Perpetual Guru Launch – Save The Gurus

Setup a throwaway email and sign up to as many guru lists as you can. Faster than you can say “Fuck you Shoemoney,” your box will be filled with one guru email after another. They will promote their own products, and they will promote each other products just as hard. It just doesn’t stop.

Guru Product Release Schedule

Can’t seem to quench your thirst for guru product launches? Here’s a list of known product launches for the next 3 months. I can’t vouch for the accuracy but I don’t really give a shit. I stole it from here.

July 1st – Alex Shelton (With George Brown) – IM Elite
July 1st – Tom Bell + Shawn Casey – Fast Profit Pages
July 6th – Craig Dawber – Google Supremacy
July 6th – Anik Singal + Saj P. – Clickbank Wealth Formula
July 6th – Trey Smith – Penny Traffic
July 8th – Joe Walter + Tom Howe – Ultimate CPA Blueprint
July 12th – Matt Benwell – Rapid Automated Income
July 13th – Jani Ghaffor – FB Siphon
July 15th – Andrew Fox – Nuclear Affiliate
July 15th – Alan Magliocca – List Laundering 2
July 20th – Chris Freville – Internet Marketing Empire
July 22nd – Brian Johnson + Spike Humer – Vision Made Real Business Building 2.0 Summit
July 22nd – Anthony Jones – Affiliate Annihilation
July 24th – Russell Brunson – Instant Social Anarchy
July 27th – Mark Ling – AffiloJetpack
July 27th – Sean Clark – Slide In Code
July 27th – Pawan Agrawal – MaxBlogPress: Subscribers Magnet
July 27th – Mark Lyford – Millionaire Profit Secrets
July 28th – Ryan Deiss – Perpetual Traffic Formula
July 29th – Jeremy Schoemaker – ShoeMoney System 2.0

August 3rd – Ian Ross – Turbo Profit Sniper
August 3rd – Adam Horwitz – Mobile Monopoly
August 5th – Mind Movies 2.0
August 5th – Paul Lemberg – Blueprints To Profits
August 9th – Tim Godfrey + Steven Clayton – Info Prodigy
August 9th – Rob Benwell – Auto Blog System X
August 10th – Steven Johnson + Steven James – Online Income Flood
August 12th – Eric Rockefeller – Quick Cash Concept
August 17th – Chris Cobb – AIS Home Study Course
August 17th – Greg Jacobs -TBA
August 19th – Kieran Gill + Imran S – Auto Traffic Avalanche
August 23rd – Steven Lee Jones – Traffic Anarchy
August 24th – Bill McRea + Mike Williams – Never Fail Listbuilding System
August 26th – Ritoban Chakrabarti – CPA Instruments
August 31st – Sara Young – Easy Paycheck Formula

September 1st – James Francis – Web Design For Internet Marketers
September 7th – Alex Goad – Rank Builder
September 7th – Adeel Chowdhry + Bobby Walker – Hyper FB Traffic
September 14th – George Brown + Andrew X – TBA
September 14th – Norman Freeman – Turbo Business System
September 20th – Paul Ponna – Mega Software Launch (TBA)
September 21st – Oli Tee – Zero Down Traffic Blueprint
September 23rd – Jeff Johnson – TBA
September 28th – Mo Latif – TBA

I’m Worried

I’m worried for these gurus if it keeps going this way.

These people are getting rich selling the dream to the weak-minded individuals that love to empty their wallets for some hope. Well, some are getting rich. Many are copy-cats that are watering down watered down information.

The ones getting rich know how to sell the dream. But their success means people copy, and what you see is above is just a giant shit-ton of product launches. There’s about one every other day. Some days there are two launches!

Will They Run Out of Names?
Even with the the “Guru Name Generator” I’m worried that these gurus will run out of names. There are only so many ways you can mix the words ‘formula’ ‘system’ and ’empire’

With all of these product launches, it seems like there will come a point when they run out of names. This is similar to the internet running out of IP addresses. A very serious problem!

Will the Circle of Trust Become Too Big?
If you don’t know, now you know. The guru game is all about partnerships. You build your list, and they build theirs. Then you meet up and sell your shit to each others list. When people buy your shit, you upsell them someone else’s shit.

This works with a tight-knit group of people, but with so many people joining the “I don’t know shit about anything but I can pretend I do” game, the circle of trust gets too big. Pretty soon its not a circle, and its just a giant blob of bullshit. Where is the integrity?!

Will They Run Out of Customers?
LOL Is you stupid bro? Will diet advertisers run out of fat people?

Gurus love to email you. They don’t give a fuck. Some mail you once a week, but others like Howie Shitbag mail you 12 times a day. All these emails and all these gurus means we might run out of servers for sending the emails! The ConstantContact headquarters might explode!

But Really…
I’m only worried that the guru game might attract government attention. Out of all these product launches, there has to be SOME false advertising. (OK MOST of it is) One day a government organization like the FTC might step in and shut shit down. Gurus will have their Ferraris and beach front homes seized! The Horror! The Horror!!!

  • Review copy plz (1)

  • Circa Wealth Power featuring the Dullspace Content Upgrade

  • newjersey

    Maybe c2m will give out “gurus suck” tshirts at ase. I want to throw things at shoemoney.

    Guru systems have been promoted via infomercials for years though..these are just the new carlton sheets, don lupree,etc.

    I regard them as highly as I regard televangelists

    • Show some fucking respect. Don Lupre was my childhood hero.

