Category Archives: Random Relaunch 2014

Hello readers. Notice anything … different?

I’ve come to the decision that if I’m going to spend the time writing, I might as well do it right. Anyone that’s ever written a post worth reading knows the time investment involved (great posts can take hours), so its counter-productive for me to do it on a blog full of Dirt Nasty videos and vulgar profanity. That kind of stuff has a great niche following (the Adult Swim demographic), but doesn’t get any traction with a broader public.

I want to be able to leverage my time working on this blog into something more in the long run, whatever that may be.
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Porn and Your Brain – Are You Master of Your Domain?

This post has nothing to do with internet marketing, but everything to do with the demographic (young males 18-30.) Also, this is one of the more honest posts I’ll ever write.

When I was a young lad many years ago, a new revolution in computing had begun. Computers were affordable for families of almost any means. I think I was in 5th grade when my parents got me and my siblings a computer for Christmas. It was a Compaq Persario 25 or something. Some weird contraption that had the monitor and computer components in one box.

Well, like any self-respecting 11 year old, the first thing I did was try and find some titties. Oh, and titties I did find. Sweet, illustrious pornography.

Porn is what powers in the internet. The demand for naked females is the reason why the internet is what it is today. Back in the early days, “porn” was the #1 searched term for many years running. It’s why broadband exists. Porn paved the way for profiting on the internet. Online pornographers invented affiliate marketing. It’s the reason nginx exploded as a web server recently.

Besides trillions upon trillions of wasted sperm, porn does have its place in technology. Demand for porn sparked a lot of innovation. We’ve all benefited from it in one way or another.

But if there’s so much Porn available, then surely it must be normal behavior?


It wasn’t until a few weeks ago when I was writing this wrap up post, that I stumbled upon this article from Asian Efficiency: Sex, Pornography and motivation.

Read that post entirely for my post to make sense. Trust me, it’s good.

After reading that article, I got to thinking – Wait, am I watching too much porn?

Porn has been a part of my life ever since I stopped shooting blanks (someone needs to edit that word a little better to describe having an orgasm before reaching puberty.)

Was I watching porn all day and all night? Was I watching porn for hours at a time? Was I as bad as some of these dudes? No. God, no.

But could I go 72 hours without checking out some naked titties and rubbing one out? Rarely. Not in recent memory. Oh fuck, maybe I am addicted to the dopamine drip caused by looking at porn…

The only time I have no desire to look at porn is when I’m in a relationship. The chemicals your brain releases when you’re with a person are completely different from chemicals you receive while watching porn.

The Great Dopamine Drip

After reading the article by Asian Efficiency, I decided to stop looking at porn with a conscience effort. The primary reason was to see its affect on my productivity. I became aware of any desire to look at porn, and realized it was just my brain yearning for the dopamine drip. Must… resist … fapping…

Then I stumble upon this TEDTalk video which really brought the point home.

Edit: More Good No-Masturbating Stuff

Friend linked me to this blog post, “How to Stop Masturbating”. Great funny read which touches on some benefits not mentioned in the other stuff I linked. And of course, more “How-to” tips then the other links.

Why Did I Stop Watching Porn?

Did I Even Feel Bad About Watching Porn? Most of the time, no. But every guy has that moment (or moments) in their life when they bust a messy nut with 12 downloads going and 32 tabs open. At that point, you just think, “What the fuck am I doing? What the FUCK is wrong with you, you piece of shit?!” and feel the worst shame you possibly can.

Was I getting erectile dysfunction? No, all appears to be in working order. But apparently this is a problem in some people as stated in the video above.

Was I getting into kinkier and kinkier shit? No, I could still get off to softcore porn. Hell, I still can’t watch anal sex and still can’t understand the appeal (Why is it always a top category on porn tube sites?)

Was I lowering my view of women? No, I still love women for the beautiful yet confusing creatures they are. We’re cool, right ladies?

I stopped watching porn because of its affect on the brain and productivity, and especially to shift my desire to seeking out real women for sexual gratification. It was just too easy to get distracted with work and think, “ah fuck it, maybe I’ll look at some internet titties for a few minutes.”

I decided I’d rather be addicted to sex and fucking random and not-so-random slags (safely, of course) then be addicted to porn and self-stimulation. It’s a mental challenge – replacing porn with real women is difficult. You have to like, talk to them and shit. And say stuff so they like you and touch your penis.

