Nobody is Going to Tell You Shit Part 2

After trying to write some long, meaningful post last night, I had to take a step back. Too much babbling and not enough quality shit. I truly felt like jon on one of his addy benders where he posts a novel about nothing, and everyone is like “WTF?”

It’s a bright and early morning and my head is clear.

So what was I getting at?

Well, everyone leaches for information, whether it’s something to get started or the next big thing. Newbies, earners, and ballers all do it, some more than most. Leaching tips and ideas is part of the game. But, if you rely on it too much and don’t spend enough time putting in work, you’re going to get fucked.

Let’s look at all the shit out there and see if it is bullshit or some shit that will actually be useful.

People Who Do Know Shit but Will Waste Your Time

You know those people… the dreaded “super affiliate” bloggers. You might have seen one of their checks, or their posts bragging about how much they make. They make money no question, but will not tell you a fucking thing worth knowing.

Let’s call them the Zac Johnsons.

Their posts are generally bullshit. The consist of either

  • 1. Bragging, bragging, and more bragging. No one gives a fuck how much you make. The only thing you are doing is making newbies think “shit this affiliate thing easy! Let me try it!” then they jack up bid prices. It is not “inspirational” If you truly wanted to change some lives you’d complain about how many hours you work and the struggle it took to get there.
  • 2. Selling you Something – If they’re not bragging, chances are they are selling you something. Selling out is fine, but not when you don’t even review the product, because if you did you’d realize it’s bullshit (Volk is actually on the few blogs worth reading he just lost mad brownie points for that post, especially after he didn’t approve my comment. Why am I so bitter over internet drama?)

All these morons like John Chow, all they do is make newbies think, “I just need to write a blog about making money and I will make money. If this buck-toothed clown can do it, so can I!” Then after a year and a half they are wondering why no one cares about their blog.

How to apply this shit – Stop reading these blogs and following these people. If you have to, read the headline and move on. This is not the fucking gospel. Once in a blue moon something worth knowing is posted, but it’s 99% bullshit. This means people like Mike Filsaime and Frank Kern, who make a killing but do it by selling their junk to the lowest common denominator.

People Who Do Know Shit and Will Not Waste Your Time

Promoting networks, products, and services on your blog is all part of the game. I mean, something has to pay these hosting costs and .bz renewal fees?

But I never understood why some of these popular writers just spew bullshit – like the hasOffers fiasco. Just because you have a following, you think you can write about something by copy-pasting the products sales page and people will jump on it?

How about you take a few minutes to review a product, providing some actual instruction on how to use it, and actually make some money? Or drop some knowledge that won’t affect you anymore but might make somebody some money?

This is why Nickycakes was so successful. He dropped bombs on his blog and promoted the offers on Advaliant, and told you which offers to push. He alone turned Advaliant into a player, all while earning a handsome commission.

This is why Ruck was so successful with CashTactics before he started his network.
“Here’s an idea, and the network to promote it on. Now sign up under my affiliate link”

The best recent example I’ve seen of this being done is Eli’s Autopligg Review. Although it’s long, it’s the most-straightforward method to use Autopligg successfully. Now go buy it through his affiliate link.

How to apply this shit – If you’re a reader, spend more time reading the blogs of people who know what they are talking about, rather than those trying to sell you something every other post.

If you’re a blogger, realize that if you want staying power, or if you want to grow a following, you are going to have to give something up. Whether it’s something that works, used to work, how to use something else works, it’s all about providing some value to your readers.

And if you’re some newbie blogger looking to copy John Chow, just give up now. No one is going to sign up through your affiliate link, and if anybody does they are a bum because no real affiliate takes your blog seriously. What’s a 3% on $0 anyway?

Of course you can just write about how much you make. Just write big numbers and write it out to the last penny. Lying about it is fine. People will flock to you like you were the second coming of Jesus. “OH HELP ME MAKE THE MONIES LAWD!”

