Category Archives: Old School PPCbz

AKMG Questions the Journalistic Integrity of PPC.bz

Frankly, I am shocked and appalled.

The cackling hens at AKMG wrote this post with some social media advice. It’s actually pretty funny, but I have to focus on one point here.

There was a piece of writing directed right at me, saying:

So Barman stop trying to stare down the shirt of your affiliate managers on the fly because it’s never gonna happen, no matter how scientific you get, so get back to optimizing that blog.

WELL I NEVER!

The story is that AKMG hired some new people, and one is, from what I can tell, is a girl that looks a lot like Sloan from Entourage. Her name is Lennisse(oooo, sounds exotic) and what I’ve been trying to get to the bottom of [hmm, my grammar makes that sentence sound quite naughty]

Now, what they have been calling “stalking” is what I call journalism. I have a civic duty to my readers to get the facts, and the one fact I’ve been most concerned with is if the new girl there looks like a really hot celebrity.

I mean 15 calls a day, hired detective (my cousin Tony from network.ppc.bz, and 400 private messages- may be a little excessive, but I gotta do what I gotta do. Geraldo would have nothing less!

So they are under the impression that I’m trying to look down shirts. Ptfff…. I am far more classier than that.

Plus I there’s nothing I can do. I’m tall. It’s physics man.

If you haven’t noticed AKMG’s latest push into social media, well, it’s what all the cool networks are doing. Even Ruck has been a busy beaver doing interviews, fighting in the matrix and other social interactions with readers.

In fact, AKMG took on an intern (former intern but they might pay him now, but it’s still cool to have someone called “the intern” around) to do their twittering for them. They got a goddamn twitter bird!

An Interview with Amber at AKMG

I had to talk to Amber to get to the bottom of all the drama. Here we talk about what it’s like being a girl in the affiliate industry, stiletto heels, a new platform [theme], and non-payments from advertisers. Follow along as we delve into the world of a female network owner that likes Goose.

Before you start thinking Barman is a Volk nut-sucking fagg0r, “Interviewing people? SELL OUT!” – This interview was done on the fly, not from some template of questions. And it’s not going to be a recurring theme, so don’t get your hopes up

Who are you and what do you at AKMG

Amber in the middle.

Amber Paul: My exact title is vice president, but i am also one of the co-owners of AKMG. i head up the network, primarily the affiliate side of the company but i do everything from PR, compliance and bill collecting. I also am the head organizer for all the Meetup 202 events in Southern California, which was a recent role i took on thanks to the fabulous Wes Mahler.

Fabulous indeed. How do you feel about Wes’ recent re-acquirement of 202
I am thrilled for him! I know the past 6 months has been extremely draining both physically and emotionally so I am just glad to see him at ease again. I know the future holds good things for him. I think a lot of affiliates and other industry folks feel the same way. the whole bloosky / 202 thing was pretty much the saddest story of affiliate marketing until Wes reacquired everything

What’s your opinion on that?
So want an honest opinion? I think sometimes in this industry people just let greed take them over and say anything to close / sell someone and when the truth surfaces is when things fall apart. This industry moves so fast that if you cant keep your word everyone will know about it.

Honestly, I didn’t follow along, nor care too much personally
Maybe you should get with the gossip barman! stop staring down your affiliate managers shirt!

Touché. How do you feel 202 will fair against the new Bevo platform?
Ask me that question in 2 weeks because I’m still in the process of comparing the two … maybe i will do a new blog post.

So what can you tell us, the readers of PPC.bz, about the 2 new hires you have over there. Mr intern and Ms Sloan-look-alike?
Haha, Well the Sloan-look alike is an Amber Paul is training! Shes ultimately going to be an extension of myself. I’ve been so buried in the day to day grind with affiliates, advertisers, our internal media buying, and writing blogs that rip on everyone.

That i haven’t been able to put as much attention as i like on the higher level decisions and strategy of the company with my partners.

I’m training Sloan to be a shark. So watch out! She already tricked some guy trying to get her wasted at a party with tequila shots. His plan backfired because he got shit-faced from the tequila shots, while she just took shots of water when he wasn’t paying attention.

Note: Amber skips over talking about the intern. HAHA Intern go get some coffee!

So that’s the training she’s getting. not so much office work, but more how to deal with drunk ass guys?
Haha, Shes getting trained on everything from managing my credit card receipts to giving affiliates good offers.

How do you feel about your new interface?

