one lucky fucker will blog about it saying how easy it is and it will only give you and everyone else more false hope.

Don’t get me wrong. There are magic bullets. Everybody that is somebody has at least one, but no one in their right mind is going to give you the loaded gun. You think someone who has spent months or years of their life or thousands upon thousands of dollars is going to tell you exactly what works? No, idiot, nobody is going to tell you shit!

Hard Work – Legitimate, long hours at the computer while your boys go party it up on Saturday Night. Pushing 80 hours weeks and then some.

This is called hard work. Have you heard of it? Pave your own way, you lazy fuck. This is what being an entrepreneur (not just an affiliate) is about. And we’ll get into why in a moment…

More than just Affiliate Marketing

There are far too many opportunities when it comes to making money online. You will never know it all. Believe it or not, cheap media buy traffic + flog is not the only way to make money. Everywhere you look there is an opportunity.

If all you do is read affiliate marketing blogs, you’re just going to read the same, regurgitated shit that everyone else is doing. Most people don’t know what they are talking about and will only lead you down a road that wastes your time.

Affiliate marketing is just the tip of the iceberg. Sure it’s probably the fastest way to make money online with no other knowledge, and people make a good living, but it is not the only way. There’s more than one way to fuck a fat bitch.

You can make a killing buying established sites that are missing your skills, for a few grand, doubling the traffic with some good content and SEO, and selling them for multiple times what you bought it for.

You make a website that dominates just one niche, one city, whatever. If you are king of the mountain you can monetize it.

You can provide just one service that will generate a million dollars a year.

You can “borrow” just one idea for a game and pull in a million a month because you can monetize it better. just sold for $170 million because it provided a service that people wanted, and it did it better than competitors. It was a long-term (well, 3 years) plan that made nobody rich until the very end.

Domainers saw opportunity while you were chatting to girls on AOL 3.0

It’s not all about pushing berries.

Part 2 Tomorrow….

  • I have 700 < 5 word posts in 2 months on WF.

    I love life.

  • Fuck that Barman. I’d rather just sit at home in my wife-beater, drinking beer, getting high, and reading…

  • “There’s more than one way to fuck a fat bitch” made me spit out part of my ham sandwich.

  • lulz “There’s more than one way to fuck a fat bitch”

    Diagrams or it ain’t true.

  • Edward

    You’re killing me.

    Get back to the short posts.

  • “There’s more than one way to fuck a fat bitch.”

    I smell an ebook deal on this. Maybe a whole get in deep behind the scenes youtube video. A webinar. A private mastermind forum. You could SEO that phrase and be #1.

    Here’s the catch. I want a review copy.

  • I’ve been thinking about that bold statement all day. The only way I can come up with is “in the dark, with the lights out, and my eyes closed”.

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  • rawbones

    there are way way way way more ways to money up online than fuck teh fatties.

    make obama monies..fuck teh fried jello..make short post on WF..WIN

  • Always a good laugh…keep em coming!

  • DotNose

    FINALLY a quality post. I was about to unsubscribe from this blog

  • God this is easily the best blog out there. Fuck all the lemmings following those thuper-affiliates. Let them be led off the cliffs.

    And remember kids, when you can’t find the hole, fuck a roll.

    Get paid bitches

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  • FadedDirtBag

    good shit

    PS that EWA banner is ghetto as fuck, neon green and brown ramps, whats the CTR on that? hehe

  • I agree with you regarding the Hard work.. sort of… the second option would be to outsource all the easy, time-consuming tasks.. that’s how top IM gurus do… you can’t do it all by yourself, but you outsource the blog commenting, article marketing, video creation part, and all the tasks that other guys can do it on freelancer or odesk for just a few bucks:D