Category Archives: Trade Shows

Affiliate Summit West 2016 Las Vegas Wrap-up Post (Seriously)

So you may have noticed all’s quiet on the blogging front. Why?

*You Who’s this you anyway? Are people still reading this blog?

Well to be perfectly dank, I took a hiatus from the affiliate marketing game. Long story short, I got burnt out around late 2013, took a gig with a lead gen company, got shit-canned a year later for being my good ol’ honest self, had a strong non-compete for a year after, and ended up just focusing on building a programming skillset instead of any kind of marketing.

In addition, I took up shit like meditation which made me more of a chill person. The anger and angst that made this blog so great dwindled down. I’m sure there’s plenty of cannon-fodder out there too. Shame.

Anyway, late last year the entrepreneurial bug bit me again. All these people- people I’ve known for years and many fresh faces- doing their own thing, creating their own destiny and shit like that. I don’t necessarily love this industry but I definitely admire a lot of people in it and greatly respect their hustle.

So I figured, what better way to get myself back into the entrepreneurial mindset than a last minute trip to Las Vegas?

OK now that I got my imposter syndrome out of the way, let’s recap Affiliate Summit West 2016 in beautiful Las Vegas.

Let me just preface this – my trip to Vegas was so last minute that Collins wouldn’t even give me a Press Pass. So I didn’t go to the actual conference. Which actually doesn’t matter because even with a Press Pass I’d spend no more than an hour or two a day at the show. I’m sure it’s the same old snore-fest of shitty SEO companies and mommy-bloggers that it always is.


This is where people post pics of the airport, hotel room, and other dumb things. Oh my god, who give’s a shit?

Here’s what you need to know. Omnesia was a great time. Basically all of the people ruining the internet for your mother in one room. Now’s your chance, FTC, get em!

I’ll be honest – I don’t do a fucking penny in nutra. But it’s a massive portion of the affiliate marketing space and it has some of the heaviest hitting V-necks this side of Croatia.

Shout of to all of the wonderful sponsors (even though I can only vouch for them by proxy). If you’re a pill pusher you should probably work with one or all of these companies.

Most importantly, shout out to Illya BLT for putting it all together. Some interesting facts: 1) BLT is actually a real person, despite many years thinking he was someone’s troll account. 2) BLT is not actually me, despite what several subpoenas may have you believe.

CPA Adventures
DirectFocus Online
Go Social Affiliate Network
AdsXposed – Not a network but a great mobile spy tool.

Seriously – thank you hundreds of dollars of food and drink me and my girl ran through, just because I had a mildly infamous blog once. Oh, internet.

Did anyone else get terrible #VegasFlu? Weakest immune systems in the game.


This was a fairly uneventful day as far as industry stuff went. Sadly, we missed the STM Meetup because we want to go see “O” which was some out of this world shit. Half a dozen times in Vegas and this was the first show I’ve seen. Well worth it.

Late that night, crashed a RevenueWire cocktail hour. (P.S: Talk to Brianna about all of your RevenueWire needs. She’ll make you millions, if not billions).

Also ran into the infamous Harrison “G is for Gansta” Gevirtz, whom I did not immediately recognize because he’s no longer 15 and he hit puberty apparently. All grown up now ::sniff::


Adsimilis always come through with a great meetup. Great network and great people. Ran into the infamous Suitcase Marketer, the great Benjamin Louie, and a bunch of other people. Ran into Malan Darras somewhere in between.

From there we stumbled to the Convert2Media MVP party. Motherfuckin’ Coolio was in the building. What’s this industry’s fascination with washed up rappers?

Anyway, Adsimilis and Convert2Media are both great companies that have been in this industry a very long time that have weathered some tough storms. Plus, they have some really great people working for them.


Got the fuck out of there.

Affiliate Summit West 2016 Las Vegas Wrap-up

I was going to sit down and begin writing an ASW16 wrap up post, but then my good friend i_like_cock said “Here ill give you an ASW write up…” so here it is:




I’ll have a real write-up later.

Affiliate Summit 2014 – You Should Go to the Vegas ASW in 2015

For…reasons, I didn’t want to post this at the time of writing. Days turn into weeks then weeks turn into months…and here we are. If you learn anything from this post, Affiliate Summit West is a great event for affiliate marketers!

Another year, another drunken trip to Vegas.

If you’re an affiliate and have never been to a conference or trade show – stop what you’re doing and get yourself ready for Affiliate Summit West 2015. Affiliate Summit East is coming up in August in New York and it’s also a good show. But if you only had to pick one to go to, it’s definitely the ASW in Vegas.