I LOVE IT! Hitpath told is we by far have the best interface design. We’re building out a section with email tips and tools because we want to really put a big focus on emailers.

Do you find it sexy like me?
Well yeah, there are pictures of Eleah and me on it!

I mean come on… I’ve been running networks for 5 years… I know the drill. Pictures of hot girls means more attention. Just kidding!

THEY EVEN PUT IT IN A BOX!

So, what is it like then? Being a woman in pretty much a man’s world? Breaking down barriers and what have you?
You mean boys world?

Haha, true true
Okay well to be honest, sometimes its really frustrating because a lot of men / boys / children in this industry think they can talk to females anyway they want because they are ” desperate” for their traffic. I’m the owner of the company and I still have people send me inappropriate text messages

Sorry but i don’t need anyone’s traffic to the point of lowering myself to a prostitution level. Also in some cases, i think that some men wont take the time to hear me out because i am a female. I cant tell you how many times i have to ask my partner Steven to step in and help me certain situations just because he is a man.

Usually being a female just means demanding respect and proving that you deserve it as opposed to just getting it off the bat.

Do you just snap a finger, “STEVEN, MY LIGHT WORK PLEASE.”
TOTALLY. It’s more like ” Hey Steven… um this guy is a jackass and a woman hater… can you handle? ”

So do you think its a good or bad thing having that mostly women working there (as far as i can tell from the glamor shots all over the social media.), compared to the studly sausage-fest at C2M?
We are actually getting a little more even on the girl to guy ratio. I mean Ruck does look better in stilettos than I do. (Pics or gtfo!)

I think a group of attractive AND intelligent women is a very powerful force… But I swear I don’t just hire girls…. I hire people that can sell damn it and work hard! i think AKMG has done a great job of establishing that we know what we are talking about and we are easy to work with because we aren’t your typical affiliate marketing airheads. My partner Kimberlee White used to run the sales side at Hydra and I built the Bloosky network in less than 2 years time… so i think that speaks for itself.

What’s the point of hiring someone just because they are hot? Hot doesn’t always bring the bacon my friend… Especially after those good looks fade or those hair extensions fall out!

Whats your networks policy on payments to affiliates. How is your network going to address the backlash from affiliates getting worried about late payments?
Well to be honest… We don’t extend terms to just anyone. Being a network can be really fucking stressful when it comes to cash flow because advertisers quite honestly don’t really care if they pay you late. They already got the traffic so they are happy … and since there are 5000 networks now they figure if they burn one network then they can just move to another.

In regards to policy, it’s on a case by case basis in regards to payterms. We will always always pay even if we don’t get paid… which is hard to fathom sometimes because i would love to have more stiletto heels… but it’s the obligation as a network owner.

I think networks shouldn’t extend ridiculous terms to fly by night advertisers. What’s the point of booking revenue if you aren’t going to get paid? it’s just a number on a screen until it hits your bank account.

Don’t extend what you cant float… i know it’s a crazy concept…. it basically goes back to basics of not spending what you don’t have.

Can i get some sexy pics to toss in this post?
Haha ill see what i can find.

I had to rip this from hotchickswithdouchebags.com

There you have it

Looking for a network run by real people that moonlight as actors on HBO Shows? Backed by trivial things like, “good managment and experience,” then try AKMG. LOOK MA NO AFFILIATE LINKS!

Pothead Frank Kern Reveals His Secrets

This is actual footage of Frank Kern, guru mastermind that makes 7 figures pawning shit to newbs, revealing some of his secret tips. Which include – smoking weed, takings hits, and getting toasty.

As much as I love to rail on the goorus, this video is honestly funny as hell.

Puppets man. Puppets.

Will Everyone Just Shut the Fuck Up Already?

Reading affiliate marketing blogs these days is like reading Cosmo or some other tabloid – it’s the same shit over and over to sell more copies.

If you haven’t noticed the next big trend is Local Lead Gen.

But let’s go back a few months, when the popular thing to talk about was PPV. “Everyone” (using the term loosely) got their Adwords accounts banned for pushing flogs, so affiliates needed a new traffic source to push their wares. So it was non-stop post after post about PPV and how it was the hot new shit and if you did PPV then you were a thuper affiliate.

Well, fuck faces, since every tard on the planet decided to jump on PPV, bid prices aren’t what they used to be, and the traffic source is a much tougher nut to crack. Pulling a number out of my ass, it’s safe to assume 95% of people have failed with PPV.

