Tipping Point

In yesterday’s party post, I made a little fuss about people that don’t tip in this industry. Some may think it rude that I call out an entire industry on this point, and others may find it downright disrespectful.

“You’re an idiot! I always tip! :: scoffing sounds :: ”

So you might be asking – “Barman, who are the cheapskates that don’t tip the service staff at industry functions?”

There is no particular person or anything, it’s just a general trend I see (and based on the comments on the last post, I’m not the only one.)

For some reason, I think affiliates think they are entitled to the free shit that networks and sponsors give them. If there is a social function like a party, affiliates feel like “oh the network is paying for everything – I don’t have to spend a dime!” Wrong asshole. The network or sponsor does pay for everything, but they don’t pay the tips for the service at these events. Sometimes the sponsor might feel so bad for the service staff they tip them out, because of the cheap-ass affiliates. This is truly a fucking shame.

But there was particular event that stands with me to this day. An event I never want to repeat.

It was the Denver Affiliate Convention, many years ago (or maybe it was last year.) I wouldn’t have gone to this convention if I didn’t live like 30 minutes away.

Scott Richter of Affiliate.com held an after party event at his “gentleman’s club” called Platinum something or other. Basically everyone in the industry was invited to hang out at the strip club and either look at titties or talk about business.

Anyway, I won’t get into the total mindfuck that was. (Seeing to the Shoemoney logo flash on the TV screens while getting a lap dance made me get a boner and throw-up in my mouth at the same time. The mindfuck is that I don’t know which was responsible for which.)

An hour or two into the night, me and bb_wolfe were outside smoking drugs, and we ran into ladies that were waiting for a ride home. Clearly they were strippers because there are no females in affiliate marketing.

So I asked them what’s up.

“We’re getting out of here.”
“Why is that?”
“We’re not really making any money.”
“Really?”
“Yeah, no one is tipping.”
“Really.”

The convo went on for a little while longer and they eventually left. I walked back into the club and saw that she was right. There were these sad, nearly lifeless, strippers dancing like they were forced to. If you ever played Grand Theft Auto IV and walked into the virtual titty bar, you know what I mean. Animated and contrived.

It was then I thought to myself – “I never want this to happen to me.”

“I never want to be a part of a party where strippers leave.”

The service staff at these events are the lifeblood of the entertainment. If they aren’t getting taken care of, their hearts won’t be into it. And if they’re not into it – expect slow, nearly unbearable service getting drinks. That in turn will ruin the fun everyone is having.

And if strippers are involved, they will leave.

You don’t really want that, do you?