The Big Business of Newbs

If you haven’t noticed by now, there are a ton of seminars, systems, and stupid shit popping up – all designed to help the next retard make monies online. If you’re like me, then you think (most of) this shit is gay and only cons people in the false hope of getting rich online. Nearly every day, there is a new blueprint or thingamabob that promises wealth and fast automobiles for the unsuspecting masses.

Let’s look at the facts (which I am making up as I go along):

If you’re a member of Warrior Forum or Digital Point or any other forum, you probably consider yourself an online marketer. Or if you read Shoemoney or John Chow you have some interest in this internet thing. You are (at least you think you are) in the business of “making money online.”

The fact is 20%, maybe 15% or 10%, of people make any kind of reasonable income. These are the people who have some fucking sense and have figured out, in their own little niche or vertical (most readers of PPC.bz), how to make monies without a job or boss or whatever you people do with your 9 to 5.

The rest are just shit-for-brains individuals that are lured by promises of an easier lifestyle. Most will fail, and most of those will fail over and over. There’s nothing wrong with failing, but there is something wrong with doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results (example: Buying Warrior Forum Special Offers or WSOs.)

[side note: If you don’t know what a WSO is – it’s basically a market place on Warrior Forum for make money online e-books and shit like that. Check it out here (but don’t stay too long, lest you lose brain cells). It is like watching sheep go to the slaughter.]

So people complain and shout – “All these ‘gurus’ are ripping people off!” or “No one is going to get anywhere using that system!” or “John Reese killed my father and raped my mother!”

Usually the people who have made money online and can see through the bullshit.

So…. so what?

The Market Size

I can tell people to not buy this and call that system lame, and I can do it 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, forever, but new make money online systems will keep coming out.

The size of the “make money online” market is huge, and it’s only getting bigger. It’s called the Internet and it touches nearly everyone. You can’t get your head around how big the Internet truly is, which is why I want to kill people who ask “Can you still make money online?”

Internet yo.

And it’s still in its infancy. There isn’t a channel dedicated to online businesses, but one day there will be. The New Dork is coming.

It’s Just Marketing – Plain and Simple

With an infinite supply of people wanting to make money online (recession + job loss + internet growth), do you even need a good product?

Well, if you pay attention to any “Guru launches,” then no, you don’t need a good product. You can shit on your scanner and export it to a PDF and get by. You just need good marketing and exposure. And it’s so easy to market to people because all you need to do is say “Make X number of dollars in Y easily!” Insert any amount for X and any amount of time for Y.

I talked to Shoemoney about his system recently. He gave me a pass into his System, and it is pretty much what I expected: Newbie-tailored bullshit.

But is that so bad?

Shoe actually provides some good content. Before you flip out and call me a ball-licker, “good content” means its better than some of the other shit out there. Shoemoney wants to reach complete tards, and he does it with dozens of videos any idiot can watch. He meets the needs of his demographic and that’s all he really needs to do. If a complete idiot watched it they would know about 80% of what they need to know (the easy part) to make money online.

So can you hate Shoe for gettin 1800+ people paying 200 or so a month? I hate Shoe, but not for this reason.

Back to market-size – Talking with Shoe he said that the “Making money online” niche will be as big as Poker. If you were into Poker at all you know that there were a ton of books and systems and coaching programs that came out during the trend. Most of them just regurgitated the strategies from a few core authors (Doyle Brunson for example) Same shit with online marketing.

Being Helpful to Newbs Means Popularity

And if you still can’t figure out this making money online thing, you can start a blog and post the shit newbies love! This means free shit that will never work in the real world (random pics of chicks for your FB ads), or 5 dolla landing pages because most people don’t know what the fuck Photoshop even is.

PPC.bz isn’t as big as it could be, because I don’t fucking care about newbs. If I did, I’d have thousands of readers – but I don’t need idiots reading this blog. But some how, some way, PPC.bz got relatively popular by entertaining that tiny sliver of the market – the part that makes monies.