I think I just got to the point where trying to bang real women was not a top priority anymore. That is not OK or healthy. As a single, tall, sexy male, this should priority #2, right behind getting filthy money. Even though fucking real girls was always on my mind, I made very little actual effort to make it happen these past few years. I blame this on a number of things, with porn likely having some contribution to my lack of effort.

Why Should You?

Has porn been proven to have a negative affect on our brain? Not exactly, but the preliminary studies aren’t looking good. Modern day porn is just not a part of our history or evolution. I am not trying to start a crusade against porn. I think porn is awesome. It’s just too fucking much.

My main concern is people younger than me. I worry about some of you. At least I can remember a time when there were only like 50 nude pictures on the entire internet, and getting them was a hassle. But now, there are tube sites. Video porn for every kinky niche available. Midgets, ebony, milfs, you name it. So many tube sites… As far as the eye can see!

I don’t consider myself a porn addict. I don’t consider myself a social or emotional retard. But some of you are. So maybe give it a shot and see what happens?

My only goal here is to make people aware of the issue. Porn affects productivity. The effects of porn on the brain is still being studied and understood. Then read “How to Stop Masturbating”. Just the facts… You make your own decision. You filthy pervert.

Boycott LeadImpact Day?

Here ye, here ye!

So I am going to throw this out there to see if it gets any traction. With all the protests going on across the world and the United States, its time for to get in on the action. If we want change, we gotta vote with our wallets.

For those unfamiliar with LeadImpact, it is a PPV platform similar to MediaTraffic and Trafficvance.

Why Boycott LeadImpact Day?

  • 1. Outrageous Click Discrepancies – What LeadImpact bills you for and what they actually deliver is the biggest gripe among many of its advertisers. A 20% click discrepancy is not uncommon, while 10% or so is the norm. Some people are reporting discrepancies as high as 25-30%. This is fraud of the highest order!
  • 2. Obscene Minimum Bids – Yes, it’s their platform and they can charge what they want. But Trafficvance, a platform with significantly better traffic quality, only requires a 1 cent minimum bid. LeadImpact’s bare minimum is 1.5 cents, but some categories go as high as 2.3 cents (just a minimum – there doesn’t even need to be competition), and others even higher (maybe, the highest I’ve seen is 2.3)

    So yeah, it’s their platform and they can do what they want. But when you combine their click discrepancies with the minimum bids, it’s a pretty amazing feat to get a profitable campaign going there.

  • 3. Approval Process – LeadImpact requires some pretty outrageous disclaimers on advertiser’s landing pages that kills conversions. This has never happened to me but its been reported by others.

How Can I Support the Cause
Leave your feedback in the comments, and if you support the cause, along with your daily spend in terms of $xx, $xxx, etc so we can have a rough estimate of how this will effect LeadImpact. You may also call me a tard and stupid turd if you think this boycott is utter nonsense.

What Are Our Demands
1. Fix the issue with click discrepancies because it’s fucking ridiculous.
2. Lower the minimum bid price.
3. If you have other demands leave it in the comments.

Is there a set date?
No. If this idea gets any traction then a date will be set.

But won’t people just run their campaigns while everyone else is pausing
Probably. But those people are scumbags.

Is anyone that’s actually spending big at LeadImpact going to follow through with this?
I don’t know. That’s why this post is here.

Will This Even Work?
Who knows. I don’t know what % of their revenue is made up of affiliates and what % is brand advertisers, nor what % they run internally.

Am I Just Being a Bitch
Absolutely. But if this actually worked, most advertisers should be happy with the results.

Donate with Purpose –

My comrade turned me onto I actually heard a lot about this site when it was being mentioned a lot on Colbert Report last month, but never checked it out.

DonorsChoose is a truly amazing idea. Basically teachers and classrooms from our decrepit education system put up ‘projects’ and you, the donor, get to throw money at them. Whether its $5 or $100, you put that money towards individual projects to help teachers chip away at their goal. Some want to buy computers, some art supplies, and others muscial instruments. At the same time, it’s pretty depressing to know how in-need some of our schools really are. (“We need to buy books…. ” Really? They don’t give you books at that school?)

I love this site because it’s addicting. Once you donate a few bucks, you want to do it some more. It’s beautiful because it bypasses our ignorant government. “Every Child Left Behind!” Why pay taxes that will end up in the hands of nimrod politicians who have to distribute the money back to schools (with a little off the top).

Cut out the middleman and start donating to kids that really need it! The power of the internets!

How to +1 Your Karma Points by Distributing Your Ill-Gotten Gains

1. Visit DonorsChoose
2. Pick a project. If you can’t find a project, pick a school from your hometown or state. If that doesn’t work, do it by hottest teacher.
3 Distribute some of your ill-gotten gains to the project. Make it rain on these kids like you’re putting them through college (in a way, you are…)
4. Repeat once a week.

