Need to cure what ales you? Just in time for the holiday season, Barman M.D is ready to answer your most pressing and dire questions.
It’s kind of like Dr. Drew, but for making monies online.
Let’s start with our first question.
Dullspace writes…
Shoemoney says my AM doesn’t want to have sex with me. I was thinking about that while my penis was inside her and it got REALLY confusing. I don’t know who to believe, can you please help?
Answer: Wow, tough question Dullspace… but this is actually pretty easy.
See, Affiliate Managers don’t want to sleep with affiliates because affiliates are filthy. It would lower their social status as an attractive female to sleep with the likes of you. You know who I mean – the degenerate fat fucks, who dress like they just came out of a basketball game. Or those affiliates, despite what they make and the traffic they bring, have the social skills of Chia Pet. Hot Affiliate Managers don’t sleep with nerds and losers, which is who Shoemoney readers are.
But you, on the other hand – are Dullspace. Even though you are an affiliate, you are also an internet celebrity. And as we all know, any female gets hot and bothered for celebrities, whether they are real or fake celebrities.
Hopefully this answers your question, and clears up any confusion.
Please submit all “Ask Barman” questions in the comments.
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Barman (20)
-What type of clothes should I wear at ASW to score with an affiliate manager?
-Is it true at all conferences ryan eagle lurks around other company booths and just steals affiliates like ppv traffic?
-Also did dennis you-yu get pants-d at adtech?
P.S.
Can you do some prankcalls to dennis yu’s 50 employee office(3 employees + janitor)
Maybe send him some pizzas, chicken wings, other shit you can send for delivery?
OGRE WANT KNOE HOW TO FUCK AM?
DO OGRE NEED BIGGER CLUB THAN FOR NORMALS HUMANZ WOMINZ ? ARRRRGGURRRHHGGG?
OGRE HURD AM WOMINZ USES FAKE AIM PIXTURES.
IS TRUE BARMANZ><?
PLZ HELP OGRE NEED.
If one had pictures of themselves and two affiliate managers laying in bed naked smoking a J and he wanted to post them on his blog would the industry think this was exploitation or just a celebration of love? The twist is that the two AMs are from competing companies. Looking forward to your advice.
Does a Dick Towel help score with AMs?
http://www.dicktowel.com/dicktowel.html
Is it true that PepperJam only hires prostitutes for their affiliate managers?
Why does Yoko Ono suck that bad?
My AM constantly calls me daily. Is she hitting on me?
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-Also what kind of retard buys text links for poker sites on a movie site?
-Is it true Ruck(Insert c2m afflink here) never smiles? If he is Chuck Norris is dying?
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-How does barman pull in those 7 Figs a month?
-Why does Andrew Wee make a podcast for his 3 listeners still?
-When ever I wonna hear stupid shit a rapper would say I just visit http://twitter.com/EagleWebAssets Is it true for the barman as well?
-What is/are Dullspace and Circa?
-Whats barman fav cigar/cigarette/beer?
-Which year of dom perignon thinks is the best?
-Can you give dennis yu a wedgie at asw? Maybe even order some drinks for him at the casinos or bill some shit to his hotel(never mind motel) room
What is barman’s real name ?
Are nickycakes and nickyfakes brothers ?
Is it true that ryan eagle is so pimp that he gets paid to refresh his stats ?
I duped my grandpa into signing up for a bizopp using his pension funds and then upsold his old ass for an acai +colon combo. Does that make me a baller ?
Are you a member of ppc-coach?
Are you a fan of jermiahcooper.com?
Do you like to cuddle?
Will you speak at any conferences this year?
What should shoemoney do with all his extra skin?
Why didn’t John chow start a food blog instead of the crap he has now?
I heard there is a new twitter app coming called “shitter”, its so you can tweet while shitting, is this true?
OGRE WANT NOE, ARGGGUUURRRGGGHHH HUUHRRFFHHH ARRRRGGGGG!!!
- What do you do online that makes you the monies? Media buys? PPC? PPV? SEO?
Just a 5 month newb here curious about where to go and trying to avoid all monthly training BS sites :)
someone give this guy the make monies link
- where does nickycakes go when he vanishes for months at a time?
- does aojon read wickedfire?
- if i had a camera and a computer, can i be a music video producer?
- shoemoney = dr phil?
- if i run an email submit with EWA, will i be able to pay cash for a Bentley?