So the next big thing everyone is talking about is Local Lead Gen. The good thing about Local Lead Gen is that its near impossible to fuck up. You can get really niche and location specific, and no matter how many bloggers yap about it, chances are slim you’ll run into a direct competitor (for at least the next few months or years.)

Dealing with Local Clients Sucks

I haven’t read the Local Lead Plan that everyone is talking about, so maybe it addresses some of my concerns. Maybe not.

But the fact is, dealing with local business owners is a monumental headache. You might have the skills to land a client that can pay you a hefty sum per month, recurring with no drama, but you’re probably going to end up with a lot of smaller clients all giving you headaches. (especially if you’re new to the internets.)

The beauty of affiliate marketing is few headaches (in terms of customer service). When you start dealing with people, and they are paying you money, they want to think they fucking own you.

And business owners are fucking cheap too. They are some cheap motherfuckers for real.

So if you got a boner reading about local lead gen, you better have your shit together. That means at least one person to deal with the clients and another to make the sales if you have no sales skills. If you think you’re going to get rich with a one-man shop when you have 0 skills, you better slap yourself.

You need skills to land the bigger clients (medium to large businesses) if you want to earn the money you deserve for all the headaches. Or you need to figure out some of that automation. Either way, if you think dicking around with local business owners is a way to get rich then kill yourself.

Fact: There is Nothing New

All I really want for Christmas is this bandwagon jumping to stop. My point is that the people that chase the “hot new thing” or read affiliate marketing blogs religiously are fucking stupid.

Local lead gen isn’t anything new. It’s been happening for years. PPV isn’t new. Pay Per Click isn’t dead. Adwords still lets you advertise. Oh yeah, and I’m pretty sure people still make money with good ol’ fashioned SEO.

Fact: Everything fucking works. If its on the internet then someone, somewhere, is making money with it. And they’re making money because they stuck to it, and if you think someone is going to give out techniques that make a lot of money then you’re a sucker.

There are so many ways to make money online, but nothing is going to happen for you if you are some hype-chaser. Stop wasting your time and become an expert in something, instead of nothing.

/ end rant.

Shit. I meant to say: Affiliate marketing is dead.

Update: I told you so?

Just an hour or two after I posted this …. I checked my shit box (throw away email for Guru news and promotions) and sure enough I saw this nonsense…

Main Street Marketing Bullshit

Fuck this industry. Seriously.

Andrew Wee Performs Worst Case Study in History

Everyone’s talking about this PPV thing, so it was only a matter of time before one of the greatest thinkers in affiliate marketing gave his say on it. Andrew Wee, blogger and photo-whore extraordinaire, committed to a 2-week case study to see what PPV was really all about.

You can read Wee’s case study here if you’d like.

To get the gist of Wee’s case study, here are his statistics:

Assigned daily budget: $10/day
Total views: 627
Total spend: $7.47
Average daily spend: $0.30


Total number of conversions: 0
Net profit/loss: -$7.47

WOAH! WHAT A CASE STUDY! SOMEONE GET ME IN TOUCH WITH A SCIENCE JOURNAL SO WE CAN PUBLISH THESE RESULTS!

So basically Wee did a 2 week case study that made no conversions. If it didn’t make conversions, is it really a case study? Isn’t it like dividing by zero? It’s something that you can’t do.

Let me give you some advice from a semi-experienced PPV marketer.

First off, you might want to stick to only one pop a day. With an average of 45 views a day, this is way too much. Anything over 2-3 views a day can lead to analysis paralysis (when you spend too much time thinking about the data rather than doing.) Having too much data is somethings a bad thing, so stick with what you can put on one page of an Excel document.

If you don’t convert on every single view then you’re obviously doing something wrong.

Second, I don’t get how 6,000+ urls can only yield 45 views day. Wee must have been scraping the anus of the SERPS for targets, because it makes no mathematical sense to me. Maybe because he ran on DirectCPV and it sucks ass? Hopefully they don’t jack this winning campaign from Wee.

Third, with a 30 cent a day spend, Wee is really balling harder than most people reading his case study. I recommend that Wee bring that down a lot, because the most newbs won’t have that much to blow. For PPV to really work, you have to spend a decent chunk of $$ to just gather data and split test everything. If you can’t hang with that 30 cent a day spend then you’re not going to get statistical relevance from your campaigns.