Stop being a cheap loser and donate at least $10 to some kids now. The smallest amount goes a long way for these kids, and large amounts are just ballin’.

Papa John’s $2 Delivery Fee

This has always intrigued me, and I want some answers now. For some reason, gets a lot of traffic for Pizza related inquiries, mostly due to this post that rips on Dominos putting plastic soda bottles in the oven.

What is this $2 delivery fee from Papa John’s when you order online?


I know at least one reader either works at Papa John’s or knows someone that does.

Here are my questions

  • Why is this Delivery Fee there?
  • Who gets the Delivery Fee? Papa Johns? The Driver? Or some sort of rev share?
  • If I know the answer to above question, I can tip appropriately. But since I do not know, I am either tipping the driver $2 too much or $2 too little in 6th step. Why won’t you explain the goddamn delivery fee to me Papa John!
  • After you order, you are upsold some Netflix / Magazines. I’m curious to know how much more Papa Johns rakes in if you order online instead of over the phone.

That is all.

Edit: That is not all actually.

Delivery Charge is Extortion!

The big deal is that the big chains keep the money and fuck you, and the driver. Here’s a good explanation

Stop buying from big chain pizza joints. Support your local pizzeria! Now go get fat!

Barman Tells a Story about Jon Waraas

If you’re wondering why this post exists, look no further than Now I don’t really want or need whatever % off of DeveloperHut services, but this story needs to be told to the masses.

Jon Waraas’s blog was one of the first blogs I ever read related to affiliate marketing. This was back in the day when I thought John Chow and Tyler Cruz had relevance, so any blog that talked about making teh monies online seemed cool to me. So for some reason, Jon Waraas seemed like a good read and I kept it in my reader (as I slowly but surely removed shitty blogs when I realized how full of shit they are)

Barman Meets Jon Waraas

A long, long time ago, there was an event called Affiliate Summit East Boston. I was hanging out in the conference hall and went out for a smoke. This is where I met Jon Waraas, who is actually one tall motherfucker. For some reason it was really cool to meet an infamous blogger in our industry, but then the novelty wore off after about 12 seconds.

Later that day, or maybe the next day, a bunch of industry cats had dinner at a fancy restaurant in Boston. This party was hooked up by Nickycakes who made Geoff of Advaliant do his bidding, and provide corporate sponsorship for this dinner.

This whole dinner is a story within itself which will never be told. When you have people like aojon and smax sitting at the same table, there’s comedy to be had. But let’s focus on Jon Waraas. So we finally get some grub on the table, and what do you know… Jon Waraas busts out his camera John Chow style and starts taking pictures of his food. I fucking snapped. “What the fuck are you doing man,” I yelled. Waraas looked at me dumbfounded, “Uh, taking pictures of food.” At this point you have to realize that I think this unacceptable behavior, cause it is oh-so-gay. But then I realized I’ve only known Jon Waraas for less than an hour, and he’s probably wondering why the fuck this stranger is yelling at him.

Jon Waraas showss some love

When first started, it grew quickly because it was cool to like These days, it’s a necessity. So I had to ride the wave and asked bloggers to talk about to get more traffic, and grow the subscriber list from 6 to 7. Jon Waraas was one of the first to blog about, and his newb traffic was actually legit. Now I am returning the favor.

Barman Plays Call of Duty 4 with Jon Waraas

I don’t play COD4 a lot, but one time I played with Jon Waraas. Let’s put it this way… if Waraas was actually fighting in Iraq we’d have won the war by now. This dude is a dead-silent killer who can single-handedly keep your team alive (especially since I suck so bad). He eats durkas for breakfast then shits ’em out at dinner time. Don’t fuck with Jon Waraas.

So that is my Jon Waraas story.

This has been a PAID REVIEW of Jon

Score PR5 Links for Your Blog for $30

Google talks a lot of shit about not being able to buy links, but there are a few sites out there that get the old sliparoo (meaning Google will penalize some link sellers while letting other ones slide)

So anyway, if you have a legitimate blog that isn’t shit, you can score pretty good links from Best of the Web. They have a Blog Section you can get to on the bottom there.

If you give a fuck about PR, here’s how to do it
1. Submit Blog
2. Use Coupon ZOMBIE – This will save you $10 off the submission in October. They are always running coupons tho
3. And if you hit the site up through your own affiliate link you get 25% of that. Skadoosh!