Your Brain Will Tell You Shit

When you think about your work, you get ideas. Whether these ideas come on the shitter, while looking at lolcats, or while you’re on a 3 day bender, we all get ideas and some are actually good. This mushy grey shit in our head can bust out some really good ideas when it wants to.

But if you’re not doing anything, like you have no campaigns, no web properties, no plan, your ideas are junk. You think of things that will take a lot of work that you never get around to doing. Your brain has no fuel and it just spits out whatever it thinks will make you some money.

If you actually have a project going, a campaign, whatever – you think of ideas to improve what you are doing. Maybe you thought up some great link-bait for your blog, a new thing to split test on your LP, a new service to add to your accounting tools web application, or “Damn! Why didn’t I think of asking him for tips on this media buy campaign. It’s been a while since we talked.”

How to apply this shit – Get to work fucking work. Applying one idea to something that is already working is worth more than some big idea that only exists in your head.

Friends Will Tell You Shit

Real friends will tell you shit. The people who you’ve had a long relationship with online, or offline at an Affiliate Summit or Meet-up, whatever.

Learn how to make friends in this industry. You don’t do it by asking “So how much do you make?” within the first 5 minutes of a conversation. It can take weeks or months, but time in a relationship is something we cannot buy. Call time an investment if you want.

You’re in it for the long-haul right, not just looking to make a million in a week?

How to apply this shit – Make some friends? I don’t know what to tell you here loser.

People Who Want to Make Money Off Of You Will Tell You Shit

There are people that will definitely tell you shit because they are making money off of you. In this example, we look at affiliate networks.

Affiliate managers at networks will definitely tell you shit because they make money off of you. And if you know anything, you know that there are some dumb ones that can barely write an e-mail, and some that know more than you ever will, and everything in between.

So avoid the bullshit from managers that send you a daily IM of “OMG NEW HOT OFFERS.”

Well no shit these are hot new offers, but I don’t promote this niche so why do I care?

Find an affiliate manager who actually gives a fuck and knows what they are doing. Not to name names, but a few examples of these people would be the guys at Convert2Media, the players at EWANetwork, and maybe Geoff at Advaliant when he’s not modeling underwear.

How to apply this shit – Work with a networks and affiliate managers worth their salt.

People Who Don’t Know Shit and Repeat Other Peoples Dumb Shit

There are so many people out there that don’t know shit. The internet is fucking full of them.

I call it the “Idiot Echo Chamber“. These people who dedicate their lives to Warrior Forum or Digital Point, writing thousands of thousands of words that mean nothing.

How to Apply This Shit – This is pretty simple. Don’t read Warrior Forum or Digital Point. Use it to sell shit or buy cheap labor, but don’t actually read it. This applies to Wickedfire too, because if you haven’t noticed 99% of threads and posts there are either pointless, or written to deter others from learning anything of value to reduce their competition.

Other People’s Shit Will Only Get You Down

If you think you get inspired by people who post their success and earnings, you’re wrong. Money is the wrong tool for motivation for the majority of people.

If it is your sole motivation you will end up losing motivation quickly. And as long as you are not printing the money supply and do not have lobbyists working CONgress for funds, it will almost universally hold true that someone dumber than you who doesn’t work near as hard will earn more money

Quote from Aaron Wall

This is why the majority of newbies fail when they live by “super affiliate blogs.”

The $1 mil affiliate post on C2M is inspirational not because of the number, but because if you read between the lines you know this guy puts in hard work.

How to apply this shit – It’s not fucking easy to make money online. It’s either going to take a lot of time or a lot of money, or both. If it was easy for you, good for you – but for everyone else it is going to be the hardest thing you have ever done.

You Don’t Appreciate Shit Anyway

Call it what you will, but even the most clear-cut instructions on how make money will be met with laziness and resistance. There are numerous posts on Wickedfire that provide great examples of building some sort of property that can make you money for a long time. (Local Niche Directory, Site Flipping, etc)

The problem is so many people do not appreciate the shit that is being given to them. Why? Because it takes work – “but I don’t want to work! I want to make lots of money online working one hour a day from the beach!”