These Affiliate Summit shows are broken out into two parts: The actual conference, and everything else.

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Affiliate Summit West 2013 Wrap-Up

If you haven’t noticed, I don’t really write those internet marketing news wrap-up posts anymore. Ain’t nobody got time for that! And at this point, I am like four months behind so there is no way in hell I’m catching up unless I start charging for it or something.

But what I do have time for is going to Affiliate Summit West in Las Vegas and writing a wrap-up post about that. Since Shawn Collins gives me a free Press Pass for this stupid blog, I feel obliged to actually write about the show to do my part promoting it.

I didn’t get to go to Las Vegas last year for Affiliate Summit, so it’s been about 2 years since going to a show. It’s great to see people you haven’t seen in two or three years, and it’s great meeting new people along the way.

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Affiliate Summit West 2011 Wrap Up

Shit, better late than never right?

(Actually i had this drafted like 2 weeks ago and just forgot to post it)

Affiliate Summit West came and went, and it was all a blur. I can barely remember what happened after the event, so it’s going to be rather difficult to remember anything a month later. In fact, I regret too much boozing and drugging and wish I had a more productive experience. Whatever though, there’s always the next show after I check into a 12 Step program. Really I could write my own rendition of “Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas” based on my experience, but too much time has passed since.

For anyone wondering, yes Affiliate Summit West in Vegas is the show to go to if you could only choose one. If you’re never been to a conference before, it is highly recommended to get to the next level. While you can get by just fine without ever going, it’s always a cool experience to put faces to names and get people drunk so you can leech their secrets. Time and time again affiliates say the return on investment is huge, so get your shit together and start flipping burgers so you can make it in 2012.

1st Ever Affiliate Ball

Thanks to ProfitKings for being the main sponsor, and all the other sponsors listed here. Thanks to D-Money for putting on a good party. Hope ya’ll enjoyed yourselves bitches!

Holler at me 3 6 Mafia!

Here’s a message from Darren, party thrower extraordinaire, about the event:

In my opinion, the only negative is that this artist turned out to be a little dirtier then I would have liked. Three 6 came with some girls from the AVN show and had them onstage, they became a part of their stage show. At that point there’s nothing I can do but decide that for the next party I’ll get a cleaner artist.

I don’t want to give the impression that I throw dirty parties, the next one could be very G rated with Katy Perry or Weezer. The good is that we had a full venue of people having fun and the sponsors got huge visibility. We were also very organized and made sure all sponsors got their tables and the night flowed smoothly.

You hear that kids?! We keep it G Rated!

My apologizes for posting this so late.

Ad:Tech SF 2010 Rap Up Wrap Up

Update: some pics

Another month, another show. I don’t know how some of you people go to ALL of the shows – I can barely make the one mandatory show – Affiliate Summit Vegas.

These shows are a drain on the soul. Countless pitches from corporate schleps and the same shit over and over again. This is why I did my best to avoid the Ad:Tech floor completely (which I did) and walk the streets like a hobo.

I will do my best to recall what actually happened because it was San Fran and it was around 4.20 …. soooo ….. smoke weed everyday?


Landed and saw the longest line ever for cabs. Literally all of the Ad:Tech attendees must’ve landed at once. Said fuck that shit and took BART. BAM! $8 and 25 minutes later I’m at the hotel. Secretly, I took public transportation in the hopes that I’d run into Epic Beard Man, but unfortunately I did not.

Later on that night I hooked up with Circa Direct and played beer bong with a bunch of people from Jar Media. Me, Circa, and sgryan tore up the beer pong table for at least 2 games before going on a 3 game losing streak. If you know anything about beer pong, you’re getting wasted whether you win or lose, especially if its 10 cups.

Tuesday 4.20

Inside Social Apps

I didn’t go to Adtech because I really wanted to see this Inside Social Apps show. It was a day full of sessions from the people in the business of getting people to waste a few hours a day on playing games. If you’re asking why the fuck you should care, it’s because multi-million dollar companies have popped up in the space in the span of 2-3 years. The amount of dedication and effort it takes to compete in this space is far above what most affiliates are willing to put in and it is a whole different ball game.

I really expected more meaty material on the subject, but after about half a day I realized that the speakers were the top players in this game and weren’t going to say shit. If you went in as a small or indi game developer, then it’s possible you could have been disappointed. That’s not to say one couldn’t learn a whole lot, it’s just that there is so much to know and the top players aren’t giving you the keys to the social city.

But basically you’re asking the top players to tell a room full of competitors how they can become a top player. Real deal inside tips were not dropped. It was all theory and very little technical stuff. Quite the dick tease if you ask me.