If I sold out tomorrow and started promoting Frank Kern products, 90% of my reader-base would leave but I’d quadruple the amount of readers I have. That 80% of people who don’t make money online will keep buying shit until they either run out of money, or something clicks and they join the 20%.

The Moral of the Story

So what the fuck was I getting at? Really I don’t remember.

I just need to say some things –

The influx of newbies into the industry will only grow. You will see more and more stupid systems and programs being released, and there’s nothing you can do to stop them. (Fortunately that means more material for PPC.bz to work with)

Your Volks and Shoemoneys will keep posting generic material (Volk’s dipshit affiliate marketing guide) and they will continue to grow. This will keep happening, until everybody in the world runs their own make money online blog.

The moral of the story is we need less newbies in this industry, but the reality is that there will only be more.

We can hate all we want, but people are making bank catering to this need.

(But, in truth, I will certainly hate all I want)

  • “You can shit on your scanner and export it to a PDF and get by.” LOL

  • The noobs make the make monies online industry go ’round

  • cliq

    Those who can’t do, teach. Those who can’t teach, join the warrior forum.

  • too long to be a ppc.bz post

    • I agree. But just scanning it and reading random bits, I kinda got the point. Newbies are getting owned by BS gurus.

      And… I don’t know. It’s always entertaining reading this shit, even though I don’t learn anything.

    • ” I wonder if cakes bathes with the horns..”

  • dullspace

    Internet yo

  • Georgie

    We all know these schemes are bullshit and provide no useful info, why the hate mang? Why does it bother you so much?

    Never hate a hustler.

  • rawbones

    In order to truly grasp the significance of the phrase “there is a sucker born every second” one only needs to get into internet marketing.

    It is truly amazing

  • major truths there

  • Kind of out of context but… I did say that.

    My point is that making money online is like the new texas holdem. Its cool and literally anyone can do it.

    The challenge for anyone making a make money online product is how do you get people to actually implement the stuff you teach them.

    I will be the first one to tell people they need to quit buying shit and actually start doing stuff.

    • Eddie Vorney

      “I will be the first one to tell people they need to quit buying shit and actually start doing stuff.”

      True, which is why you push Frank Kerns or Video Boss bullshit all day long you hypocritical dipshit.

      “Quit buying shit,” unless its the MMO JV shit I put on my blog. You stand for truth and justice. Pushing people toward Clickbooth makes you a true American Hero.

      Keep fighting the good fight.

      You gotta remember, when the “in” thing to do was hate Shoemoney, there was a reason. Lots of reasons….Now, go apply some vagisil, and come back here and defend yourself.

  • good shit bardman. hit me up to kick it at adtech. we can fuck some bitchs nigga

  • Mad minds think alike ? AWESOME POST! I just got done bitching about the same thing.

  • barman…are you telling me the free landing pages that Justin Dupre emails me won’t work?!? He sent me like 50 FB PRE-SIZED dating images as well, so hah! I’ma be rolling my facebook campaigns all overz you!

  • It’s all about quality of stuff from here out there’s too much rehashed krap out there.

  • Tipjar

    I’m this close to doing a product launch, after seeing the numbers some of these guys pull.

  • I’ve spent the past two years reading, trying shit out and losing money that I could afford to lose. I never pushed re-bills and I’m proud that I didn’t. Shoemoney has made how much in the past 5 years? 10 million? I’ve learned that isn’t shit in the world of business.

    At the end of the day, I’ll bet most people get into this shit for the same reasons: they’re lazy, they can’t deal with stupid people, etc.

    Real movers and shakers know exactly what “the gurus” are. Who would you rather spend an hour with? Frank Kern/Tony Robbins/Shoemoney or Mark Cuban/Michael Dell/Mikhail Prokhorov?

    I can respect the hustle. But the single-minded sleaziness of “online marketing” is pretty lame.