All in all, PPV is really where its at and I look forward to more case studies from Wee. With everyone jumping on PPV, the bidding wars are going to get fierce, so you need to know what you’re doing.

When the next blogger asshole posts his “winning PPV campaign and landing page” and 50 newbies do the same exact campaign, sending bids through the roof, you will have the head start because you are following the true pioneers, one which is Wee.

God have mercy.

Should We Put the Offer on the Network?

Are you an affiliate network?

Are you having trouble deciding if you want to put that offer on your network?

Please use this handy chart for your decision making process.


The Musings of a Genius: Nick Throlson

How high am I? High enough to write this post. I had to celebrate 420 readers.

I know Nickycakes talked about Nick Throlson before, in his 10 worst blogs post, but I feel like this video deserves some special attention.

If you’re new to affiliate marketing, you can learn a thing or two from Nick Throlson’s video. It is truly full of insight into how this internet thing works. Like if you’re sitting there, pants on the ground, you might be wondering how people can make monies online – obviously everything out there has already been thought of.

So what can you do, lost child, about your mindset to get your paper right? You have to think outside the box. You have to have time to think.

You have to think … in the park.

Some of you people have seen this video before but didn’t quite grasp its genius. This is why I’m writing these notes – so you can get all the juicy information Nick drops on your heads.

Alright bro-ski. We’re gonna talk about full websites versus landing pages. Why? Because that’s a common question among everyone in the industry. We need to know what works better – but different people have different opinions. Let’s analyze Nick’s expertise on the matter.

Here’s what Nick thinks about landing pages.

1. Lot of affiliate marketers don’t know how to make a full website so they
2. Hire someone for 60 bucks. Get an LP Done. Slap it up.
3. Put some offers on them, and review them.
4. Do some PPC.
5. ……
6. $$$$

See this shit is easy!

But! BUT! If you use WordPress, because it has plugin for SEO, or Jamula for Meta Tags, you can save a lot of time. A lot of that time can be spent making money.

You can build a full website and just make a profit off of it by adding an aWeber form.

Ranking SEO vs Ranking PPC

Nick talks about the reasons why you might want to make a full website, because you can rank it SEO, all while ranking it PPC. What’s the difference between the two? For newbies it might be tough to understand, but if you collect opt-ins you can get a lot better conversions.

Some people here might disagree with Nick Throlson about ranking SEO. I call those people idiots. Nick is an expert in the field so you better know your shit before arguing with his facts.

Which Networks to Work with

Another great tip for newbs. Say you want to start making like $20,000 a day. Which network do you sign up with so you can do that?

Nick recommends only the best networks, which are Hydra, Neverblue, and Market Leverage. Motive Interactive has some hotter offers too. What matters is that these networks treat you like a professional blogger, like if you were already John Chow or Shoemoney.

You see, in this industry, other networks treat you like crap. He might be talking about network.ppc.bz, where they pour hot candle wax on your neck beard when you sign up. These are the type of scoundrels you do not want to do business with.

Get Money Get Paid with Your Own Products

Nick talks about making your own product. He drops a little nugget of info and talks about how he is going to develop some WordPress plugins.

Why not just be an affiliate and not deal with customers, maintenance, and support?

Well, Nick smartly has new affiliates not putting all their eggs in one basket. This is good advice, because you never know when a niche can die. Like what if Acai berry died? What if the rainforests couldn’t produce any more berries?

That’s why you want to have your own product. Because when something like Res-V dies, you want to fall back on… you know… WordPress plugins. That’s really where the money is.

Side Note: ResV is pretty hot right now. I know this video is close to 2 years old. But ResV is like anti-aging in a bottle, so that can never get old right?

Networking and Dreaming the Internet

Definitely network. You can go to Meetup202s and find people to outsource to. When you do this affiliate marketing thing, you’re not going to know everything. So to make the monies online you just have to outsource things that you don’t know. You can surround yourself with other likeminded newbs and outsource to a different group at your Meetup.

More important that social interaction, of course, is reading forums. DigitalPoint, Wickedfire – they are all the same. The trick is to absorb it all. Get your mind full of informative posts on these forums. Trust me, you will learn a lot.

This is the best advice in the whole video. From about 4:20 (ironing) is the gold of Nick’s teachings. If you don’t watch the video just watch the clip. If you have watched the video, watch it again from 4:20 on.

Dreaming about these things means you’ll wake up with thoughts like “Woah I should make a landing page for acai berry” or “Woah, everybody is making money on these ringtones!” or “Woah Google Adsense pays you money for clicks? I need to get my friends click on my stuff.”