For example, Mark Pincus, zynga playboy, was the Keynote and did a little song and dance about where social games should head blah blah blah. He made a funny remark like “one thing you guys should be copying….” in reference to donations.

Hey… Pincus … your entire success was built off copying other peoples games and ideas. Nice poke in the ribs to all your competitors!

Anyway – if you’re in the affiliate space and want to move to the social games space, don’t expect much change in the way of copycats and shit like that. Numerous times throughout this show it became apparent that the developers copy the shit out of each other haha.

It was a great event nonetheless, and if you’re interested in this space, start reading up on this network of websites. There is far too much to recap and no way I’m doing it here.

EWA Network / Circa Direct Party

Now for the main event!

Dear Melody Yang, I’m rippin your images for this post. Please email your C&D.

Before the party even started, we have to pick Dirt Nasty and Andre Legacy from the airport. Dullspace was kind enough to get a limo for the pickup, and YTCracker joined along for the ride. So me, YT, and dullspace pick up Dirt and Andre, and much to my surprise Dullspace gives them a sweet gift – engraved cigarette cases with pre-rolled joints. They absolutely loved that shit.

Mind you, while all of this is going on, Dullspace hooked us up with some of the craziest space vitamins I have ever done smoked. Seriously, I was in space throughout much of the day and night.

Thanks to EWA Network

If you don’t know, now you know.

Ryan Eagle at EWA Network is the sole reason this party was able to happen in the first place. He wanted to step it up a notch from last year’s GET MONEY + GET PAID debacle, and he did so with the flyness.

So if you came to the party and had fun then give props to EWA Network.

Thanks to Circa Direct

For some reason I still can’t explain, Circa Direct helped out with the sponsorship. If you got your free booze on, then holler at this player.

Thanks to Irina @ Geek

Irina from Geek is a friend of YTCracker and held down the front door (if you were wondering who that chick was). She helped a lot, which was great on such short notice.

Irina shot a lot of footage and did a bunch of interviews with people about making monies online. She also got the exclusive interviews with Dirt Nasty and Andre Legacy. When this episode is done, will be the first to know about it. It should be truly epic.

Thanks to YTCracker

If you need to get your party hoppin’, ytcracker is the man for hire. YT got the people dancing with sick dubstep beats and kept it going all night.

Dirt Nasty, Andre Legacy, and Too Short

Who live like this? Too Short was in the building! Too Short could’ve been doing anything with his life – like working in the studio or fucking a dime piece, but no – he came to the EWA Network party. Too bad he didn’t get on stage but if you made your way backstage you definitely could’ve talked to him.

Dirt and Andre put on a sick show. The played the hits like “Bender” “Droppin’ Names” “Baby Dick” and of course “1980” The whole set was fucking glorious. Holler at Mattf for more pics and video.

We’ll have a ton more pics once I hunt down Dirt’s photographer and a funny ass video once is done chopping up the footage.

Things I Fucked Up

If i could do it all over again …

I was so fucking concerned with the maximum amount of people we could let in. I grossly over-estimated the demand and if we promoted it different, we easily could’ve gotten 100-200 more people inside. There were some concerns that the venue was too big for the amount of people – the fact is we could’ve made a huge, public deal about the party and had that bitch full to the brim.

If you made it, you definitely got yourself a sweet, intimate show with the grimiest rappers alive.

It’s a delicate balance between inviting every affiliate in the world and inviting no one at all. Not to mention the balance of gender ratio (which was pretty damn good if I do say so myself.)

I also wish Rob Hustle could’ve got on stage, but unfortunately, no one in Dirt or Too Short’s crew was man enough to battle him. Rob Hustle is a freestyling legend, and unfortunately Mic Davice couldn’t make it, so Hustle had no one to work off of.

YTCracker didn’t rap either, which made me a lot of people sad. He was too busy DJ’ing and was way fucked up on Dullspace’s space vitamins, so its understandable.

More to Come

Dirt had an official photographer at the party, and we can’t wait to see the pics he took. Since he had backstage access they should be pretty fucking key.

And Irina’s episode will be the icing on the cake, and it should be done in the next few days.

Also, mucho thanks to the Mezzanine for hosting the event.

Get money ho.

Schwag from Affiliate Summit East

It’s Wednesday, and unofficially Merchandise Monday! And if you don’t know what schwag is look it up (the non-marijuana definition)

This post is also like 6 weeks late.