Even if someone drops some knowledge that is easy to apply, there will still be shitheads that want something easier.

How to apply this shit – You’re going to waste your life looking for the quickest, easy way to make money online. Those years have past and now it’s actually challenging. Even the multi-millionaire domainers, who earned their keep with something as simple as domain names, put in there 80 hour weeks in the 90s when competition was minuscule.

Learn to appreciate what it really takes – whether it’s affiliate marketing, building a long-term subscription service, starting an affiliate network, or building a website with plans of a buyout by Google or another big company. Whatever it is, it is going to be harder than anything you ever did.

Fuck What You Heard.

Information is useless until you apply it and test it on your own. You may have heard that this image works, this headline works, this link-building strategy works – it’s all moot unless you apply it to your own empire to see if it works.

If you blindly follow information without testing you’re going to get fucked. If you are sitting around waiting for information about the next big thing, you’re going to get fucked but it will happen over a longer time period.

Time is one thing we do not get back. Spend too much time looking for information that you think will change your life and you’ll look back in a few years and say “What the fuck have I done? Nothing.”

That’s why it is important to optimize where you time is spent – build quality relationships, work on projects with long-term value, and rely on only the sources of information that you can trust, that are not in the business of wasting your time.

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  • At least Volk approves the comment spam from “Diabetis” and “bathroom mirrors” ;-)

  • Acemenace

    Maybe you need to write your posts early in the morning more often.

  • rawbones

    Fuck you for motivating the sheeple. Stop that shit now!

    Now I gotts get back to making teh obama monies.

  • Tobsn


  • itchy

    unfortunately you missed one. some of us have cracked how to work smarter. i spent the summer researching time management. result? “eat that frog” + “four hour work week” = i can get my old 10 hour work day stuffed into an hour before breakfast.. then spend the rest of my day earning more or dipping my toes into the gulf of thailand..

  • AlmostGivingUp

    Good post here barman. Whats about those working their asses off and don’t see much success? Better quit the shit or believe in what they do?

  • Lord Brar

    Fuck Barman! Are you high this early today? Stop getting high dude, you are starting to make sense.

  • newjersey

    this post motivated me to waste more of my employer’s time not working while working on aff marketing instead.

  • @ itchy. Eat that Frog is excellent. Not a huge fan of 4-hour, but both are good reads.

    @ newjersey – that was the plan.

  • stumpyb

    good shit!

  • Hannah

    Good fucking post.

  • Tom

    Thank you for this.

  • Really good stuff. Chow stopped doing all the paid posts, thank God. Google and him had a talk and they let him in if he stopped all the crap.
    Shoemoney complains about blogging and having to blog cause it’s a big waste of time. Seems like you are on the same page.

  • lol!!! really cute shit. I have learned more from this post. Thanks for sharing this.

  • Legit information Barman. Keep keeping it real.

  • I enjoy this post.

  • xentech

    “Idiot Echo Chamber” ROFL.. so true.

  • So fucking true. Keep it up barmang, stay classy bro.

  • I have not approved your comment yet because I am on my honeymoon. ;)

    Too busy with other things until today (she’s still asleep). :P

  • Ed R

    Simply incredible.

    Anyone not seeing the investment of time and mind dump in this post is a fu@&%ing moron!

    Thanks for the share
    Specially your comments about the f’ing gurus sucking the blood out of this industry by ripping off the lowest common denominators

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  • mo

    Wow. Now only if I had read something like this years ago, I wouldn’t have spent a small fortune on what the gurus were selling. Buyer beware. Excellent post. Still get into the “get rick quick” mentality but realize that there is no “get rich quick” scheme out there. You gotta work, work work to make it in ANYTHING you do. Whether it’s affiliate marketing or career.

  • Greg

    An honest no bullshit post. That’s some refreshing shit. Wake up and smell the coffee shits! :-)