All great ideas.

You don’t want to be working all of the time. No, fuck that. Productivity is going to kill you fast. You need to spend time reading these forums, so instead of actually getting anywhere with hard work, you just come across a million dollar idea. With a great idea you can just go up to people and ask for investment because the idea is so good and they will give it to you.

So make ideas happen with outsourcing to people you meet at Meetups. WordPress and Jamula plugins are pretty much the future of making money online. Just make sure your “Donate Here” button is big enough! Split test it! You never know when Zwinkys is going to die because of government regulation.

The Real Truth behind PPC Classroom

You thought PPC.bz was going to leave you hanging without some good drama before Affiliate Summit West? Well, ye have little faith.

This is a story about PPC Classroom. It’s some newbie PPC coaching shit run by two guys. One person is Amit Mehta, who has a fancy “crib” in Boston somewhere. The other guy, who is less known, is actually the owner of it, and his name is Anik Singal. You would think Amit actually owned it with all the promotion he does for it, but you are wrong. He is just an affiliate / partner.

Make sure to remember the difference between these people because it is important. If you want to entertain yourself with the PPC Classroom sales page, you can read it here: PPCC

PPC.bz has more inside sources than the CIA, so I am always getting e-mails from people with leaked conversations, stories, and all types of shady drama. This is one such instance of juicy inside information. This is direct from an inside source at PPC Classroom.

The charlatans in this industry are everywhere you look. I have a problem with PPC Classroom because it charges people close to $100 a month for information that doesn’t teach them shit. It’s all bullshit. Newbies sign up thinking they will see instant riches, but get led down the road to failure. There are some many over-hyped, bullshit products in this space it is near impossible to find anything worth buying.

It’s all fucking hype and very little substance, and products like these fleece people for their hard-earned dollars they made working the manager’s position at Burger King.

I hate “Gurus” PPC Classroom is going under, but we’ll save that part for the end of this post.

Let’s get this road on the show!

Amit Doesn’t Actually Know Adwords

How does someone who doesn’t actually know Adwords going to teach people about … Adwords? I don’t fucking know.

Source says: Amit only had like 2 successful campaigns. One was a regcure campagin, and one was public records. Thats it. I saw inside his Adwords account and it was a complete joke. He basically got REALLY lucky. I mean he had adgroups and keywords stuck all over the place. It looked like some total newbs account, basically nothing like anything he teaches.

PPC Classroom has survived this long without being exposed for the shit that it is because they hire “coaches.” Coaches are just regular people that get paid by PPC Classroom to be active on the forum, help people, and all that shit. Do you think Amit is spending his day with hands newbie-hand-holding? No.

Granted, Amit did cash in on Adwords. This is nothing to scoff at. But the fact that he is leveraging this luck into a coaching program is the crock of shit.

It’s comparable to writing a “How to win big playing slot machines!” book. Do you think Amit ever told people what he was promoting so they can make money “Step-by-step” like he was doing? Fuck no.

Inside source says: “We would have webinars, etc and he wouldn’t be able to answer questions from students about somewhat basic stuff.”

Amit has no doubt made money pushing Guru snake oil than he ever had made with Adwords.

Now you may be bugging out thinking I’m a dickhead for outing his niches. See the next section.

Amit Got Banned from Adwords. Twice.

Amit is already running his mouth, teaching people how to not get banned from Adwords. Motherfucker, you got banned twice!

Direct from leaked convo:

Amit says: “I got banned twice. Every affiliate site I put up is getting slammed!”

Full. Of. Shit.

PPC Classroom Sells Out Its Students

This is nothing earth shattering. If you have a group of buyers you want to upsell them, mail them, whatever you can to squeeze out the pennies from their wallets.

So any time a new guru shit head product comes out, the PPC Classroom people get their customers to buy that shit so they can earn a handsome affiliate commission.

Inside source says: “So they made $700k from the Google Cash Detective Lanuch. Basically Amit hyped it for all he could and ALL the students bought into it. Well, obviously a month later when the students still hadn’t made any money they were all pissed…then Amit came out and was like…”oh you don’t really need that.”

It’s one big Guru circle jerk.

PPC Classroom had False Testimonials

Inside source says: On their latest launch they had fake testimonials. I think they took them down now but several of the testimonials were from the COACHES, not students of PPC Classroom. They (testimonials) said how Amit helped them earn millions, etc…just flat out lying.