Anyway, there was a conference in August in NYC called Affiliate Summit. If you have ever gone to one, you know you can get free shit from the booths like its going out of style. Eventually you realize most of the shit is junk.

But there are some hot items to be had. To be honest, I only got 2 shirts at the conference, and the other two in the mail (which is why this post took so long :: cough cough ::)

Dear Networks – Get more shirts printed in XXL. There are a lot of fat or tall people at these conferences. I have given away nearly every shirt I’ve gotten cause no one prints past XL. That is all. “I Will Not Run on Your Network”

You want it, but you can’t have it! Kris from ordered this one of a kind shirt for me. That’s right, only one in existence. I think I will sign it and post it Warrior Forums Buy Sell Trade… except it might sell better if it read “Please Let Me at Least Sign Up to your Network…”


Convert2Media Billy Mays RIP Limited Edition

This was the hottest item at the conference. I actually wiped down Ruck’s back sweat (if you recall how hot it was in NYC) with it as a momentum – I WILL NEVER WASH THIS SHIRT AGAIN!


CPAHustle Don’t Knock the Hustle

If you haven’t heard of CPAHustle … well, I don’t blame you. But it is an alternative affiliate marketing forum with some quality posts by people that aren’t me.


AKMG Skate Deck

AKMG is popular at these conferences for giving out skate decks.


AKMG Special Gift…

It’s everything I’ve always wanted, but was too afraid to ask! AKMG sent me a special gift along with my skate deck. Don’t you wish you had a bottle?!

Now I just need a tissue box, some tree time, and that topless pic of Amit Mehta that’s been floating around…


Affiliate Summit East Wrap-Up

If you didn’t notice, didn’t make a lot of noise for Affiliate Summit East NY. Months ago, there were plans of a party that would put the Ad:tech Nickycakes + bash to shame. Then as month after month went by, we seemed to have forgotten about it. But a couple of weeks before ASE, the plans were back in motion to tear New York a new one. Unfortunately, throwing a party for a bunch of networks is like trying to organize a wedding, except everyone on the alter is a fat balding man. So nothing ever came to fruition – one network didn’t want to work with another, one had an event planned at the same time, one had a building set on a fire, one is involved with securities and exchange fraud, etc (Fact – only 2 of those excuses were true)

We also could of made a bigger fuss about the party to find more potential sponsors, but we didn’t. Whatever, fuck you. The party didn’t happen, but ASE was fun times for all anyway.

Let’s wrap this son of a bitch up.

I didn’t spend a lot of time at the conference because I wanted to get back home to friends and fam that I haven’t seen in many months. But I did get around enough to have some good times, meet people, collect cards, so on and so forth.

Shawn Collins Blackballs

Apparently I am the only one that gets the limited edition press pass for ASE – the one that DOES NOT give you free food and drinks. Christ, Collins, this blog started for that very reason. Now you take that away? Fuck, I don’t even want the food. I just want 10 drinks to get sloppy on the exhibit floor.

Is there anymore reason to write anymore?

Convert2Media Booth Disappointments

Don’t get me wrong – the C2M booth was the place to be on the exhibit floor. But C2M did disappoint. Seriously, where were the scantily-clad beer wenches? The ample narcotics? The monkeys doing circus acts and flinging feces at each other?

Oh, the monkeys were at the Hydra booth? My b. (JK w/ <3)

East Coast Hot as Shit

Living in Colorado for a few years now, I forgot what bad humidity felt like. Now, if you were in NYC on Sunday and Monday, you would have noticed that it was apparently the hottest day of the year. Spending more than 12 seconds outside meant you were on the verge of collapse for heat exhaustion.

Neverblue Parties it up With an Open Rooftop Bar

Posh place. Check. Open bar, Say no more. There are some Canadian folks in Canada that have a network. They threw a party on Sunday night, where the waitresses were almost too eager to get us drinks. Like seriously, every 15 seconds they came back. Then there were shots of hard whiskey and rum. Jesus, no wonder I can’t remember that night.

Afterwards, me and some peeps hung out in the gxdia hotel room where we discussed kicking Travis Barker’s ass, nailin’ some floozie, and some other shit. Really I can’t remember beyond that. Other stuff happened but it’s not relevant to anything.

It was fun meeting of the WF / twitter / blogging peeps that I haven’t met yet. Specifically dr ngo. Just him. No one else. The rest of ya’ll ain’t shit! NOW DANCE!

Anyway, enough blogging about my antics. I wish I spent a day or two more at the show, but I fubar’ed the planning for myself and was only there a day and a half, plus I’m still on vacation in New York’s retarted little-brother, Philadelphia. Don’t worry, I’ll make it up at Affiliate Summit Vegas.