    Much respect for the Barman’s truthiness : )

  • Affilthyate

    This whole guru bash thing is not only getting a little boring, but it’s complete fucking hypocrisy.

    99% of the people bashing “gurus” on forums like wickedfire (which has just as many retards as anyplace if not more) for selling shit products to morons on how to make money are busy raking it in all day pushing shit CPA offers to other morons for money.

    I don’t want to hear that “don’t eat your own kind” defense either, because no one in the affiliate community gives a shit about each other, we’re all here for money, we have our friends, partners, colleagues and that’s it, I sure don’t spend my day all concerned that other affiliates I have no idea exist are making money and neither do any of you.

    At least the IM gurus help each other out and promote each others bullshit, affiliates will eat each other alive for a $1, jack landers, creative, traffic sources, try and get people tossed from an offer.

    Thank god for all the clickbank merchants of the world for keeping 200 thousand make money from home seekers in a perpetual state of incompetence so that I can make 15k a day, bravo AffiliateClassroom, bravo.

    It’s only funny to prank call Mike Filsaimes office because someone there will actually pick up the phone. You wouldn’t call one of the rebills out in the last 36 months for a joke cause you’d never get through :) but fuck it, it’s cool to drain a fat single moms bank account for $150 so it goes negative and her electricity gets shut off, but fuck frank kern for selling some shitty ass course on list building, at least he tells you how much the fucking thing really costs and the idiots buying it can afford to lose it since they’re 33 and still live at home.

    It’s just another market begging to be sold to and not selling to it is just leaving money on the table for someone you’re going to hate to see getting it.

    Shoemoney may bore the shit of anyone with actual talent, and maybe he just got lucky with this “rep” of his, but if he can make millions taking customers money who ask him to good for him.

    It’s like this Nickybakes character with his script. Why can’t he sell whatever the fuck he wants to whoever wants to buy it, fuck business is it of anyone elses? Does it mean he makes no money in affiliate marketing if he decides to sell his own product?

    He may make no money in real marketing for all I know but just because he adds a revenue stream is no reflection on what he did or did not make before that and whether or not he was turning tricks for H 10 years ago also has no bearing on anything despite what people on WF would like to believe in between their busy schedule of masturbating while moms still at work and cartoon network.

    What’s the difference between promoting “make money with google” and “affiliate smackdown” (or whatever gay name) ?

    Two things:

    1. You’ll actually make more than $200 promoting make money with google

    2. You’re doing far worse things to the world than Peter Parker and his “never before revealed affiliate secrets”

    I say rock it till the wheels fall off, sling pills, sling ebooks, it’s all the same game, don’t hate.

    And there is some good guys with good info out there albeit a handful, and at least they’re smart enough to charge for it.

    Nobody that’s a true hustler is going to care about being bashed anyway, it aint hurting anybodies sales ,kind of like how people still buy acai despite 150,000 scam complaints when you take two seconds to do a google search. Fortunately a two second google search is far to advanced for both fat people and make money online hopefuls.

    • Tipjar

      Quality reply

    • Dude

      Best. Response. Ever.

    • Tony

      Word.

    • bargirl

      was thinking same shit for the long time now.
      acai rebills=make money online rebills=ebooks=sellout gurus=flogs=random affiliate=fat single mom that wanna loss weight=single father that wanna quit his 9-5=barman=amit mehta=mmo bloggers=mmo online forums=wickedfire=warriorforum=dp and list go on.

      So what is the fucking difference between you selling fake shit thru flogs and others selling fake shit thru their MMO services? It’s a fucking advertisement, right? If you think you are better coz you are not buying this crap but you are the one creating it than yea, go fuck with your ego mr. im better selling fake pills and you are a moron trying to sell fake service teaching me how to sell fake pills.
      Tru story bro.

    • funny thing is the fags that prank call mike filasime released their own bullshit guru product. fuck them too.