They had a director of education who was basically in charge of teaching students and overseeing coaches and she had never done any affiliate marketing herself. I really don’t think he (Anik) is an affiliate. He doesn’t seem to know wtf he is doing except for wearing aligator shoes.

Nuff said?

PPC Classroom is Going Under – Not Paying Its Affiliates

This is the real story. The shit up there was just trash talking Amit. Don’t put yourself out there if you don’t want some blow-back. He’ll live.

The bigger story is about Anik Singal. Apparently he is not a popular cat.

The parent company of PPC Classroom is Lurn.com, and word on the street is that they are going under. The conversation below Is between Amit himself and our insider, talking about the their PPC Classroom woes.

Amit: Lurn is on the verge of bankruptcy. They haven’t paid affilaites since September, and now they’re delaying my payments.
Insider: What happened to the company?
Amit: I have no idea, but they screwed me by not paying affiliates. No one was motivated to promote PPC Classroom 3.0
Insider: I got a weird vibe from Anik when I met him, like he could be shady or something.
Amit: LOL. He’s not doing anything shady. He likes openly SCREWING People.
——-
Insider: Does he owe them (affiliates) a lot of money?
Amit: Yes. His company is cash strapped.
Insider: I’m surprised affiliates haven’t complained publicly about it yet. Maybe they will.
Amit: They stop promoting. Good thing you left when you did.
Insider: Did the company just grow too fast or did he just spend too much money?
Amit: spent WAY too much, and every launch after Feb PPC Classroom 2.0 BOMBED
Insider: lol what will happen to the other coaches? They gonna get paid?
Amit: I don’t know man. it’s BAD
Insider: That’s ugly ….
Amit (posting an email from PPC Classroom):

“Hi Amit, sorry I did not respond as we have been swamped after the holidays. You have been very patient with payments and we really appreciate it. As you know the market has sucked and things have really slowed.

We are working on new sales initiatives, which are already starting to help. However, we have a backlog of commissions (back to September) that have not been paid.

I am hoping that you can help us and be patient for 30 days or so so we can sort all of this out.

Things are improving every day but I would like to prioritize Affiliate payments for a while or our sales will decline further. Let me know if we need to talk about this more but I assure you there is no concern of not getting paid, we just are in catch up mode right now.”

Lessons Learned

Are there any lessons to learn here? I don’t fucking know.

One thing is for sure – if you are a newbie then you need to not fall for this shit. If you spend your hours and minutes anticipating the latest Guru info product, you’re going to be spinning in circles forever. The majority of these programs are straight-up, crocks of shit. None of this shit is going to make you rich retard.

And if you promote PPC Classroom you better stop cause you’re not going to get paid.

Another thing is that affiliate networks hate these guru products. They get flooded with a bunch of newb-tards that have no idea what they are doing. Not only that, but a bunch of fraud applications to deal with as well.

Game. Set. Match.

Affiliate Marketing Shenanigans and Thieves

In an ongoing effort to separate the good shit from the bad shit, it is important to try and expose some of the shenanigans that are marketed towards affiliate marketers,especially newbies. I don’t feel like writing a novel here, so I will try to keep it short and sweet.

This is affiliate marketing drama at its finest.

PPC, CPV, Whatever the Fuck Coach

There is a certain series of Coaching forums you may have seen mentioned on various affiliate marketing circles. There are a few good testimonials, but the general consensus is this: utter shit.

The gripe I have with this Coach series is how the owner works his subscriptions. You sign up, and you’re on Month 1. The program may have been out for like a year…. so if that’s the case you are always a year behind as each month you stay subscribed, a new month opens up. Techniques are generally stale at this point.

I have first hand experience with CPV Coach. I signed up to the forum thinking I might learn a thing or two. Shit was I wrong. There isn’t a thing you can learn on this forum if you have half a brain and do you own marketing and research. I read through the forum when I signed up and thought, “What the fuck, the first affiliate marketing related course I pay for and I got whamboozled. This is shit!”

So I did a few more seconds of research which I should have done beforehand and realized I purchased the wrong course. I actually wanted to hit up PPV Forumla (by Gauher Chaudhry), and I fucked up and bought what can only be described as a cheap, Chinese knock-off.

I emailed Guaher Chaudry about this, and his extract response was –

CPVCoach is a rip off of my PPV Formula 1.0 course.
Cheers,
Gauher

Anyways I got my money back and decided to forget about the whole incident.

