Affiliate Summit East Wrap-Up

If you didn’t notice, didn’t make a lot of noise for Affiliate Summit East NY. Months ago, there were plans of a party that would put the Ad:tech Nickycakes + bash to shame. Then as month after month went by, we seemed to have forgotten about it. But a couple of weeks before ASE, the plans were back in motion to tear New York a new one. Unfortunately, throwing a party for a bunch of networks is like trying to organize a wedding, except everyone on the alter is a fat balding man. So nothing ever came to fruition – one network didn’t want to work with another, one had an event planned at the same time, one had a building set on a fire, one is involved with securities and exchange fraud, etc (Fact – only 2 of those excuses were true)

We also could of made a bigger fuss about the party to find more potential sponsors, but we didn’t. Whatever, fuck you. The party didn’t happen, but ASE was fun times for all anyway.

Let’s wrap this son of a bitch up.

I didn’t spend a lot of time at the conference because I wanted to get back home to friends and fam that I haven’t seen in many months. But I did get around enough to have some good times, meet people, collect cards, so on and so forth.

Shawn Collins Blackballs

Apparently I am the only one that gets the limited edition press pass for ASE – the one that DOES NOT give you free food and drinks. Christ, Collins, this blog started for that very reason. Now you take that away? Fuck, I don’t even want the food. I just want 10 drinks to get sloppy on the exhibit floor.

Is there anymore reason to write anymore?

Convert2Media Booth Disappointments

Don’t get me wrong – the C2M booth was the place to be on the exhibit floor. But C2M did disappoint. Seriously, where were the scantily-clad beer wenches? The ample narcotics? The monkeys doing circus acts and flinging feces at each other?

Oh, the monkeys were at the Hydra booth? My b. (JK w/ <3)

East Coast Hot as Shit

Living in Colorado for a few years now, I forgot what bad humidity felt like. Now, if you were in NYC on Sunday and Monday, you would have noticed that it was apparently the hottest day of the year. Spending more than 12 seconds outside meant you were on the verge of collapse for heat exhaustion.

Neverblue Parties it up With an Open Rooftop Bar

Posh place. Check. Open bar, Say no more. There are some Canadian folks in Canada that have a network. They threw a party on Sunday night, where the waitresses were almost too eager to get us drinks. Like seriously, every 15 seconds they came back. Then there were shots of hard whiskey and rum. Jesus, no wonder I can’t remember that night.

Afterwards, me and some peeps hung out in the gxdia hotel room where we discussed kicking Travis Barker’s ass, nailin’ some floozie, and some other shit. Really I can’t remember beyond that. Other stuff happened but it’s not relevant to anything.

It was fun meeting of the WF / twitter / blogging peeps that I haven’t met yet. Specifically dr ngo. Just him. No one else. The rest of ya’ll ain’t shit! NOW DANCE!

Anyway, enough blogging about my antics. I wish I spent a day or two more at the show, but I fubar’ed the planning for myself and was only there a day and a half, plus I’m still on vacation in New York’s retarted little-brother, Philadelphia. Don’t worry, I’ll make it up at Affiliate Summit Vegas.

  • Why didn’t you call me?

  • I didn’t know you were so sensitive.

    Based on the recap from Vegas, it sounded like you were out like a baller getting wined and dined.

    The pass that comes with the drinks also comes with meals, and we pay for them whether or not people use them.

    I will take you for In-N-Out Burger and a 40 in Vegas to make things right.

  • groneg

    Highlight of my trip:

    On our way to Glam (which blew)- when our cabbie rushed to turn at a light and hit a dude crossing the street. The guy landed on the hood bounced up and started smashing his fists on the hood.

    Two Words: Healing Factor.

  • I got the no-free-food/drinks Limited Edition Press Pass too. Let’s blackball Shawn Collins for ASW.

  • @Affbuzz @Barman

    Maybe you should get the Speaker pass then?

    Failing which I understand there might be 1, maybe even 2 (!) hotdog stands in NYC?

  • A pleasure seeing you again.

  • @AndrewWee maybe you should make a fucking useful blog post.

  • Shawn Collins, a cheeseburger will be fine, thank you very much.

  • A whale is fine too.