PPC.Bz Tells Some Stories

So instead of writing more wrap-ups of Affiliate Summit, I’m just going to post any more funny stories I can remember. The shit was like 2 weeks ago and Affiliate Summit talk has died down. It’s a pain in the ass to write those wrap-up posts anyway so I’ll just write what’s going to me.

Flight Attendant Angers Scott Ritcher

I got on my plane at Denver International Airport and I pass by someone that looks awfully familiar. I look back and I say to myself, “Oh shit, that’s the high volume e-mail deployment guy from the Daily Show!” Now, I’ve never met Ritcher but if you’re reading this blog you probably know who he is.

Anyway, I’m sitting like 4-5 rows back, minding my own business. The flight attendant goes up to Mr. Ritcher and says, “Sir I’m going to have to store your jacket in the overhead compartment, this is going to be a full flight”

I’m looking at the back of his head, but I can tell his face is full of anger. He’s probably thinking “How is my jacket going to affect anything when it’s on my lap?”

Minutes later, the plane is ready to leave to Vegas. Clearly it is not a full flight, and flight attendant comes back and says, “Sorry sir, guess it’s not as full as I thought” and gives him his jacket back. Well, no shit. Point: Ritcher.

But it doesn’t end there. Ritcher is sitting in the exit row, and as you know this row requires special attention. As we are taxing out, she begins giving the people in her exit row instructions.

Attendant: “Now to sit in the exit row you have to be able to ….. Sir, You’re going to have to pay attention”
Ritcher probably rolls his eyes at this point.
The attendant continues, “You have to be able to lift 50lbs to be able to sit in an …” :: snaps fingers :: “Sir, I need your eyes on me!”
Did this broad just snap her fingers at him?! At this point I can tell Ritcher is furious. I just wanted to jump up, tackle the woman, and yell “DO YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE TALKING TO?! DON’T SNAP YOUR FINGERS AT HIM!”

Unfortunately, I didn’t because I didn’t want security beating me down. But it would have been funny to be Ritcher’s knight in shining armor. I am confident this man needs no saving.

Get Your Fucking Chihuahua Off of Me Mystery

Some ass that made a living giving girls false hope showed up at the Advaliant Party. You may know him as Mystery. I know him as the guy who is empty inside, compensating for a lost childhood, wearing giant furs to “peacock” some bitches.

Anyway, Smax and I are standing by the bar because Smax wants to buy me a drink. If I recall correctly the drinks were free. But it’s the thought that counts, especially since that area of the mansion was full of people and it was impossible to get a drink in any decent amount of time. It was impossible for us to move, and wouldn’t you know, this Mystery character is right next to me when I turn around.

I keep trying to move away, but his giant chihuahua fur follows me every inch. The thing was all up in my face, and I’m just looking at him like “What the fuck man, get this thing away from me!” Of course I try not to be an ass and I don’t say that out loud. But the coat did make me sneeze, so I sneezed right on that motherfucker.

Allegedly him and a few affiliates went to some club, where he was sitting in a corner by himself. That’s not much of a pimp game for a man who has his own fucking show about macking to girls. I guess most women are on to his game and don’t need that kind of sleeze in their lives.

Affiliate Summit Good Times

I met a ton of people at Affiliate Summit, most of whom I can’t remember. If i saw your face on your blog or something then yes I recognized you and will remember you. If I don’t remember you at next affiliate summit don’t feel bad, I am just too popular.

But of course, there are a few people that stand out above the rest.

Barman Meets Ryan Eagle

Ryan Eagle is a legend in the affiliate marketing industry. If you don’t have Money Hoes Cars Clothes running through your head all day long, you ain’t no affiliate worth talking to.

Allegedly Ryan Eagle and I got a lap dance at the same time from those filthy who-ares at the Copeac Party. Also allegedly, Dullspace and Mike from Firelead played Blackjack with Ryan Eagle, who was dropping $100 chips like they were on fire.

Barman Meets Andrew Wee

I finally met my BFF of internet marketing blogging super stars. It was the best 60 seconds of my life.

Affiliate Summit Disappointments

Barman Does Not Meet Zac Johnson and John Chow

What can I say, this was the biggest downer of the whole conference. I really wanted to talk shop with these guys, and get the latest tips on selling out your blog.

Clearly these guys were above us when it came to parties and shit. I only spent like 3 hours at the whole conference and I never saw these fools walking around. Didn’t see them at any parties, likely cause they were scared for their lives meeting a bunch of wickedfire clowns. Oh well, there’s always next year.