But today, I saw this highly comical post at Clint Lenard – The Truth Shall Set You Free!

Basically the “Coach” guy (I wish I could recall his name cause it is getting annoying calling him Coach guy”) was pissed off that Clint made a post exposing PPC Coach for the sham that it is. Then Coach-douche starts being buddy-buddy with Clint because Clint launched his own Affiliate Newbie Training (here)

You followin’ me camera guy? I know it’s getting confusing.

It turns out that Coach-douche and another worthless affiliate-blog writer have teamed up to try and rip off Clint’s Affiliit.

He partnered up with a guy we’ll refer to as Scaremiah Pooper, for privacy sake. Now Scaremiah has a long history of being an AIM chatter, who spends his days talking to people on AIM, and making outrageous claims. One day he claimed to be making $30,000 – and then 2 weeks later I hear he’s putting up a Million per month? Sweet!

FACT: Scaremiah is a complete newbie when it comes to SEO, and he’s been quoted by several people admitting this. He’s also been quoted as becoming a member on our site and giving props to our SEO information, stating that he’s learned a lot.

How can you go wrong partnering with a guy who post this kind of pretentious bullshit?

The moral of the story is the whole Coach series is run by someone who does not know what they are doing – they simply regurgitate information from someone that knows a lot more. If you base your whole business model ripping people off do not expect long-term success. Stop paying for his programs. That is all.

Arbitrage Conspiracy and Tin Foil Dildos

Conspiracy theories? No, not those kinds

There is another bullshit guru course floating around called Arbitrage Conspiracy. I’ve heard of it but haven’t read it, but if it’s promoted on Warrior Forum it must be good, right?

Well today, an inside source (I keep a few on the payroll) FWD’ed me an email from the Arbitrage Conspiracy people. Apparently they have spent all the money they “earned” ripping off newbies, and are back for round 2. For the record, my source who sent this email is a legitimately great affiliate marketer. He does the guru thing occasionally, but other than that excellent marketer.

On to the body of the e-mail. This whole Arbitrage Conspiracy email is a bunch of “complaints” about the course and their rebuttal. I told you that newbie ATM machine ran dry – now they’re back to clean up the mess.

We’ll just skip to the most important part –

7. Emmanuel and I Learned Everything We Know from Another CPA Marketer

This is unbelievable guys. I actually found out that some of our very own affiliates were saying this nonsense. Emmanuel took three different courses when he started and none of them took him to the next level.

I have never taken a ppc or cpa course. I was given one course as a gift, and it is sitting on a shelf somewhere in canada in shrink wrap. lol I know you probably have more concerns or might need clarification on a few matters.

And maybe you’re wondering about the rumors of the relaunch. ;)

The source who FWD’ed the email to me writes –

These (referring to the Arbitrage Conspiracy email) guys are fuckin insane.

I can’t even begin to tell you how many people have told me this course just plain sucks balls after a tennis match.

Not to mention affiliate networks called me and said they got a slew of new applicants that complained this course sucked and asked them on how to make money.

These guys literally learned everything from Gauher and now throwing it back in his face. They talk shit about a lot of people in this and webinar.

Anyway, these guys think their the shit cuz Stompernet was behind them. haha!

In Conclusion, Everybody Rips off Guaher

So if you want to start your own coaching program or guru newbie training program, the secret to success is to rip off Gauher Chaudhry. Plain and simple. There are few “gurus”(christ that word makes me feel filthy) worth listening to. Gauher is one of them.

If you’re a newbie, cop his shit – not these knock-offs.

Update: It has come to my attention that people might think this is a paid, requested, or a “favor” post for Gauher. Do you see an affiliate link?

I never “talked” to the dude, I just emailed him once about that incident and that was his response. He probably doesn’t even know who I am. Should he know? FUCKING RIGHT YOU BETTER KNOW! You see these guns on the side of the site?! YOU BETTER RECOGNIZE THE PAPER CLIQUE MOTHERFUCKER.

:: smokes joint::

OK I’m cool now. I should have grabbed something to pitch and make a commission or two off of but I am lazy with this site. Rumors are I will sell out thought.

PPC.bz Pranks – CPAHustle Punks Mike Filsaime

Damn! This some good automation!

The boys at CPAHustle.com call up Mike Filsaime’s office for some help. It’s fucking hilarious, and I have pretty high standards when it comes to funny.

Hit play below:

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