I’ve thought I’ve seen the bottom of the barrel in this industry. I thought wrong…
I have a gmail account I use for junk – you know signing up for guru lists when I don’t want to put my regular e-mail at risk. So once you’re on one assholes list, you get junk from them all. So I sign up to dumb shit just to see how bad it can get. And if it’s junk you want, it is junk you shall get!
I saw this e-mail for a product that looked like it made sense. But once you visit the lander – you realize it is something that needs to die with fire.
For People so Dumb It Hurts – InstantLP
InstantLP sounds like it has promise. “Oh, something to generate landing pages quickly and easily.” (Granted, that logic is flawed already with almost any ‘landing page’ solution – you want good results you need heavy customization)
But once you view the video (you shouldn’t if you need those few minutes of your life to do something else), you realize that this is the dumbest thing you will ever see. It shouldn’t exist. But I promise you, if you want a laugh – watch it!
Here are my thoughts after listening to the sale page video…
- It’s Like Dreamweaver, but retarded – Seriously, this is a fucking WYSIWYG editor in an application. I don’t get it. Why wouldn’t you just fucking install WordPress and manage a website with that? Or if you are the least bit computer literate, why wouldn’t you do this with Dreamweaver or other HTML application? You can do everything this stupid looking application does, but significantly better with WordPress or Dreamweaver.
- I outsource for a reason – I’m sorry, but the most retarded non-speaking foreigner can put together a better website that this horseshit can. This will not save anyone time. You will waste time getting your money back (Note: If you bought this or will buy it – email me your IP so I can blacklist you from ever reading PPC.bz again)
- It Builds Shitty Websites, Not Landers – Is it just me, or does this thing look like it just creates shitty websites? You choose from a slew of templates that look like they all blow ass… I don’t see anything “lander” like about them
- QUALITY SCORES YO! – A privacy page? A contact form? It will do that all for me? I didn’t realize that those were all I needed for the Quality Scores. Thanks Instant LP!!
- Recurring Incomes – Instant LP will drop your affiliate link on the bottom of your shitty pages. So now your shitty pages can make you money when you trick someone even dumber than you into buying this shitty website creator.
- WEBSITES = MONIES – That’s the secret newbies. All you need is a website. Once your website is on the intertubes, the money comes in. Yes, it is that simple.
The sad part is someone wasted their time putting this product together. The part that makes me want to kill myself is that some people will actually buy it. FUCK.
Robert Hughes (4)
Ron (2)
Beau (1)
Clothes (1)
Connor (1)
FlaDesign.ro (1)
Gigi (1)
iPyxel Creations (1)
Irene (1)
Jo (1)
You must be pretty bored. Might I suggest you pick up a hobby like poker (no limit obvi), or playing with My Little Ponies.
Just in case you needed more proof it’s shit, they’re advertising on Volk’s blog.
Complete with the headline “coming July 2009″
Aha oops shit sorry that one is “autoLP.com”
fucking sound alike websites
I have software that does all that!
You guys are just Jealous, buy it threw my affiliate link and I will throw in SE-0 Ninja Optimizer (yeah, the one everyone is talking about-its the shit) for FREE. Thats right bitches 997.00 value for free.
Just buy it throoo my link!!!
And I’m only offering this shit for a day so step up.
FUCK IT- Some fag name Howie is offering SE-2 thru his link so I’m going to upgrade yo Asses to SE-fucking3.
The good thing is that no one has to actually worry about the people that will buy this product. They are still at the hurrrr durrrrr stage.
The pages they show in their video look worse than the XOOM templates I bought a dozen years ago or so…
The first warning sign is when someone doesn’t know the difference between a LP and a website.
One of these days someone is going to release a product named SE-Zero. Just you wait.
I got a software that does all that.
lol I don’t make shit and I still know that this product is worthless along with autoLP. People really are just fucking retarded.
steve wagenheim
It was OfferVault that sent this shit to me, I don’t know about you op. When I watched it I almost pissed my pants.
Fuck using dreamweaver, MICROSOFT FUCKING WORD (saving as .html) IS 1000X MORE POWERFUL THEN THIS PEACE OF JUNK.
Really? You can bold TEXT! OMFG! YOU CAN UNDERLINE AND ITALICIZE TEXT! HOLY FUCK! YOU CAN CHANGE IT’S COLOR AND FONT! JESUS FUCKING CHRIST GIVE ME THE FUCKING BUY LINK!
The worst part is that the main thing the guy uses to set itself apart is the fact that you can input html. Hmmm. That makes a lot of sense. People who don’t know html in the first place can INPUT IT!
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Just so you know OfferVault, you’ve officially lost all your credibility. I’m unsubscribing, and telling my fucking list your a bunch of clowns.
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EVERYONE PLEASE POST BLOG POSTS SHITTING ON OFFER VAULT! THANKS!
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dullspace
I could tell you guys know shit about anything.better start planning for your retirement how long will you survive on social security alone?i didnt buy this shit but can see why people need it.if one of you could get ur lazy ass up to help people with their needs, shitty tools like this one wont be needed and you wont have to live on the dollar menu. u know ur shit, go advertise urself n make money by making websites for people who want to live a life and have a family.U r actually promoting stuff like this do you have a cloaked aff link or something? Oh u r cookie stuffing …
hannah are u retarded. he’s not promoting it. wow, u sir are an idiot. and i say sir cause ur definitely a guy, and if u are a chick ur lesbian cause u talk like a guy. ur also prolly ugly if ur a lesbian. and by ugly i mean so fucking fugly ur prolly are a virgin. but that makes sense anyways cause ur a lesbian.
so suck it.
you are all a bunch of children!!!!
I bought a copy and Barman u have no idea what it does. I think u saw a screenshot and became too judgemental. it is nothing like u’d have ever seen. it gathers info frm u, template, content, etc & creates a website with sitemap /xml, contact us page – recaptcha – php, etc.
I can’t code but I coudn’t get a functional (non-static) site up with dreamweaver and frontpage. Pretty sites maybe, but that’s about it. With Instant LP Software I was able to make one in less than half hour. so far, so good + excellent support.
It’s easier to blog about apps that ARE good, since 99.9% of everything else is shit. Choose Dreamweaver, UBot, and Link Farm Evolution. Everything else FAILS.
project sole is 100%
but your website is not the kinda swole I was expecting.