  • sugerman

    Funny thing is, out of that entire list, there are only THREE of each left. Buy Now or they’re closing the doors FOREVER!

  • I want a Affilo Jet Pack!!!

  • Reall?

    I don’t particularly like gurus, but I do find it ironic that Affiliates, who make their living slinging shady offers (Acai offers that promise to melt pounds while you do nothing? Bizzops that promise instant millions?) are the same people that are most vocally bashing gurus. C’mon now – we makes our monies selling not-real diet offers and not-real business opportunities, and we have the balls to fault info-marketers for selling not-real info products? Please.

    • To Reall?-
      way to be the anonymous guru dipshit. Just because you’re hands are dirty selling shit u feel guilty about doesn’t mean affiliate marketing is 100% acai + teeth whiteners.

      Last i checked you can start an affiliate program up with any number of the millions of online businesses and get a percentage of profit based on promoting a real product, from a real store.

      Why don’t you get your head out of your ass… learn some seo… build an ecommerce store…import some datafeeds + market like the guru you claim to be. Hell, why don’t u go a step further, find a product and dropship it yourself? Or is that too hard for you to do and profit from? If so, stick to your guru ‘mastermind’ meetings….they’ll pay off when you’re re-writing your resume for the 9238 time.

  • That’s a hell of a list.
    And those info product name generators are addictive as hell.
    Now I wanna release the “Infamous Social Media Course”.

  • Jason

    YA’ll need to hide ya VISA, hide ya MASTERCARD, and hide ya PAYPAL, CUZ THEY RAPIN ERRBODY OUT HERE!

  • Mr. Nagasaki

    You’ll find a similar list at JVNotifyPro.com.

    Guru launches — and to a lesser extent, smaller-scale product launches — are based primarily on HOPE. People believe that by acquiring this “secret” information, their future may be assured. It’s the same principle as the lottery. You don’t buy the ticket, you buy the dream.

    The fact is that 90-95% of the people who buy these products don’t do a damn thing with them. Is that the fault of the “guru”?

    So everyone is ape-shit over Ryan Deiss and his $1997 Perpetual Traffic Formula. Is it worth the money? I don’t know because I haven’t seen it (yet), but I do know this… it’s all relative. Take a guy who is spending $1,000 a day on Adwords ads. If he finds even one little tip in there, it could save him thousands and the product is definitely worth the money. On the other hand, take a guy who has never made a dime online. He’ll just waste his cash because he’s either retarded (unlikely) or lazy (most likely).

    I say “fuck the gurus” and their million-dollar product launches too, but mostly because I’m not one of them. At least I can admit it.

  • Barman’s posts have inspired me to eat xanax and smoke again. Just saying.

  • IMV

    thank you for posting about the ‘guru’ circle jerk.

    you still missed some circles and cross overs, but trying to track this family tree is harder than deep-owods in-breeding genealogy .

    Sadly, just like those hideous off-springs. We are not going to see the death of this anytime sooon.

    Here is the ?

    Do we need tougher laws or does the populace need more intelligence ?

    You cant save those who dont want to and think you are stopping them from their destiny.

    Ask any cult and their followers. Which, funny enough, historically neither have done well.

    Just think about it ;)

    • Bergs

      I think we need more not-lazy people and product creators that actually want to move the customer past the advanced beginner stage.

      Most of these launches are based on some sort of results and if you put it to use I can bet that you will make some money with 80% of them.

      The problem /how I see it/ is that a number of them hype it to the point where its just “push button business” and that there are too many advanced-beginners that just don’t know what they want their business to be.

      I honestly don’t have anything against most of those people simply because when I did my research I found out that people are actually making money with these guru products (some of them).

      ….and they will continue to sell products because there will always be people that are new and they haven’t been sold before (or they have been sold very little).

  • Agreed. A lot of krap being flung around by people that aren’t qualified to fling it.

  • Cliffard_The_Dog

    There are some product creators who are definitely solid – real affiliates with fresh “tactics” like Gauher Chaudhry, Amish Shah and Philip Mansour, but the big issue with these guys (especially Amish & Philip) is that they are watering down traffic sources that us real affiliate use, and saturate real methods….

    So now, we have a shit ton of Newbs who don’t know what the fuck they’re doing and just up our bid prices, and all that good fucked up shit that messes with a campaign.

    Then… we have the real “Gurus” (the rehashers) who take these guys real affiliate tactics and put them in a ridiculous course like “Hyper FB Traffic” or “Traffic Blueprints” etc. and that just fucks us up even more!

    One day – there will be so much saturation with Newbs on all the traffic sources, it’s just going to fucking die out.

    It lookin like to get into another game, bigger and better like Stocks ?

  • I agree with most of this but Howie Shitbag sends quality trash.

  • Ehh,, let them multiply… it makes gaming whatever niche or tactic is working for you all that much sweeter when u look back and see all the crap that is being thrown down 99% of their heads for big bucks..

    Yes, i do believe there are real game-changing, money making tips in certain offers from specific people, but those are very few and far between. Why? Because they’re too busy making money using those tactics to sell them (which only leads to the eventual mass-spread of it via the internet).

    poop.

  • Time for another mortgage to pay for 10 more guru products that won’t help my business at all. Love the release.

  • I never understood this guru BS. If you are really making all this money that you claim, then why the hell would you want to tell the world, even more money, how to replicated that. That alone raises a flag big enough to just not buy the product. It’s retarded.

  • Tammy

    thanks for this. i am one of the fools that have bought into the dream, until i woke up. your web-site helps.