    • high risk

      “It’s only funny to prank call Mike Filsaimes office because someone there will actually pick up the phone. You wouldn’t call one of the rebills out in the last 36 months for a joke cause you’d never get through :) but fuck it, it’s cool to drain a fat single moms bank account for $150 so it goes negative and her electricity gets shut off, but fuck frank kern for selling some shitty ass course on list building, at least he tells you how much the fucking thing really costs and the idiots buying it can afford to lose it since they’re 33 and still live at home.”

      golf. clap.

  • One of the best post I’ve seen here barman. Its true and noobs will just multiply 3x faster than what any germs could..

    kinda have the same take. i could look at a ton of products and say its all bullshit but thats just me. if 100 of 101 newbies would say its good, then my take (and others) is just even less than 2 cents

  • The word “thingamabob;” now that is gay. :)

    I actually don’t think the “make money online” niche will ever be very big in comparison to real world niches.
    Let’s face it, MMO is just incest, plain and simple. There ain’t nuthin’ new as you mention.

    But if marketers would take the basics and apply them to real world shiz like gardening, DIY, mountain biking and dirt smoking, there are millions of real internet users looking to buy and click. Simple. These users are not jaded by the likes of Kern and Shoe. They are just humans using Google to get stuff. Imagine that!?

    AL

    • Ed Hollister

      “The word “thingamabob;” now that is gay. :)”

      Disagree. Thingamabob is a man’s word.

  • Chris

    The rebill CPA products succeeded only because marketers fooled customers into thinking they were just buying a $2 trial. I just think it’s fucked up hearing the rebill slingers talking about how much of a scam ebooks and training courses are. Yeah well at least their price is in plain text and not in gray font against a slightly less gray background in wherever your split tests have found users least likely to look. The funny thing is, some of these gurus are actually able to convince people to willingly hand over $1000 for a seminar, while so many of these CPA “marketers” only make profit because customers don’t actually know what price they’re paying. Maybe some folks don’t want to admit that they’re only skilled in fucking over stupid people and are jealous of others who actually know how to write copy that persuades customers into handing over large chunks of change.

    • high risk

      “Maybe some folks don’t want to admit that they’re only skilled in fucking over stupid people and are jealous of others who actually know how to write copy that persuades customers into handing over large chunks of change.”

      I agree, but “fucking over stupid people” is a skill in itself. See: check cashing stores, etc.

  • march

    LOOL

    I knew this was specially for me..
    “Before you flip out and call me a ball-licker”

    Its a good post, i believe this blog is getting where it was supposed to be.

    Good job boss

  • Thanks for this post. I started out with Google Adsense in late 2005 and didn’t really get into marketing seriously until 2009. One thing I love to do and that is learn and read. It all came to me like you said. ” figure it out” I see that all the things I soaked in a few years ago taught me to separate the bullshit from the facts in this industry :)

    I was not and still not looking for some get rich quick ebook lesson, just enough to work from home and support my kid. That’s really all I want from Marketing Online.. no 3 car garage and party at the playboy mansion lol… Just a normal quiet life.
    That’s my story= I still consider myself a noob because I am not making enough to live a average lifestyle in Rhode Island. …

  • Nice post! I love you Barman!

  • barman is the biggest pussy i know. such a bitter little bitch. HATERS GONNA HATE, BARMANS GONNA HATE

  • Hatin Ass Bitch. It’s Called Make Monies dumb fuck, and the “Gurus” Make Money. How big is your email list Bartfuck ?

    Are you the guy who scrambles around every fuckin day making $1,000 and then the next day losing $1,000… ? Probably.

    Start building an email list and shut your mouth ho.

  • Who wants to get paid $25.00 right now, today?

    http://50.cez1.com

    PLUS – another big surprise payout that will last until 4/2011 I’ve got over $1,500 in my account and climbing every day!!

    NOT affiliates, MLM or Matrix either!! This is Mainstream REAL Legit Business most IM people get scared of…it’s funny to watch them Run from Real!!

    For some reason, I don’t think anyone here is the scaring kind…good.